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You Too Can Support the Internet’s Least Important Series

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This is the archive of the Erik Visits an American Grave Series

1) Henry Clay Frick, vile steel capitalist
2) Eng and Chang Bunker, famed 19th century conjoined twins
3) James Buchanan , our doughface 15th president
4) William F. Buckley, vomit-inducing conservative
5) Thaddeus Stevens , abolitionist hero
6) John Mitchell, former United Mine Workers of America president
7) Gifford Pinchot, founding conservationist and forester
8) Philip Murray, CIO president
9) Johnny Unitas, quarterback with a haircut you can set your watch to.
10) Jacob Riis, writer of How the Other Half Lives
11) Henry George, single-tax advocate of late 19th century
12) Samuel Gompers, American Federation of Labor president
13) Sidney Hillman, Amalgamated Clothing Workers Union president
14) J.P. Morgan, capitalist swine
15) Boss Tweed, honest broker
16) Henry Ward Beecher, 19th century minister
17) William Clark, Montana copper plutocrat who bought his Senate seat, leading to 17th Amendment
18) Oliver Wendell Holmes, Supreme Court justice
19) Andrew Carnegie, steel capitalist who spent a lot of money to charity to try and wash the blood off his hands
20) Martin Luther King, Jr., seller of Dodge trucks on Super Bowl ads and Coretta Scott King, the woman who pushed him to the left
21) Richard Nixon, asshole of all assholes
22) Frederick Law Olmsted, landscape architect and designer of Central Park
23) Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 2nd greatest president in U.S. history and Eleanor Roosevelt, greatest first lady in U.S. history.
24) Bob Marshall, forester and socialist
25) John Winthrop, Puritan leader
26) Howard Zahniser, leader of the Wilderness Society
27) Eliot Ness, man who stole much needed booze from people
28) Robert McNamara, who never hurt a living soul
29) John D. Rockefeller, oil capitalist who God decided deserved to lose all his body hair so that he looked like the shriveled parasite he was
30) Nathanael Greene, Rhode Island’s Revolutionary War hero
31) Ambrose Burnside, man with better facial hair than military leadership skills
32) Frederick Augustus Muhlenberg, first Speaker of the House
33) James Garfield, 20th in presidential order, 1st in absurdly over the top tombs
34) Lyman Beecher, early 19th century minister
35) Archibald MacLeish, playwright, Popular Front figure
36) William Marcy, New York doughface who served the slave power
37) George Washington, 1st president, etc
38) Noah Webster, dictionary creator
39) Jedidiah Morse, early geographer
40) Mark Hanna, Gilded Age Republican kingmaker
41) Thurlow Weed, leading Whig
42) Bart Giamatti, baseball commissioner, unionbuster
43) Robert Fulton, steamship pioneer
44) William McKinley, 25th president
45) Eli Whitney, inventor
46) Timothy Dwight, Federalist and Yale president
47) Spiro Agnew, alliterative vice-president and crook
48) Roger Sherman, Founding Father
49) Ulysses S. Grant, General, 18th president, went from underrated to overrated overnight sometime in June 2013 or so
50) William Paterson–early political figure from New Jersey
51) Al Smith, Democratic candidate for president in 1928
52) Mark Twain, greatest of all American authors
53) Tip O’Neill, Speaker of the House
54) Nicholas Cage, American lunatic
55) Albert Gallatin, Secretary of the Treasury under Jefferson and Madison
56) Hubert Humphrey, Democratic nominee for president in 1968
57) Lyle Alzado, defensive linemen and steroid addict
58) Harold Stassen, addicted to presidential runs
59) Leona Helmsley, model for the New Gilded Age capitalist
60) Abigail Scott Duniway, suffragist
61) Homer Plessy, plaintiff in Plessy v. Ferguson
62) Charles Goodyear, vulcanized rubber
63) Louisa May Alcott, writer
64) Paul Wellstone, great liberal senator
65) Carl Pohlad, Minnesota Twins owner
66) James J. Hill, railroad capitalist
67) Robert Wagner, senator responsible for National Labor Relations Act
68) Rexford Guy Tugwell, New Deal liberal
69) Ely Parker, Seneca engineer and assistant to Grant in Civil War
70) Virgil Earp, gunfighter
71) Edward Everett, long-winded orator of mid-19th century
72) Joseph Story, Supreme Court justice
73) Buckminster Fuller, futurist
74) Joseph Warren, early Revolutionary War general
75) Thomas Catron, legal thief of New Mexican land grants
76) Buffalo Bill Cody, western entertainer
77) Bernard Baruch, New Deal financier
78) Nathaniel Hawthorne, writer
79) Lucien Maxwell, New Mexico land baron
80) Glenn Miller, musician
81) Walter Camp, college football coach
82) Louis Agassiz, 19th century scientist
83) William Clay Ford, owner of Detroit Lions, bane of Lions fans
84) Elizabeth Gurley Flynn, The Rebel Girl
85) Warren Harding, 23rd president
86) Emma Goldman, anarchist
87) Henry Ford, auto capitalist, anti-Semite
88) Roscoe Conkling, Gilded Age New York political leader
89) Alexander Hamilton, Washington’s Secretary of the Treasury, Federalist Party founder
90) Charles McNary, Oregon senator
91) George Hoar, anti-imperialist Gilded Age senator
92) John Galen Locke, Grand Dragon of the Colorado Ku Klux Klan
93) Gerald and Betty Ford, 38th president and first lady
94) Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, first lady
95) Ralph Waldo Emerson, legendary essayist
96) Voltarine de Cleyre, anarchist
97) John F. Kennedy, overrated president
98) Billy Sunday, preacher of the early 20th century
99) Ron Brown, one of Hillary’s many many many murder victims
100) Joseph Inslee Anderson, early 19th century Tennessee senator
101) William Howard Taft, 27th president
102) Stephen Solarz, Democratic congressman and congressional leader on foreign policy
103) Billy the Kid, murderous thug
104) Omar Bradley, general
105) Elbridge Gerry, Early Republic politician who has caused us no problems today
106) Charles Pillsbury, flour capitalist
107) Potter Stewart, Supreme Court justice
108) Paul Laurence Dunbar, African-American poet
109) John Shalikashvili, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
110) John Smilie, early Jeffersonian member of Congress
111) Phil Sheridan, general who subdued the South and committed genocide in the West
112) Orville and Wilbur Wright, first flyers
113) Matthew Brady, photographer
114) Hugh Bennett, head of Soil Conservation Service
115) Adolph Strasser, president of the Cigar Makers International Union, key early figure in the AFL
116) Paul Revere, critical figure of American Revolution
117) Thomas Nast, cartoonist
118) William Niskanen, economist, running dog for extremist anti-government capitalism
119) Clement Vallandigham, arrested for treason in Civil War, then became Democratic nominee for governor of Ohio while in Canadian exile
120) Paul Harvey, Cold War-era radio blowhard
121) James Otis, early leader of Boston’s resistance to British rule
122) William Brennan, Supreme Court justice
123) William Pinkney, Jeffersonian Era political figure
124) Max Roach, drummer and jazz legend
125) Robert Wagner, Jr., New York mayor
126) John Chivington, genocidal maniac, leader of the Sand Creek Massacre
127) Mass grave of the Hawk’s Nest victims, the greatest massacre of workers from unhealthy conditions in American history
128) Claude Bowers, popularizer of pro-Southern Reconstruction history, ambassador to Spain during Spanish Civil War
129) Shirley Chisholm, Unbought and Unbossed
130) LeRoy Neiman, artist
131) Frank Lautenberg, New Jersey senator
132) Lysander Spooner, abolitionist and intellectual founder of libertarianism
133) Jackie McLean, saxophonist
134) Adolph Sabath, long-time congressman from Chicago
135) Rutherford B. Hayes, 19th president
136) Fiorello LaGuardia, mayor
137) Julius Krug, Truman’s Secretary of the Interior
138) Alexander Wilson, ornithologist
139) John Hay, Lincoln’s secretary, McKinley and Roosevelt’s Secretary of State
140) Thelonious Monk, pianist and jazz legend
141) Ernie Davis, Heisman winner
142) John C. Breckinridge, traitor, 1860 Southern Democratic candidate for president
143) Jay Gould, Gilded Age capitalist scum
144) Sid Hatfield, Matewan, West Virginia police chief killed by coal companies for defending miners
145) Grantland Rice, sportswriter
146) Charles Sumner, abolitionist senator
147) William Gibbs McAdoo, Wilson’s Secretary of the Treasury
148) William Lloyd Garrison, abolitionist
149) Louis Armstrong, foundational figure of jazz
150) Red Jacket, Seneca leader
151) Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Supreme Court justice
152) Miles Davis, trumpeter, one of most innovative figures in music history
153) Millard Fillmore, very bad president
154) George McNeill, father of the 8-hour day
155) Ed Muskie, Maine senator
156) Charles Evans Hughes, Supreme Court justice, 1916 Republican candidate for president
157) Mass grave of the victims of Wounded Knee
158) Thurgood Marshall, Supreme Court justice, civil rights leader
159) Collis Huntington, railroad capitalist
160) Rick James, Superfreak
161) Uriah Tracy, Federalist politician
162) Abraham Lincoln, greatest president in American history
163) Tom Lantos, chief fighter for human rights in Congress during late 20th and early 21st centuries
164) Horatio Seymour, racist, 1868 Democratic candidate for president
165) Adolph Rupp, college basketball coach
166) Cab Calloway, jazz singer
167) Bernard Malamud, novelist
168) Pushmataha, Choctaw leader
169) John L. Lewis, United Mine Workers of America president, founder of the CIO
170) James Cox, Democratic candidate for president in 1920
171) Pete Rozelle, NFL commissioner
172) Samuel Adams, revolutionist
173) Ray and Joan Kroc, fast food capitalist, San Diego Padres owner, and she, a philanthropist
174) Michael Green and Theda Perdue, historians of Native American history
175) Henry Clay, Whig, 3-time presidential candidate
176) Charles Wilkes, 19th century naval officer with penchant for major screwups
177) Celia Cruz, queen of Cuban music
178) James Forrestal, first Secretary of Defense
179) Malcolm Glazer, Tampa Bay Buccaneers owner
180) Whitney Young, head of Urban League, civil rights activist
181) George Bird Grinnell, conservationist
182) Hugh Marlowe, actor
183) David Clough, Minnesota governor, architect of 1916 Everett Massacre
184) Madame Chiang Kai-Shek, wife of Chinese leader
185) Philip Barbour, early 19th century states rights advocate, Supreme Court justice
186) Hugh Johnson, National Recovery Administration head
187) John Nordstrom, department store founder
188) Robert Mosbacher, Secretary of Commerce under George HW Bush
189) Ben Reitman, anarchist
190) Hal Roach, film director
191) Henry Yesler, early Seattle timber capitalist
192) Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee, actors and civil rights leaders
193) Francis Cabot Lowell, early textile industrialist
194) Hugo Black, Supreme Court justice, father of the Fair Labor Standards Act
195) James Sherman, Taft’s vice-president
196) Al Haig, scary and bad man
197) Paul Robeson, actor, singer, freedom fighter
198) Henry Teller, Colorado senator
199) Lawrence La Monte, killed during American Indian Movement’s Wounded Knee occupation
200) Malcolm X, black freedom fighter
201) Peggy Pascoe, historian
202) Enrico Fermi, atomic physicist
203) Franklin Pierce, alcoholic doughface 14th President who served the Slave Power
204) Paul Revere , frontman of Paul Revere and the Raiders
205) Lucy Parsons, radical
206) James Birney, abolitionist and 1844 Liberty Party candidate for the presidency
207) James Baldwin, writer and social commenter
208) Susan Komen, cancer victim
209) Junior Wells, blues legend
210) Dixy Lee Ray, iconoclastic Washington governor, 1977-81
211) Roland Hartley, Washington governor, 1925-33
212) Harry Emerson Fosdick, minister
213) Jason Mizell, Jam Master Jay of Run-DMC
214) Frank Church, Senator from Idaho
215) William Wirt, longest serving Attorney General in US history
216) J.R. Simplot, French fry capitalist
217) Claude and Geraldine Lightfoot, communists
218) Cap Anson, Baseball hall of famer, segregationist
219) Moses Alexander, Idaho governor, first practicing Jewish governor in US history
220) Harriet Jacobs, writer of Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl
221) Samuel Hammersmark, radical
222) John Philip Sousa, composer of imperialist music
223) William Herndon, Lincoln’s law partner
224) Bruce Lee, martial arts film star
225) Jock Yablonski, United Mineworkers of America reformer
226) Theodore Roosevelt, 26th president
227) Arthur Schlesinger, Jr., historian and Kennedy advisor
228) Roland Burris, notorious winner of the Blago Illinois Senate seat sweepstakes
229) Vito Marcantonio, leftist congressman from New York
230) T.V. Soong, Chinese exile
231) Herman Melville, novelist
232) Thomas McKennan, Secretary of the Interior for 11 days
233) Ray Boone, third baseman
234) Lionel Hampton, vibraphonist
235) John Altgeld, reformist Illinois governor, pardoned the Haymarket prisoners
236) Joe Coors, asshole extraordinaire
237) John Paul Stevens, Supreme Court justice
238) Whiskey, famed Army show horse
239) Preston Sturges, director of great comedies
240) Louis Brandeis, Supreme Court justice
241) George Norris, Nebraska senator, father of the Tennessee Valley Authority
242) Jesse Owens, sprinter and hero of the 1936 Olympics
243) Doc Holliday, thug of the Old West
244) John Marshall, most important jurist in American history
245) Tom Girdler, murderous steel capitalist, man responsible for the Memorial Day Massacre
246) James Angleton, head of CIA counterintelligence
247) Paul Kilday, militaristic and racist Texas congressman in the mid-20th century
248) Dan Rostenkowski, disgraced chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee
249) Shelby Cullom, Illinois senator and imperialist
250) John Porter East, acolyte of Jesse Helms and senator from North Carolina
251) James McHenry, Secretary of War under Washington and Adams
252) Melville Fuller, Chief Justice and probably worst Supreme Court justice in US history
253) Terence Powderly, Knights of Labor leader
254) Fred Rogers, giant of children’s television
255) George Halas, Chicago Bears coach and founder
256) Boston Massacre dead
257) Bob Elliott, 1947 NL MVP
258) James Monroe, president
259) Lane Kirkland, AFL-CIO president
260) Edwin Stanton, Lincoln’s Secretary of War
261) Tom McCall, Oregon governor, environmentalist
262) Ludwig Mies van der Rohe, modernist architect
263) Patti Page, 1950s pop star
264) Max Ophuls, director
265) William Warfield, opera singer
266) Clint Jencks, organizer for Mine, Mill and the Salt of the Earth strike
267) Charlie Monroe, old-time country musician
268) Abelard and Heloise, medieval French lovers
269) Duke Ellington, greatest of jazz musicians
270) Bennett Champ Clark, isolationist senator from Missouri
271) Jim Morrison, douche
272) Eugene Debs, organizer and Socialist
273) George McGovern, Democratic nominee for president in 1972
274) Marcel Proust, author of endless novel
275) Malik Sealy, basketball player
276) Louis Sullivan, architect
277) Warren Burger, mediocre Chief Justice
278) Daniel Patrick Moynihan, senator who suffered from the white family pathology of racism
279) George Marshall, Army Chief of Staff, Secretary of State, Secretary of Defense
280) George Kennan, architect of Cold War foreign policy
281) Gertrude Stein and Alice Toklas–center of American expat scene in Paris, modernist writer
282) Sumner Welles, New Deal diplomat
283) Simone Signoret and Yves Montand, legendary French actors
284) The Haymarket Martyrs–anarchists unjustly convicted for Haymarket bombing
285) John and Peggy O’Neill Eaton, scandalous couple of Jackson’s Cabinet
286) J.E.B. Stuart, traitor in defense of slavery, general
287) Arthur Ashe, tennis player, AIDS victim
288) Lucy Randolph Mason, Consumers League head, union activist in the South
289) I.W. Abel, United Steelworkers of America president
290) Maggie Walker, African-American community builder
291) Robert Treat Paine, signer of Declaration of Independence
292) Patsy Cline, country music legend
293) J. Edgar Hoover, scumbag
294) Peter Daniel, reactionary Supreme Court justice noted for being to the right of Taney in Dred Scott
295) Walter Reed, doctor who helped discover the cause of yellow fever
296) Richard Henry Pratt, founder of Carlisle Indian School, purveyor of cultural genocide
297) Lewis Powell, Supreme Court justice, tobacco lobbyist, author of the Powell Memo
298) Caspar Weinberger, Reagan’s Secretary of Defense
299) Henry Adams, chronicler of Gilded Age life
300) Henry David Thoreau, writer
301) Dudley Moore, comedian and pianist
302) Traveller, horse of treason
303) George Pullman, railroad capitalist responsible for the Pullman Strike
304) Winston Edmunds, butler at Virginia governor’s mansion during Jim Crow era
305) B. Vithal Shetty, developer of heart medicine
306) Ephraim Bull, bred Concord grape
307) Edwin Drake, created modern oil industry through drilling innovations
308) Stefan Osusky, Slovak nationalist in exile
309) John Hancock, man with large signature
310) John O’Hara, great mid-century writer
311) Jackie Robinson, baseball and civil rights legend
312) Jefferson Davis, traitor in defense of slavery
313) Matthew Maury, naval scientist, traitor in defense of slavery
314) Robert Taft, anti-union extremist senator
315) William Jennings Bryan, political giant
316) Margaret Fuller, Transcendentalist
317) George Baer, villain of the 1902 Anthracite Strike
318) Bernard Kilgore, Wall Street Journal editor
319) Elizabeth Freeman, slave whose lawsuit for freedom helped end slavery in Massachusetts
320) William O. Douglas, Supreme Court justice
321) Earl Butz, Secretary of Agriculture, creator of modern farm subsidy system
322) John Jacob Astor, fur capitalist
323) Stephen Field, Supreme Court justice of the Gilded Age
324) Kenesaw Mountain Landis, blowhard judge, baseball commissioner
325) Lester Young, jazz legend
326) Sarah Bagley, labor leader of Lowell Mill Girls
327) Piet Mondrian, modernist artist

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