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Category: “family values”

Republicans fit discrimination against transgender, non-binary Americans into busy Be Evil schedule

[ 119 ] July 16, 2017 |

The title of HR 2796 gives a hint of how horrible the text will be: The Civil Rights Uniformity Act of 2017.

It begins with a repurposing of the man/woman marriage tradition/science argle that moderate Ha ha ha Republicans used during their last fight to stop same sex couples from marrying:


(a) Findings.–Congress finds the following:
(1) Over the past half century, Congress has passed numerous civil rights laws prohibiting discrimination on the basis of “sex”, a designation long understood to be grounded in objective biology up to the present day. There is no evidence that Congress or the American people ever understood the word sex or gender in civil rights laws to include subjective self-identification.

There’s a lot of waffling about Executive Overreach, but the main purposes of the bill are to:

  1. Eradicate protections transgender and non-binary people received during the Obama administration.
  2. Make it clear that discrimination against these Americans is OK with Republicans.
  3. Allow Republicans to define gender as Boys are Boys and Girls are Girls, so there!
  4. Warn normal people that the Republican Party is full of perverts who are always thinking about their naughty bits.

(9) The Obama administration’s actions are an affront to the rule of law, the separation of powers, the will of the people, language, history, safety, privacy, and biological realities.

Whereas vicious Republican wankbags are an affront to everything.

This bill prohibits the word “sex” or “gender” from being interpreted to mean “gender identity,” and requires “man” or “woman” to be interpreted to refer exclusively to a person’s genetic sex, for purposes determining the meaning of federal civil rights laws or related federal administrative agency regulations or guidance.

It isn’t possible to tell what Pete Olson (R-Texas) – the bill’s author – means by genetic sex. Coming up with a definition that is central to his point exceeded the mental capacity of a person who recently claimed that Bill Clinton confessed to the murder of Vince Foster. Quelle surprise.

At any rate, I assume the basic idea is to permit and encourage atrocious behavior towards anyone who doesn’t fit into whatever weird definition of Gender Appropriate happens to be au courant at any particular moment.

Provided the intended victim doesn’t look like they could fight back.

I never like to guess whether a bill will make it to the twit with the tiny mitts. Olson introduced the bill in early June and and it has picked up five co-sponsors. Not a mad rush, but my concern is that if the Break Health Care in America bill doesn’t make it through Senate, the Republicans will start looking around for something they can send to the bigly Desk Resolutely in the Ovaly Office toute de suite.

Also, these people are mean and hateful. Making it easier to persecute people is something they want to do, and would make them look good to the mean, hateful people who voted for them.



[ 274 ] March 12, 2017 |

Republicans are becoming more and more comfortable with admitting the GOP is the party of white supremacy. However, King’s little paean makes me wonder when they’ll start saying another quiet part out loud: The ability to wring as many babies as possible out of the bodies of white women and girls is an essential part of their plan to maintain and increase racial inequality.

Sure, it all stems from the hatred of, and desire to subjugate, women. But the concept of patriotic parturition would cut the need for po-facery about Life and Babies and the Ladies who are too stupid to know that they really do want to have a baby but at the same time can be trusted to care for an infant.

Patriotic parturition would also eliminate the hassle of arguing about birth control and skip straight to asserting that a white woman who fails to have babies is un-American. In fact, once they openly admit that white women are needed outbreed inner-city thugs, terrorists of color and cantaloupe-calved drug mules, a woman who fails to get pregnant is endangering the country. (And God help her if she has a baby with one of Them.)

As an added bonus, it will allow the bellicose chickenshits who infest the right wing to believe they’re fighting the war on terrorism every time they get a boner.

Update: Commentarian Nick Flynn shared this lovely mango.

I can’t tell if Wife With a Purpose is challenging women to make 6+ babies right now (supplies available at your local Hobby Lobby), or to provide proof they’ve made six at some point in their lives. At any rate, a photo of one child out of every three will be sufficient, apparently.

Kissin’ cousins

[ 63 ] March 9, 2017 |

Another day, another conservative Christian who is a parody of a conservative Christian.

The details sound straight out of a soap opera.

A doctor and his younger nurse fall in love. They continue their torrid affair even after his ex-wife tips off the nurse’s husband, a local politician, to the salacious goings-on. As the divorce moves forward, discovery turns up that the nurse is not just the doctor’s employee and his lover, but his patient, with a predilection for pain pills. And, oh, she’s his second cousin, too.


This is the town of Hohenwald (pop. 3,703) in Lewis County, where bitter divorce proceedings have brought to light possibly unethical behavior by Dr. Joey Hensley, a Republican state senator who also happens to be a family physician — and one who has run for office since 2002 on a platform of conservative Christian values.

He also happens to have been married four times because values.

Bills he has sponsored include

“Don’t Say Gay” bill, which would have banned public school teachers from even mentioning that homosexuality exists. During one hearing that year, Hensley commented, “I don’t think Modern Family is appropriate for children to watch” — because it features a married gay couple raising children. This session, Hensley is sponsoring a bill from the Tennessee Family Action Council that would make children created using donor sperm illegitimate — an attempt to make it harder for gay and lesbian parents to establish paternity. He is also a sponsor of the so-called “Milo Bill,” aimed at liberal practices on college campuses.

Fortunately for Sen. Hensley, being caught with one’s pants down isn’t an automatic career killer for a Republican. His voters will forgive him and feel virtuous for doing so. And when he continues his homophobic harassment campaign they’ll feel virtuous for contributing to that, as well.

Arkansas’ latest anti-abortion law has a little bit of everything for misogynists

[ 66 ] February 4, 2017 |
Arkansas' official state activity & symbols book. Kids! Can you find your way through the health care for women maze?

Arkansas’ official state activity & symbols book. Kids! Can you find your way through the health care for women maze?

Would life under a Republican who isn’t Trump be better for women? Let’s go to Arkansas to find out!

The “Unborn Child Protection From Dismemberment Abortion Act,” signed into law last week by Gov. Asa Hutchinson (R), bans dilation and evacuation procedures, in which the physician removes the fetus from the womb with surgical tools. D&E procedures are the safest and most common way women can end their pregnancies after 14 weeks of gestation, according to the American Medical Association.

It is a teeny thing I know, but who the hell comes up with the names for these things?

The ban on D&E pairs well with the fact that that Arkansas already makes it difficult for women to receive a abortion during the first trimester.

The law, HB1032, defines an unborn child as “an individual organism of the species Homo sapiens from fertilization until live birth” at which point the sort of people who pass these bills cease to give a fuck and – because lines are never blurred enough for the GOP – a woman as ” a female human being whether or not she has reached the age of majority.”

The law also intimidates abortion providers by allowing people to sue the doctor who performs or attempts to perform a D&E unless it was required to save the pregnant woman or girl’s life: The person seeking the abortion, the husband of the person seeking the abortion or parents of a minor seeking an abortion. I don’t know how many providers in Arkansas perform D&E, but once this law goes into effect they’re going to be swamped by idiots trying to run their own sting operations.

In addition, a patient, the patient’s husband/guardian (same difference in The Patriarchy) or another health care provider of the patient can file an injunction against the provider who intends to perform the abortion.

Since a patient who doesn’t want an abortion can not have one or cancel if she changes her mind, giving her the right to file an injunction would be merely stupid, if it weren’t so obviously an attempt to create the illusion of freedom. The woman, the husband and health care providers all have the right to control the woman’s body; if that doesn’t say equality, what does? But it gets worse (of course).

The law states that the husband cannot sue the doctor for money in cases of “criminal conduct” against his wife ― namely, spousal rape ― but he could still sue to block her from having the abortion.

Nothing says law and order like letting violent criminals control their victims.

A better, or at least more accurate name for the bill would have been Patriarchal Republicans Improving Reproductive Coercion in the Kakistocracy.

White chickens at the home of The Terps

[ 110 ] December 24, 2016 |
A white supremacist flier found on the campus of the University of Maryland. (Jessica Goldberg)

A white supremacist flier found on the campus of the University of Maryland. (Jessica Goldberg)

Over the summer, black bears showed up on University of Maryland’s campus. Last week it was visited by white chickens.

A person who responded to messages at one of American Vanguard’s Twitter accounts said he founded the group last year. He said the group has 100 members around the country, and four in the College Park area, including two on campus. He said the group recruits on social media and has garnered attention for posting fliers at nine college campuses so far. He corresponded with The Washington Post and agreed to comment on condition of anonymity, saying that he fears reprisals.

I’ve never understood how anyone expects to lead the Battle for Blancness if they’re afraid of reprisals. However, the mind of the aggressive coward has always been a mystery to me. Be it the class bully or the gazillionth Chas Fitzwhitepower yelling about the undeniable superiority of the master race, such people don’t want a fight; they want a victory. This is why the least whiff of disagreement from other whites – the so-called race traitor – horrifies Fitzwhitepower (and by the same token, why failing to disagree with him is a form of encouragement): Not only is that one less body between him and The Enemy, it’s a potential enemy who cheats by looking like a real person. Unfair!

But in the case of Chas Fitzwhitepower #32,256 he may also be afraid of reprisals from his fellow Fitzwhitepowers.

“I’ve seen my hometown flooded with immigrants, my family struggle financially and Marxist garbage taught in our schools,” he said in a message. “I’ve been waiting for a real American nationalist group for years, but I came to the realization that I’d have to do it myself.”

With an original list of complaints like that I can see why #32,256 was dissatisfied with all of those poseur nationalists out there. Or perhaps that’s White Supremacy, Trumplethinskin Style at work. A sort of weenie individualism that must first assert one’s greatness, never fail to emphasize that the other guys are losers and then whine. This may not make them harmless, but should serve as a reminder that pushing the buttons of thin-skinned cowards is an essential part of resisting fascism.

As an aside, the pale pullets visited campus the day after finals began, but the I.W.W. seems to have stepped into the breach by posting fliers condemning the event.

The New Anti-Pornographers

[ 155 ] April 21, 2016 |

Some days the double entendres just write themselves. Such as when the Utah legislature and Gov. Gary “Pervert” Herbert declare that pornography is a public health hazard and promise to take a long, hard, penetrating look at the threat pornography poses to society, get to the bottom of what’s causing the problem and lick it so it never rears its head in Utah again.

The nonbinding resolution calls for research, education and policy changes “to address the pornography epidemic that is harming the citizens of Utah and the nation.”

You will be shocked to learn the nonBDSMbinding resolution is full of the same lies about porn that the panty police have been flogging since about 10 seconds after someone drew an picture of man with a boner on a cave wall in Lascaux. (The fucking French and their accidental penisings go back a long way.)

“The resolution makes way for a multifaceted approach to solving this crisis, said Pamela Atkinson, the chair of the Utah Coalition Against Pornography board.

“She said the state is worried about 82 percent of sex offenders who started off by viewing pornography.

And I bet 90% of them were right handed! I believe the logical fallacy is known as cherry-picking?

Or maybe it’s the one known as lying through one’s teeth.

“‘They acknowledged they got involved with simple — or soft core porn — years ago,’ she said. ‘It’s not so satisfying anymore and that’s when they move on to the hard core porn. When that is not satisfying any more, they act out on real human beings. They objectify children and young women.'”

Yes that’s right. A group of people said they once saw a softly-lit tit framed by a feather boa … and She Who Rummages under Mattresses & Through Your Search History still has to imply that they said they started raping kids as a result.

Possibly because Atkinson is aware that insisting there’s a link will cause someone to whip out one of the many studies that shows there’s no correlation between the availability of porn and sexual assault.

It’s a delicate line for the Families Against Porn crowd to tread. They want women and (I assume) men who have children, to be good and scared or this shit absolutely will not work.

At the same time, if one runs around shrieking that every man who looks at film of two adults playing hide the gherkin will turn into a drooling rapist, every normal man who has looked at the gherkin video will get pissed off. The rapists, however, will appreciate yet another excuse for their behavior. Debbie Does Dallas made them do it!

The Utah Commission for Upholding Morals does acknowledge that women look at porn, but for some mysterious reason that eludes me at the moment, women aren’t expected to start assaulting anything that moves. Instead they become passive sex toys for the porn-crazed men.

Got it! The reason is the entire point of this exercise is to reinforce the patriarchal attitudes that do pose a risk to women and children. And probably make a few bucks while looking at dirty books and videos. (As an aside, this is one of the many reasons I’ve never gotten the willingness of some radical feminists to join forces with the neo-cons to fight porn. However, there’s a slight chance they’ll all wind up locked in the same room together and someone will lose the key, so I don’t object. I just don’t get it.)

Legions of men shuffling around with their pants around their ankles as they moan “Boooooobs” aren’t the only thing Utah is worried about. Porn also makes the young fellas not want to get married, and when they do get married, they aren’t happy.

WHEREAS, pornography use is linked to lessening desire in young men to marry, dissatisfaction in marriage, and infidelity;

The weight bearing capacity of “is linked to” is impressive, but it is starting to show some hairline cracks.

And I can see why young men not wanting to get married is a concern in a state with the youngest average age for newlyweds. Why, they might start waiting until they’re the hoary age of 28 and then women might start waiting until they’re 26. And the next thing you know absolutely nothing bad has happened and the Committee to Re-examine Explicit Animated Media & Pornography Investigation Executive will have to find something else to do.

Merci to Trumpeter against Trump efgoldman for the heads up.

The following video contains naughty words, don’t click at work, in front of small children or in the state of Utah.

Agriculture and Commerce ^and Hate

[ 82 ] April 8, 2016 |

Tennessee has taken steps to protect the religious freedoms (a dog whistle that dropped to 10 kHz the first time it was used) of anyone who wants to call himself a counselor.

HB 1840, which is awaiting the governor’s signature, states in part

No counselor or therapist providing counseling or therapy services shall be required to counsel or serve a client as to goals, outcomes, or behaviors that conflict with a sincerely held religious belief of the counselor or therapist; provided,that the counselor or therapist coordinates a referral of the client to another counselor or therapist who will provide the counseling or therapy.

It protects

any person, whether or not such person is licensed, registered, or otherwise regulated by this state.

I assume unlicensed persons = ministers, because you know how gay people are always lawyering up when their pastors refuse to help them as they struggle to figure out who they are or how to come out to their parents. Also – I’m guessing – the creeps at those make sure your pregnancy is a crisis centers.

Organizations such as the American Counseling Association and the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy opposed the bill, but I’m sure there are licensed counselors in the Volunteer State who can’t wait to deny treatment to someone they find offensive. And since the bill doesn’t even contain an exception for a patient who is in crisis, they can refuse to do their jobs in a emergency without fear of repercussion. Thank goodness states like Tennessee are willing to protect hateful troglodytes from imaginary menaces by harming people who committed the heinous crime of being different, in order to gratify those voters who aren’t happy unless they’re certain the state is taking steps to make sure that someone, somewhere is being oppressed.

And talking of troglodytes, how about Jeremy Durham, one of HB 1840’s sponsors?

House Speaker Beth Harwell announced Thursday that she is moving Rep. Jeremy Durham’s office to the ground floor of a building across the street and that his access to committee rooms and the House chamber will be limited to when meetings are taking place. The move comes amid a state attorney general’s investigation into the Franklin Republican’s “pattern of conduct” toward women.

Interviews with 34 current and former lawmakers, lobbyists, staffers and interns included allegations that Durham made sexual comments and inappropriate physical contact with women working at Legislative Plaza, according to Attorney General Herbert Slatery’s memorandum to Harwell.

The allegations outlined in Slatery’s memo also say Durham used his position of power to:

  • – Obtain personal contact information from women.
  • – Initiate contact about non-legislative matters and try to meet women alone.
  • – Involve alcohol in his interaction with women.
  • – Make comments of a sexual nature or engage in inappropriate physical contact.
  • What a sterling example of humanity. If humanity were composed of Dick Cheney and puddles of sick that had learned to walk around and talk.

    Here’s an example of his earlier work to defend religious freedom.

    Durham’s colleagues also questioned previous behavior that included writing a letter on House stationery on behalf of a former pastor who pleaded guilty to child porn possession and statutory rape of a 16-year-old parishioner.

    The GOP, party of moral clarity.

    Kinder, Küche, Kasich

    [ 73 ] February 23, 2016 |

    Gov. John Kasich, America’s Last Moderate Centrist He’s Just an Old Softy, Really Republican, has a cunning plan to become the next PotUS.

    The problem? All this modernization means there aren’t enough women sitting at home, waiting to enlist in the John Kasich Army.

    “How did I get elected?” Kasich asked the crowd, recalling his first run for state Senate in Ohio in 1978. “Nobody was — I didn’t have anybody for me. We just got an army of people, who, and many women, who left their kitchens to go out and go door to door and to put yard signs up for me. All the way back, when — you know, things were different. Now you call homes and everybody’s out working. But at that time, early days, it was an army of the women that really helped me get elected to the state Senate.”


    The solution? Make sure more ladies are at home with the kiddies!

    Ohio Gov. John Kasich signed a bill Sunday prohibiting the state from contracting for health services with any organization that performs or promotes abortions, blocking government funds to Planned Parenthood.

    Sheer. Centrist. Genius.

    (Alternate explanation – Kasich is a dick and calling him a centrist or a moderate shows a poor grasp of the meaning of words.)

    More readings from the book of JËB!

    [ 100 ] February 17, 2016 |

    Perpetual irrelevance engine Gov. Jul Bush has found another way to attack the politician he’s not running against and complain about poor women at the same time.

    “This is a place where I think President Obama missed a real golden opportunity, because he has a stable family, loving children – great, balanced children from what I can tell – a strong relationship with his wife, and he could have shown that as a model for others to emulate. And I don’t think he’s done it as much.”

    On first read I found this as comprehensible as his Look America I’m Armed! tweet. I mean, I don’t expect Gov. Jib to look at the froth-spouting howlers he’s trying to court and think maybe there’s a reason the Obamas don’t haul Sasha and Malia in front of the cameras as much as Jab would like. Neither do I expect it to cross his wobbly little particleboard desk that perhaps Sasha and Malia have expressed a desire to stay out of the limelight and their parents are honoring that wish. That would require introspection and empathy.

    (Personally, I have never once thought “Gee, I’d like to see more of the First Daughters,” either for my own personal edification or as part of some sort of grand example setting effort on the First Family’s part. I attribute this to the fact that I’m not a creep, a clown or a conservative. Create the Venn diagram at your own leisure.)

    But I read on and realized that putting on the po-face about Obama’s American Dad routine was Jam’s way of releasing the safety prior to firing a few rounds of “It’s Obama’s fault [certain] poor women continue to be single poor welfaristas when they could stop being poor if they got married.” Per CNN Transcription Services, Inc.:

    Bush, as he often does, said that marriage is one of the keys to keeping people out of poverty, pointing to federal welfare programs that he argues create incentives for single moms to stay single, because otherwise they may lose some benefits.

    Still gibberish, but I’ve heard it enough to translate it to English: In the dusty bowl of mouse turds Jug uses for a mind, if the Obamas had done enough of the strong black family thing in public, poor black women on welfare would rush into the streets and beg the one man who had avoided being the victim of a form of institutionalized racism that put him behind bars or underground to cure them of their wicked welfare-dependent ways with the power of holy matrimony. Thanks a lot Obama!

    And yes, the poverty-banishment marriage ritual can only be completed with a man. As Jot non-judgmentally observed, some family arrangements are less equal than others.

    Bush said that a family with a husband and wife provides the best environment to allow children to succeed.

    Supporting statistics are available upon receipt of requests postmarked on or before June 6, 1968.

    “There may be other forms that are equally as important and good. I’m not passing judgment,” he said. “To not try to strengthen family life, we do it at our peril.”

    Plans for strengthening family life are available upon receipt of requests post marked on or before April 15, 1921. And anyway the plan relied on President Obama and his family being good role models to their kind, so there’s no point asking Jaw to do anything about it. Back off. He’s got a gun and he’s not afraid to tweet it.

    As an aside, and perhaps my sensibilities have been blunted by close to 30 years of GOP nastiness, but Jog’s wee, sleekit, cow’rin, tim’rous beastie shtick skeeves me out as much as the Trumpenfuhrer, and almost as much as Ted “Oleomargarine” Cruz.

    Wisdom of Children

    [ 45 ] January 31, 2016 |

    Sen. Creeponaut, family man.

    Am I surprised that Ted “Spanky” Cruz is unable to recognize non-verbal and verbal cues that clearly state “Back. The hell. Away. Old man”?

    No. I am not.

    Stand for me, not by me. (Now a post-SOTU free for all.)

    [ 114 ] January 12, 2016 |

    Here’s the text of the speech. I guess this is now a post-SOTU open post type thing.
    Reason #I’ve lost count why I refuse to regard the Republican Party as a serious political party and look askance at those who think anyone should:

    Kim Davis — the Kentucky clerk who went to jail rather than grant marriage licenses to same-sex couples — and her lawyer Mathew Staver will attend the address as well, though neither of them is saying which member of Congress invited them.

    Staver told Politico, “It’s not about the member, per se, as it is about what the member wanted to represent.”


    The cowardliness and hatred that typifies the GOP?

    Oh wait, it must be that President Obama has reduced the Republican Party to a never-ending series of dick moves.

    In that case, they’re perfect.

    [Update – Thanks to Judas Peckerwood I know now the correct answer is “President Obama has reduced the Republican Party to a never-ending series of incompetent dick moves.” ]

    Hello Muddah. Hello FADA.

    [ 14 ] January 2, 2016 |

    It’s safe to say that onsatiable describes the Republicans’ lust for the Chicken of Queerphobia. Here is a complete list of things that will happen before the GOP cuts “Discriminate against Gay, Lesbian, Transgender & Queer Americans” from its to do list:

    1. Everything else.
    2. Even that.

    But if enough hints are dropped on their heads from a great enough height, Republicans can eventually realize that their current approach isn’t working. That’s when they get all sneaky like and start futzing about with packaging. Hence The First Amendment Defense Act, which is The Marriage & Religious Freedom Act scribbled over with a Sharpie marker and a new label slapped on top. One can imagine sly dogs Rep. R. Labrador and Sen. M. Lee cackling as they hit on that brilliant idea, perhaps after a few hits of the Sharpie.

    “Mwahahaha! Let’s see the DemoncRats object to the 1st Amendment! Say are you about done with that chicken?”

    Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio co-sponsored Protect Bigots and Bedroom Monitors v. 1 (introduced Dec. 2013) and v.2 (June 2015). And now Trump has said if Congress passes it, he’ll sign it.

    The Republican presidential candidate offered his qualified support for the First Amendment Defense Act in a letter published last week by The Pulse, a conservative media outlet.“If Congress considers the First Amendment Defense Act a priority, then I will do all I can to make sure it comes to my desk for signatures and enactment,” Trump writes.

    Another thing that hasn’t changed – Log Cabin Republicans. They’re still deep in denial hanging in there! President Gregory Angelo:

    … denied Trump’s letter represents a shift toward targeting the LGBT community, saying the bigger picture is he and other candidates refused to sign the pledge.
    “After a 2012 election cycle that was marred in many respects as ‘the primary of pledes,’ where demands were made of GOP presidential candidates to add their name to all sorts of anti-gay promissory notes, it’s encouraging to see the preponderance of the candidates in this cycle refusing to literally sign away their hopes of attaining this nation’s highest office by making outlandish promises to placate a overzealous fringe of the Party,” Angelo said.
    Preponderance = Bush, Graham, Paul and Trump, who said they support FADA but didn’t sign a pledge to pass it ASAP. Christie, Kasich, Pataki and Gilmore did not comment on whether they supported FADA.
    Maybe ultimately in the long run this particular bill doesn’t matter. It won’t pass because … something. Or if it does pass it won’t matter because … something else. But living in a country where supporting and encouraging hate is part of political discourse is a grind.
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