The boy who cried “Woke!” has identified another enemy of the American way: Black, brown and queer lefties who don’t have children.
Not that any Republican is a fan of Black, brown and queer lefties who do have children. But they are fans of thinking about their enemies’ sex lives and getting very mad about it. And they’re convinced that liberals have fewer children because of the drug-fueled abortion parties, or something. Also – this is just a guess – the ones with children hate people who don’t have children because they aren’t exactly happy themselves.
That’s why if Juris Doctorate Vance’s cunning plan to link demonstrations of fertility to votes – or something – doesn’t give his campaign a boost, we’ll know that it is absolutely, positively, irrefutably dead.
“The Democrats are talking about giving the vote to 16-year-olds,” Vance said. “Let’s do this instead. Let’s give votes to all children in this country, but let’s give control over those votes to the parents of the children.
This plan also reinforces the idea that children are mere appendages of the parent, another win in the Republicans’ eyes.
Asking if such a move would “mean that non-parents don’t have as much of a voice as parents” and “that parents get a bigger say in how democracy functions”, Vance said that though he expected criticism from “the Atlantic and the Washington Post and all the usual suspects”, the answer was yes.
Juris Doctorate’s 1 Baby 1 Ballot plan doesn’t make sense, but that doesn’t matter because no one who votes for him cares about details. Plus he employed the irrefutable technique of asking a question and then answering it by whining about mean liberal medias coming for him. Checkmate, libs!
That leaves him free to let words tumble out of his face, and boy are they some fucking dumb words.
“And why is this just a normal fact of American life, that the leaders of our country should be people who don’t have a personal indirect stake in it via their own offspring, via their own children and grandchildren,” Vance asked, noting that he was not referring to people who are unable to have children.
Vance assumes Democrats who don’t have children are able to do so because being a Republican also means making shit up and getting mad about it and then trying to pass a policy based on the imaginary shit.
“When you go to the polls in this country as a parent, you should have more power, you should have more of an ability to speak your voice in our Democratic republic, than people who don’t have kids,” he said. “Let’s face the consequences and the reality; if you don’t have as much of an investment in the future of this country, maybe you shouldn’t get nearly the same voice.”
Does this mean childless people who don’t have children will have to provide proof that they’re unable have children before they can run for office? Who knows! Will voters who can’t have children be able to get a Sorry Ur Barren sympathy ballot? Please, he hasn’t given that a single thought. Can this talking sack of flop sweat come up with an idea that is meaner and grosser before the election? If he doesn’t it won’t be because he didn’t try!