God Has Donated to LGM Today. Why Haven’t You?
By 
God evidently does not have access to cash, so he donated us the death of Bernard Kerik. That’s one less fascist corrupt scumbag in the world at least. He also gave me a personal donation, which is that I never have to hear about John Tyler having a living grandchild again, a piece of trivia that has annoyed me for years. That’s not because of the guy but because you couldn’t mention Tyler without people bringing this up in comments and since I write a lot of grave posts about 19th century politics, I got more than sick of hearing it. So me and God, we are buds, thanks to Martin Luther of course.
But you have access to cash. You can’t match God by eliminating a fascist scumbag (well, I guess you probably could, but I don’t recommend it). But you can do what God can’t, which is paying money for a site that actively laughs at the deaths of terrible humans. In fact, I presently have 64 obituaries ready to run at the time of the person’s death, with two more in various states of writing. A few of them are people I actually like, but mostly they are among America’s worst living humans, ranging from Ed Meese to Pat Buchanan and beyond.
C’mon now folks, you know these are worth an annual donation of at least $100 or upping that Patreon by $5 a month from what you did last year. This is gold. God thinks so too. He told me that giving to LGM at a generous monthly rate is a guarantee into Heaven. With enough donations, I can soon post that Norman Podhoretz obituary.