“Why should I write for scoundrels and hogs like you?” Let the LGM/Martin Luther Spinoff Begin!
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I wouldn’t usually merge my two favorite sites on Ye Olde Intertubes, but this is Fundraising Day! And my experience is that nothing raises more money than me insulting LGM readers. You think I’m joking and I am sort of, but also when I joined LGM in June 2011, LGM readership doubled in a year and don’t you think I let Farley forget that. Let’s just say that some of you love the ol’ give and take that I provide.
Now, I am a long-time respecter of true haters. And you know who was the all time hater? Yep, Martin Luther. Now, as it turns out, he’s such a legendary hater that there’s a Luther Insult Generator out there and I am generating 10 random Luther insults I can use to raise money, because I know how masochist you racists with your “We Believe in Science” signs in front of your house while sending your kids to as close to all-white or even better all-Asian schools as possible, are, just waiting for this ask. You’re just looking our for ol’ #1 there, the American Way!
So let’s play the Luther Insult Generator Game on this special, special day:
- “You are a Baal-zebub – that is, a man of flies”–This is how I feel about any commenter who is not sufficiently pro-union. Why do you hate working people? Are you too stupid to understand that without centering unions in our politics that we are bound to lose? I hope the flies give you yaws.
- “What devilish unchristian thing would you not undertake?”–There are a number of Washington Huskies fans here. Burn in hell. This includes DJW and Lemieux and Brockington. And don’t even get me started on Linneaus.
- “Your Hellishness.” Jared Polis reads this blog?
- “You are the ultimate scourges of the world, the Antichrist together with your sophists and bishops.” I’m inclined to save this for Matt Yglesias, to be honest.
- “All your holiness is only stench and filth, and it merits nothing but wrath and damnation.” Yep, this pretty well describes liberals who move for the schools. I mean you.
- “See what a pious hypocrite and unproductive weed you are.” Hello Connor and Maddie’s parents!
- “You have a perverted spirit that thinks only of murdering the conscience.” There are so many fucking prog rock fans among this blog’s readers. Can you just murder me instead of your own conscience?
- “Why should I write for scoundrels and hogs like you?” OMG Luther, just shoot this into my veins! I call this Tuesday at LGM baby!
- “Is not what I said before true, that you have eaten and drunk yourself full of devils, and so spew vainglorious devils out of your hellish gorge?” This is how I feel about commenters who defend Chuck Schumer.
- “What pig sties could compare in goings-on with you?” This one goes out to everyone who thought Joe Biden should stay in the election.
In conclusion, where’s the fucking money Lebowski?
Also, I love that Luther Insult Generator so much.