LGM Goals 2025
By 
Last year I set forth a series of goals for LGM in the 2024-25 season. These included:
- LGMFest 2025
- LGM brand bourbon
- LGM brand cigars
- LGM brand cigarettes
- The Great Kaufman Ziggurat
- Sending Loomis to space on one of Elon’s rockets
- LGM Alaskan Cruise
- Raising and funding an LGM Regiment for the Ukrainian Army
I regret to report that none of these endeavours have met with 100% success.
- Discussions with Billy McFarland’s people were conducted, but he was unavailable.
- This one actually proceeded a bit and we will return to it at some point. A candidate distillery has been identified.
- Tried to send Loomis to Cuba for research purposes, but he was flagged as a counter-revolutionary threat.
- Tobacco farm targeted for purchase hit by tornado, destroyed.
- Site for Ziggurat construction was also on tobacco farm.
- Loomis lackadaisical, unenthusiastic about required astronaut training. Follow up deal with Roscosmos fell through.
- Evidently this one is in Noon’s inbox, and we’re not sure we still have his active e-mail.
- Have learned to our deep regret that “Kentucky Colonel” does not imply actual military experience.
I would like to take responsibility for all of these failures. My personal preferences in this matter aside, however, it is clear that the failure lies with our donor class. Which is you.
Nevertheless, with sufficient resources it is my belief that we can make substantial progress on all of these goals within the next year. I am not averse to schemes that enable specific contributions to specific projects; in case, for example, you want to donate specifically to the goal of sending Loomis to space, simply record thus in the “notes” section of your Paypal or Venmo donation, or on the “Memo” line of your check.