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Awful Democrat of the Day

[ 63 ] June 9, 2014 |

asshole_farside
In a tradition Albany Democrats have long been in the process of perfecting, Virginia State Senator Phillip Puckett thinks that substantial number of Virginians should be denied care through the Medicaid expansion because he wants less electorally-accountable taxpayer-funded sinecures for himself and his daughter. I don’t know whether this is legal bribery, but it’s certainly ethically and morally odious.

…let me put it this way: it’s pretty amazing when in a dispute among venal Democrats Terry McAullife is the unambiguous good guy.

Shocking

[ 223 ] June 9, 2014 |

Turns out if you handle anti-government freaks with kids gloves and let them act violent with no consequences, they just turn up the violence:

Neighbors of the couple who ambushed two police officers Sunday in Las Vegas told local newspapers the pair had bragged about spending time at Cliven Bundy’s ranch during the standoff with the federal government earlier this year.

The two suspects, whose names have not yet been released, fatally shot two police officers who were having lunch at a CiCi’s Pizza restaurant before killing a third person at a nearby Wal-Mart. The female suspect then shot the male suspect and then herself in an apparent suicide pact.

Neighbors in an apartment complex where the two suspects lived said they “had a reputation for spouting racist, anti-government views” and boasted about their gun collection, according to the Las Vegas Sun. The newspaper reported that residents of the apartment complex who spoke about the suspects also brought up the couple’s relationship with Bundy Ranch, where the two bragged about being present for the standoff between militia members and the Bureau of Land Management.

SEK’s Game of Thrones recap, Season 4, Episode 9: “The Watchers on the Wall”

[ 104 ] June 9, 2014 |

In all seriousness:

Meh.

Podcast for last week’s episode — which was decidedly not meh – will go up later today.

What the Hell is Wrong With People?

[ 371 ] June 8, 2014 |

The occasions under which rape threats are appropriate are: Not ever. The contexts under which it is appropriate to mock or make light of rape threats are: None.

This has been another edition of Things People Should Know Without Being Told.

When Pledging Your Virginity to Your Dad Isn’t Creepy or Weird

[ 316 ] June 8, 2014 |

Ha ha ha! I’m just kidding–it’s always creepy and weird. And, I’m sorry, but these dads are creepy perverts.

TOTALLY NOT AWKWARD AND GROSS!

I mean, let’s just put our gross, creepy, pervert cards on the table. (BTW, if you’re in a gift-giving mood, please do not get the Gross, Creepy Pervert Dad set of cards for me; I already have them. THANKS, TONY PERKINS.)

 

UKIP Demands Fairer House of Lords Representation

[ 34 ] June 8, 2014 |

bnb-petitionI’m still writing my quadrennial World Cup predictions post, and this weekend (as are most when I’m in England) is all about the daughter, but I saw this and as it’s 6:30am and she’s not yet awake, I had to share:

“UKIP will “absolutely insist” on being granted new peers in the House of Lords, leader Nigel Farage has told his party at a conference.”

Lord Pearson of Rannoch, one of three UKIP members (erm, “peers”) in the House of Lords, is quoted as saying “Our democracy requires that we have more than three peers in the House of Lords when we’re getting 27 per cent of the vote in the latest national election.”

Lord Pearson used the word “democracy” in the same breath as “House of Lords”.

Cue Butthead: Er, democracy sucks.  Uh huh huh huh.  Lets go like call somebody and stuff (uh huh huh huh huh).

Donald Rumsfeld and Frederick Douglass

[ 33 ] June 7, 2014 |

I did not know that Don Rumsfeld owns the plantation where Frederick Douglass was sent to be broken in the 1830s. But boy is this appropriate:

The houses have names. Mr. Rumsfeld’s is Mount Misery and is just across Rolles Creek from a house called Mount Pleasant. On four acres, with four bathrooms, five bedrooms and five fireplaces, built in 1804, the Rumsfeld house is just barely visible at the end of a gravel drive.

Thomas M. Crouch, a broker at the Coldwell Banker office in town, says one legend attributes the name to the original owner, said to have been a sad and doleful Englishman. His merrier brother then built a house, and to put him on, Mr. Crouch supposes, named it Mount Pleasant.

But there is some historical gravity to the name, too. By 1833, Mount Misery’s owner was Edward Covey, a farmer notorious for breaking unruly slaves for other farmers. One who wouldn’t be broken was Frederick Douglass, then 16 and later the abolitionist orator. Covey assaulted him, so Douglass beat him up and escaped. Today, where the drive begins, Mount Misery seems a congenial place, with a white mailbox with newspaper delivery sleeves attached, a big American flag fluttering from a post by a split-rail fence and a tall, one-hole birdhouse of the sort made for bluebirds — although the lens in the hole suggests another function.

Does Rummy fantasize about this himself? Does he wish he could break the Iraqis who resisted U.S. occupation in 2004? Did he get off on Gitmo and Abu Ghraib based upon what happened on the land he owns in 1833? The mind reels.

To Kansas City!

[ 33 ] June 7, 2014 |

Tomorrow morning I leave for Kansas City for the 2014 Comparative Government AP reading.  This will be our last year in KC; next year we’ll shift to Salt Lake.  Accordingly, I’m going to try to do as many KC things as I can in my last year, including another visit to the World War I Museum,dinner at Arthur Bryant’s (which is just better than Oklahoma Joe’s, and has fewer hipsters), and a visit to the Negro League Baseball Museum.

Work, tragically, will continue to be work.  The time when one could shirk duties on the excuse “I’m not even in the state!” has, sadly, passed.

Cape Cod Open Thread

[ 108 ] June 7, 2014 |

I don’t think there has ever been a day since I’ve blogged here that there were zero posts. I guess we are starting to have lives. But people need somewhere to complain about this and that. So allow this comment thread to fill that function. I am on Cape Cod for the weekend. Doing normal things out here– lobster rolls, wearing my ascot, playing touch football with the Kennedys, that sort of thing.

Justice in the Badger State

[ 234 ] June 6, 2014 |

At least for the time being:

This afternoon U.S. District Court Judge Barbara Crab overturned Wisconsin’s ban on marriages by gay and lesbian couples. The ban, which was approved by voters in 2006, is now opposed by the majority of Wisconsin voters. A recent Marquette University Law School poll found 55 percent of registered voters statewide now favor allowing gay and lesbian couples to marry, while 37 percent oppose it and 6 percent say they do not know.

Presidential

[ 134 ] June 6, 2014 |

True presidential behavior from the only progressive alternative in 2016.

Friday Night Creature Feature: Ploompyscruffers

[ 72 ] June 6, 2014 |

One of the reasons I steal so much of my material from third-party sources is because I am lazy a delicate flower with a beautiful mind, and I intend to stay delicate and flowery. I depend on the kindness of internet pals to keep me knee-deep in dafuq. Think of it like this: If I want some flowers, I don’t reach into a thorny rose bush with an ungloved hand. No. Instead I grab somebody else’s ungloved hand and thrust it into the bush, screaming “Get me some fucking roses!” People like Roy Edroso are my unpaid, ungloved rose-pickers. I admit it.

Another way to look at is as that while I sometimes find wingnuttery absurdly funny, it’s often depressing, so I like to read this stuff through a veil of humor and intelligence. That really helps the medicine go down the vaseline-smeared lens. I’d like to mix some more metaphors in here, but I think the more melodramatic writers at NRO are hoarding them.

So, anyway, here’s a little rosebud for you: I’m going to call this rosebud a “ploompyscruffer.” What’s a ploompyscruffer? Picture the most vile, disgusting, hideous creature you can imagine. Then imagine it 30 years younger and wearing a smirk and a tie. See, the wonderful thing about ploompyscruffers is that they can be anything you want them to be. They can be any wild, weird thing that’s rattling around in your mind, which, unlike mine, is not unsullied and beautiful. My ploompyscruffer is Mathew Continetti, and the cool thing about Mathew Continetti is that he beget his own ploompyscruffer. In that he ass-fabricated an entire hypothetical conversation between President Obama and various hypothetical bigwigs. In fairness to Mathew Continetti, his ploompyscruffer is magnificent, much more rich in detail than mine could ever be:

I like to imagine the conversations at these parties. How are they structured? Is there any awkwardness at the beginning? Does it take a few drinks to get things going? I imagine that there is plenty of hesitant and anodyne talk about children, about movies, about basketball, about the weather. When the discussion turns to domestic or foreign affairs, though, the clichés must be stifling: How can the Republicans be so obstructionist and rude and luddite, what happened to the nice moderate conservatives they used to have in the Eisenhower and George H.W. Bush administrations, have you seen the latest essays by Ezra Klein and Michael Tomasky and Ta-Nehisi Coates, who cares what the media says, E.J. Dionne says you are doing A-OK, what’s it like to hold the nuclear football, have you been to Eric Ripert’s newest restaurant, weren’t the Afghan and Iraq wars terrible mistakes, people have got to recognize America can’t go its own way in today’s integrated, global, flat world, the Wire is Shakespearean, what are you going to do about the polar bears, we need to appreciate the value of other cultures, America doesn’t have such a clean record itself you know, my son just took a job in Dubai, wasn’t Sheryl Sandberg brilliant in her City Colleges of Chicago commencement speech, let’s touch base on the new youth outreach project Mark Zuckerberg is standing up, do you watch Mad Men, politics is a relay race and we just have to keep going until we hand the baton to the next person, where do you come up with all of those beautiful words, we leave for Beijing next week, Putin doesn’t understand how we do things in the twenty-first century, God that Bibi is so unreasonable, who are your favorite authors, it’s time for a real conversation about race, isHomeland like real life, this is the sushi place to go to in Los Angeles, you are a real role model for young men not only in this country but all around the world, I watch House of Cards but my wife prefers Orange is the New Black. … The earnestness, the posing, the sentimentality, the affected and knowing tones, the blather, the sanctimony, the insinuation, the phoniness, the small talk, above all the endless putting on airs before the most gigantic ego known to mankind—that wine had better be good.

Now, that’s how you ploompyscruff, folks!

ploompy·scruff [ploompy-scruff] 
noun
1. a legendary animal combining features of animal and human form or having the forms of various animals in combination, as a centaur, griffin, or sphinx.
2. any creature so ugly or monstrous as to frighten people.
3. any animal or human grotesquely deviating from the normal shape, behavior, or character.
4. a person who excites horror by wickedness, cruelty, etc.
5. Mathew Continetti

ploompy·scruff [ploompy-scruff] 
verb
1. to pull things out of your ass, wholesale

In other news
, my son can levitate. Pretty cool.


…this young.

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