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Now You’ve Gone Too Far

[ 115 ] November 20, 2014 |


I’ve seen lots of ridiculous things attributed to feminism, but this ludicrous. I did NOT leave my husband or kill my child. I did, however, leave my child in a liquor store and practice witchcraft on my husband. He is now a lesbian. A lesbian frog. I am working on destroying capitalism, but it is taking more time than expected.

There Are No Moderates in #GamerGate

[ 86 ] November 20, 2014 |

I found this subreddit about leaving (or rejecting) #GamerGate absolutely fascinating. The upshot is that there are no moderates left in GG, which is why it’s becoming increasingly harder to pretend that this is anything more than just a reactionary anti-woman movement.


Occasions When It Is Appropriate to Wear a Shirt with Naked Women on It

[ 203 ] November 17, 2014 |


  1. You are attending a show celebrating pin-up art.
  2. You are in your basement playing pool.
  3. You have recently become a porn director.
  4. You have recently become a porn actor.
  5. You are the owner of a bakery that specializes in erotic cakes.
  6. You are invited to a tacky Hawaiian shirt party which will culminate in a contest to see who has the tackiest tacky Hawaiian shirt and you are not going to let Steve win again.
  7. You are naked, masturbating to that Woman’s Day magazine with Bonnie Hunt on the cover again and your friend calls and says he is standing outside your house and someone has rudely set him on fire–could you please come and pour some water on him? Not having time to plan your fire-fighting outfit, you grab the nearest articles of clothing…which just happen to be jeans and a shirt with naked ladies on it.

Any questions?

What Were You Linking?!

[ 150 ] November 17, 2014 |

Did you know that LGMer’s frequently email me with links they think I (or you, the readership) might find interesting? Well, they do. And I thank them for that.

  • tsam wants you to read about the KKK in Ferguson. Probably because he is a mean person who wants to ruin your lunch.
  • N_B wants you to look at this funny video about geek-gatekeeping. Probably because he is a  humorless, sex-negative, fatty-fat-fat feminist who is mean and likes to make out with this Andrea Dworkin body pillow.
  • Origami Isopod wants you to check out the abortion-positive 1 in 3 campaign. Probably because she is a mean feminist who has gotten pregnant 70 kajillion times just so she could infanticide all her precious snowflake babies. At the very least, she has probably written dinosaur erotica on the topic. “I Had Rex’s Dino-Baby Just So I Could Kill It.”
  • A tweep of my mine wants us to see how INCREDIBLY COOL these animatronic dinosaurs are. Probably because he is a nice guy who likes dinosaurs. AND ALSO ABORTING DINOSAUR BABIES.
  • I want you to read about #shirtgate because I don’t have time to write about it now. (I will soon.) Please start reading here and here. Uh, I think we all know why I want you to read that stuff. (HINT: I am mean.)


The Other, Grosser McCain

[ 109 ] November 14, 2014 |

Go, Gamergate, go!

May I tell you what the most amusing thing about right-wing conservatives hitching their wagons to this odious movement is? They have no idea what they’re talking about. They’re not familiar with the details of Gamergate at all. They’re not familiar with its origins. They just know that a bunch of angry boys are “winning” and “standing up” to evil feminists. And, because they’re mindless reactionaries, that’s all they need to know to know which side they’re on. Still more delicious is the the fact the longer this drags on the more obvious it becomes that this was never anything more than an excuse to shit on women.

The comment section is comedy platinum.

That said, it doesn’t matter how many back pats the SJWs give the gaming industry, no one is going to by a video game, the object of which is to have your character curl up in a fetal position after drinking a bottle of cheap sangria, listen to Tracy Chapman albums and weep about how misogynistic society is. “Achievement Unlocked! Unlimited Free Spermicide w/ Titanium Diaphragm!”


Apparently, Gamergate is such an unstoppable force of nature it can time-travel, as–according to this comment–it’s clearly playing out in 1991.

EDIT: I should also add that the “SJW’s” have been making rhetorical mincemeat of the Gaters from the get-go, and that everyone outside its bubble–to include celebrities and celebrities in the gaming world–hates #GamerGate. It is, by any measure, a miserable failure of a movement.

A Unicorn Industrialist Made Me Gay

[ 81 ] November 13, 2014 |

Origami Isopod wants you to look at these book titles. Not I, I find it entirely unfunny. As you know, I’m not in to this sort of thing, being as mature and dignified as I am.


* A Billionaire Dinosaur Forced me Gay
* Cyclops Forced me Gay
* Forced Gay by Aliens
* Robohound Forced me Gay
* Brachiosaurus Made me Gay
* Dark Pegasus Made me Gay
* Gay Lord of the Orcs
* Bigfoot’s Side Piece

Creating Safe Spaces for Straight White Men

[ 69 ] November 13, 2014 |

#GamerGate continues to attract the internet’s best and brightest. Walking colostomy bag and rapist, Roosh, has created a safe space for straight, white, male gamers. But it’s not all bad news…because “attractive” women and homosexuals are welcome to comment on articles (presumably they may not write them…because, seriously, who gives a shit what bitches and homos have to say about stuff?)

Our goal is simple: create a safe space for heterosexual males who play video games. We won’t exclude homosexuals or attractive women from commenting on our articles, and we sincerely hope they find value in what we have to say, but understand that this site will be written by male gamers for male gamers.

I think this site is destined to be the best thing on the internet if only because the screening process for admitting homosexuals and attractive women is probably gonna be really interesting and fun. 

Also, I’d just like to note the obvious: that–as someone with severe impulse control problems–I have not and imagine will not live up to my calls to ignore #GamerGate. I mean, I’m starting to wean myself off, but watching this car wreck has been as addicting as any drug.

I Was a Liberal until Kennedy Drowned Journalistic Ethics

[ 128 ] November 8, 2014 |

My name is bspencer and I’m a dirty liar. A few days back I wrote a florid post saying I was taking a break from #GamerGate because it was taking its toll on my psyche. That was true. And I did take a break. But it was a short one, and after a couple of days I was back at the hashtag, getting my fix like some huffer who’d just stumbled upon an unattended pile of metallic Krylon.

The truth is I can’t quit #GamerGate. 

A couple weeks ago my son and I were watching a series about reptiles. It was hosted by David Attenborough. During the intro, there’s a quick cut of Attenborough watching two huge tortoises mating. It’s weird. You wonder how he’s feeling. Like…does he feel awkward? Is he stifling a laugh? And thinking about that cut made me think about #GamerGate. Watching #GamerGate is like watching reptiles awkwardly mate–you don’t know whether to laugh or be disgusted. You don’t know if you want to keep watching or turn away. But somewhere along the way, I decided to be GG’s David Attenborough: I decided to stay and watch.

I’ve combed through that hashtag searching for signs that I am even 1% wrong about its inhabitants. But I’m not. I’m 1000% right. It’s a movement based entirely on driving feminist women and feminist allies out of gaming and shutting up feminist women who critique games and game culture.

The best thing about GG’s longevity is that its supporters–who are an incredibly unwieldy lot–have given up the pretense that’s about “ethics in journalism.”  On any given day, every other tweet says in language even GGer’s can understand that the goal is to drive feminists and “Social Justice Warriors” out of gaming and gaming criticism.

Everyone knows it’s a cesspool. Everyone outside its bubble sees it the way I do: as a daycare gone rogue with toddlers running around smearing the walls with poop. Everyone who’s cool hates #GamerGate. Everyone who matters hates #GamerGate. But like many toddlers GGer’s think any attention is good attention, so the daycare continues to teem with excitable, poo-smearing toddlers. I think it may be time for that to stop. I think that we all need to just stop paying attention to GG. Because if we do, soon it will just be a room full of toddlers sending nasty emails to Gawker babbling to each other and proudly showing off  their baffling Microsoft Paint graphics poop-drawings.

I promise this time I’ll go first. I promise I’ll stop giving it attention. Then maybe the toddlers of GG will finally get tired and go down for their naps. Boy, do they need one.

Creature Feature: Dragons, Devils, Douchey Gargoyles and Apatosaurus Toes

[ 59 ] November 2, 2014 |

Oh my!

I hope everyone had a safe/happy/silly/scary Halloween.

This weekend I fraternized with a dragon:


B1XfpHtIgAAPcYdI held an Apatosaurus toe (!!!!):

toe!And I made some gargoyles into douches:


What did you do?

A Bad Obsession

[ 37 ] October 30, 2014 |

This will probably be the last post I write about #GamerGate for awhile. The truth is it’s taken up way too much of my time and way too much space in my brain. It reminds of the time I read an article in the Boston Globe about the busting of a ring of pedophiles. I actually could not make it all the way through the article (because it was so horrifying). But it still took up a lot of space in my brain, too much space. It was overshadowing things that were good–a moment of relaxation here or there, the enjoyment of my family and my art–and replacing those things with a sense of horror and despair.

#GamerGate, in many ways, has affected me in the same way. There have been times I have laughed, but it’s always been a bitter laugh because (moment of soul-baring honesty here) it depresses me that there are so many aggressively stupid knuckle-dragging, pants-shitting, fit-throwing, spittle-flecking little asshole misogynists in the world. I mean, sure, Gators are hilarious, but it’s a dark kind of hilarious, and the whole ugly… thing has finally taken it’s toll.

So why do I keep talking about it? Because I don’t know what winning means to these little butt boils, but I do know that I don’t want them winning. I don’t want these keyboard toddler-warriors learning the lesson that if they fling enough shit, throw enough fits and threaten enough women that they can cow corporations/people into doing their bidding (whatever that amorphous, bizarre bidding is). The idea of a GG “victory” makes me want to punch holes in my drywall.

So I am–you may all praise Satan now–taking a small respite from #GamerGate. Gosh, I’ve got a piece to finish and a Creature Feature to plan. But before I let you all take your Silkwood showers, I leave you with this: GGer’s are just–by and large–horrible human beings.

And the Winner Is…

[ 40 ] October 29, 2014 |

Thanks to everyone who participated in my “Actually Ethics” meme contest. I loved all your entries, but ultimately someone had to win the contest, and someone did: Sly. I don’t know why, this just made me giggle:


Thanks for playing, Sly. I’m proud to put this in my twitter timeline.

They’re Just Trying to Make It What They Want

[ 81 ] October 28, 2014 |

I’d like for this to be the last post I write about Gamergate. I could be being optimistic, but I just feel like we may be saying “goodbye and good riddance” to it soon. Yesterday, I checked the hashtag’s activity and the most popular tweets belonged to people who are anti-gamergate. Not the case today. But I saw yesterday’s activity as a good sign that perhaps GG was past its sell by date. Let’s face it: everybody who  matters is anti-GG. Prominent voices in gaming and popular culture have denounced GG because they recognize it as the thinly-veiled excuse for misogyny that it is. And, honestly, I just don’t think most of the Gamergaters are even trying anymore. The linked article is about some GG dead-enders and their get-together at a strip club. There they railed about Social Justice Warriors. So, to tally: two token women, ignored strippers and lotsa arglebargle about Social Justice Warriors. Gosh, it’s almost like Gamgergate is about silencing women who game or have opinions about gaming rather than ethics in journalism.

Ken White has a good take on this mess. Most of his points are incisive, though he tries to “both sides” things a bit. But the tinfoil-hatters in his comment section make it a fun read. My favorite was from a gamer (I guess) who–purporting to speak for all gamers (I guess)–huffed that “gamers don’t like identity politics.” OK, but…MANY OF GAMERGATE’S CRITICS ARE…ALSO GAMERS. YOU F*CKING DUMBSHIT.

I will be so glad when I don’t have to post about this anymore.

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