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What Is this…Steven Ooniverse?

[ 67 ] August 24, 2016 |

I’ve just recently discovered “Steven Universe” so I reckon it’s roughly a decade old. Anyway, I have thoughts. What are yours?

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A Few Links this Sunday Morning

[ 211 ] August 21, 2016 |

  • It’s my opinion that if you have a bunch of garbage followers on twitter (you know who you are, brocialist-attractors) there’s probably a decent chance that you yourself are garbage. Similarly, if you’re someone like Trump who has the support of racists, it’s likely that you yourself are–at the very least–garbage.
  • Damien Walter read some of the Rabid Puppy Hugo Award entries and found them, well, let’s say, lacking. John C. Wright, ladies and gentlemen: “Rhadamanthus said, ‘There is a tension between the need for unity and the need for individuality created by the limitations of the rational universe. Chaos theory produces sufficient variation in events, that no one stratagem maximises win-loss ratios. Then again, classical causality mechanics forces sufficient uniformity upon events, that uniform solutions to precedented problems is required. The paradox is that the number or the degree of innovation and variation among win-loss ratios is itself subject to win-loss ratio analysis.” I’m not sure if he actually conveyed any information there besides “I (presumably) know this stuff.” Seriously, that is really really really awful writing. But that shouldn’t surprise me because his columns are soul-crushingly awful, too.
  • Trolls are terrible. News at 11.
  • “Enjoying something lots of other people like is uncool,” area man says. Speaking of which…who here is watching “Stranger Things?”
  • Lance Mannion on Trump and economic anxiety. Lance was challenged by one of my twitter followers. He asked–in short–why it was important to make Trump’s supporters so difficult to empathize with. I didn’t butt into the conversation, but if I had I would have said there are limits to my empathy. For instance, I have a hard time empathizing with people who are nakedly racist, misogynistic, homophobic and xenophobic (which so many Trump supporters are). And I would also say that my empathy begins and end with this: I vote for and support leadership and policies I know will benefit these assholes…even if they don’t know it. I feel that’s where my obligation to these people ends.

Next: The WSJ Interviews Alex Jones for His Insights on the Election

[ 91 ] August 20, 2016 |

OMFG!!!!

 

James Taranto–yes, that James Taranto–interviewed Scott Adams for The Wall Street Journal. Yes, the once-esteemed (by somebody, somewhere, I imagine) paper is now conducting interviews with has-been internet MRA weirdos and passing it off as journalism. How the righty have fallen!

Spoiler Alert: Adams still thinks Trump can win!

 

“The moment I realized there was something special was during the first debate,” he tells me over coffee in the kitchen of his spacious suburban home. “It was the Rosie O’Donnell moment.” Moderator Megyn Kelly had confronted Mr. Trump with the key premise of what Mr. Adams calls “a gotcha question of the highest order”: “You’ve called women you don’t like ‘fat pigs,’ ‘dogs,’ ‘slobs,’ and ‘disgusting animals.’ ”
ENLARGE
Photo: Ken Fallin

“I asked myself: How would anybody else have answered?” Mr. Adams recalls. “If you denied it, it would look weak. If you embraced it—you really couldn’t. There was nothing you could say. He was completely painted into a corner by his past comments. No one could get out of that. And then he did what no one could do—he got out of it. He said: ‘Only Rosie O’Donnell.’ ”

If you watched the debate, you probably remember that it worked. Mr. Adams can explain why. Mr. Trump invoked a visual image, “your most powerful persuasion sense.” The image was well-known, “and it was a person, which is the best visual of all, because the brain is just attuned to faces and people. And he just drew all the energy out of the room, sucked all of it up, balled it all together, and just moved it over to this Rosie O’Donnell joke, and it just deflated the entire topic.”

Underneath it all, Trump is a super-sekrit genius because he makes nasty impromptu jokes about how ugly Rose O’Donnell is.

 

Was it mere luck? Mr. Adams considered the possibility but concluded after further observation that it was a matter of sophisticated technique. On his Dilbert.com blog, he started analyzing Mr. Trump’s tactics through what he calls the “Master Persuader filter.”

Yes,  using “Master Persuader Filter” certainly is a sophisticated technique. It’s also Tenacious D’s worst song.

What seemed like madness to others, Mr. Adams recognized as method. Those cruel but seemingly random nicknames Mr. Trump gives his rivals? Mr. Adams calls them “linguistic kill shots” and says their purpose is not just to display dominance but to change the way voters think.

Now all I can think about is a bunch of kindergarteners running around using “linguistic kill shots” and suddenly elementary school seems like a much scarier place.

 

If David French Were Running for President He Wouldn’t Have Time to Warn Us about the New Cuckllenials

[ 407 ] August 18, 2016 |

MMA fighter, David French

 

David French read a study about grip strength, retired to his manly fainting couch and typed (banging hard on his keyboard LIKE A MAN) this out on his manly laptop.

Yes, I know it’s only one study. Yes, I know that grip strength is but one measure of overall physical fitness. But as the Post noted, these findings are consistent with other studies showing kids are less fit today.

But why would he write a column about Americans being unfit in general when could have a very specific public tantrum regarding how he’s the only manly man left on the planet?

But none of my nerdiness relieved me of the responsibility of learning how to be a man — a protector, builder, and fixer.

When men talk about being protective I notice they always leave out whom they’re supposed to be protecting us from. Pssssst: It’s from other men. Men have a stake in protecting toxic masculinity because if they ever have to protect a woman from another man that makes them important, that gives them a job. It’s unbelievably sick and I’m not even sure they understand that that’s the world they’re trying to preserve. Nevermind that women can be protectors, builders and fixers, too. *long sigh*

In the age of instant oil change (why entrust your car’s health to your 16-year-old?), ubiquitous lawn services, and on-demand handymen, privileged kids simply don’t have the same, naturally occurring opportunities to learn to work with their hands and to develop physical strength. In the age of zero-tolerance school-disciplinary policies — where any kind of physical confrontation is treated like a human-rights violation — they have less opportunity to develop toughness. Today’s young males don’t have common touchstones for what it’s like to grow up to be a man.

Yes, surely every boy should experience the touchstones of taking care of a car…or being mercilessly bullied. These are both unalloyed goods.

Our culture strips its young men of their created purpose and then wonders why they struggle.

Their purposes being to have violent confrontations with other men, change oil, and endure bullying? That all SOUNDS GREAT. Good man-plan, David French!

It wonders why men — who are built to be distinctive from women — flail in modern schools and workplaces designed from the ground-up for the feminine experience.

Totes McGoats. Workplaces today are basically just feminine hygiene commercials encased in brick and mortar. It’s ALL about the women. Just ask all the women who work at FOX news.

Also, here’s some dipshit at The Federalist who’s yammering on about boobs and male productivity.

The Nightly Show Has Been Cancelled

[ 90 ] August 16, 2016 |

*sniff* Onward and upward, guys.

 

 The Nightly Show has been cancelled. I’m sad. I’m not sure the show ever quite found its footing, and the panel discussions–depending on the day–could be downright painful to endure. But Larry Wilmore is a national treasure, plain and simple and I will dearly miss Mike Yard (my favorite conspiracy nut), Grace Parra, Rory Albanese and Jordan Carlos. I’ll also miss the fact that the show gave a voice to women, people of color, women of color. It was, in its own small way, groundbreaking. Here’s to bigger and better things for the entire cast. I’m rooting for you guys.

These Links Are Totally Like Lucy in “Lucy”

[ 47 ] August 15, 2016 |

Let’s Slow Cook this Weekend

[ 64 ] August 12, 2016 |

While I adore my crockpot and the idea of slow-cooking in general, crockpot recipes that I want to make again and again are actually rather rare. Truth is too many crockpot recipes rely on ingredients like canned “cream of” soups, which are a no-go for me. So I treasure a truly good slow-cooker recipe. Here are a couple of crockpot dishes I thought our readership might find interesting.

First up is my Asian-inspired short ribs. I posted the recipe–chaotically and sloppily–on twitter, but several of my tweeps expressed real enthusiasm about the ribs, so I thought I’d neatly lay out the recipe here, for everyone to see. As always, I do not measure ingredients so amounts are approximations.

 

Asian-Inspired Beef Short Ribs

  • 6-8 beef short ribs, seasoned with salt and pepper
  • 2-3 large carrots, peeled and cut into long chunks
  • 2 onions, cut into large wedges
  • 1 cup beef broth
  • 2 tbsp. soy sauce
  • 1 1/2 tbsp. brown sugar
  • 1 tsp. Chinese 5 Spice Powder
  • 1/4 cup sherry
  • 4 garlic cloves, minced
  • 1 inch fresh ginger, minced
  • 1 tsp. rice wine or sherry vinegar
  • 1 tbsp. Sriracha or Sambal Oelek
  • 3-4 stalks (?) baby bok choy, quartered
  • 1/3 cup chopped, fresh cilantro
  • fresh lime juice for serving
  1. Heat oil in browning slow cooker or dutch oven. Brown ribs on at least two sides. Remove from pot.
  2. Throw in (and season…lightly) the onions, carrots, garlic and ginger and spice and stir until fragrant, a minute or two.
  3. Put ribs and veggies in the crockpot. Stir in the broth, soy sauce, sherry, and cover.
  4. Cook on low for 5-7 hours until ribs and veggies are fork-tender, less time if you cook on high. (I overcooked the veg a bit.)
  5. Stir in the baby bok choy. Cook for 1/2 to 1 hour more, ’til it wilts a bit.
  6. Skim some of the fat from the top of the pot. (It will be be quite fatty.)
  7. Stir in the Sriracha and vinegar.
  8. Serve over hot cooked rice, with cilantro and fresh-squeezed lime juice.

Next up is a recipe from Food Network Magazine, Slow Cooker Indian Butter Chicken.

  • 3 pieces naan bread
  • 1 red onion, halved and thinly sliced
  • 1 pound baby red-skinned potatoes, halved or quartered if large
  • 1 Fresno chile or red jalapeno pepper, halved lengthwise, seeded and sliced
  • 1 small bunch cilantro, leaves and tender stems separated, chopped
  • 1 1/2 pounds skinless, boneless chicken thighs (about 6)
  • 1 tablespoon garam masala
  • Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper
  • 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into pieces
  • 1 cinnamon stick
  • 1 15 -ounce can tomato sauce
  • 1/2 cup heavy cream
  • Kosher salt

Crumble 1/2 piece naan into coarse crumbs; transfer to a 6-quart slow cooker. Add the red onion, potatoes, chile and cilantro stems. Arrange the chicken thighs in a single layer over the vegetables and sprinkle with the garam masala, 3/4 teaspoon salt and a few grinds of pepper. Dot with the butter and add the cinnamon stick. Pour the tomato sauce over the top. Cover and cook on low, 7 hours.

Uncover and switch to the warm setting or turn off. Gently stir in the heavy cream, breaking the chicken into large chunks; let stand 10 minutes. Stir in the cilantro leaves and season with salt. Serve with the remaining naan.

I cannot say enough good things about this dish. It is rich and savory and so fragrant it’s almost perfumey. The scent of fresh cilantro stems cooking away with cinnamon and Garam Masala will drive you wild all day. Folks, this one’s a keeper. I’ve made it four times already. Yup, that’s how good it is.

 

Christmas in November

[ 165 ] August 5, 2016 |

I wasn’t joking about Trumpers thinking that a Trump presidency would usher in some sort of anti-PC new world order. If you read my earlier entry about an Atlantic interview with a young Trump supporter and you’ve continued to keep tabs on the election, it’s not hard to see a pattern emerging–Trump voters very much believe that a Trump presidency will create some sort of sea change in the nation. People will say “Merry Christmas” again despite never having stopped. Brave men will be free to say all manner of disgusting things about women, immigrants, POC, and LGBT citizens and other folks will stop them in the street thank them for their comedy manna, probably with patriotic blowjobs. Cats and dogs will quit co-habitating. It’ll be Trump Heaven.

I’ve never been entirely clear on how they think this will be accomplished, short of Trump instituting actual fascist rule and/or martial law. I guess that’s a pesky detail they’ve yet to work out in their brain proximities. I don’t recall liberals sitting meekly on the sidelines when George W. Bush sort of won in 2000. I don’t recall conservatives behaving like good little citizens when the Kenyan Usurper changed the White House into the Black House. Actually, I seem to recall conservatives losing their damn minds for eight years straight. I remember the creation of the Tea Party. I remember Sarah goddamn Palin being a thing for far longer than 15 minutes.

Any of you guys figured out how the new United States of Trump will work? Because I haven’t a clue.

Rallies Gone Wild

[ 224 ] August 4, 2016 |

WARNING: Some of this content is highly offensive and NSFW.

I’ve known for awhile that a Trump presidency–even an impending Trump presidency–means something pretty profound to his supporters. To his supporters it means the rules have changed; that they’re in charge. And when they’re in charge political correctness–in other words, just showing everyone a modicum of respect–will be thrown out the window. And so they’ll be free to let their freak flags fly. The message of Trump supporters to immigrants, people of color, feminists and LGBT folks is this: “Be afraid, be very afraid. We’re the gatekeepers now…and you’re not welcome here.” It’s horrifying.

Read more…

American Psycho

[ 129 ] August 3, 2016 |

Actual photo of bspencer

Brett Easton Ellis has apparently been taking notes from Scott Adams and decided “Yes. I like this guy. I like where this guy’s going.” and decided to follow him there. Though with more perhaps some more Ellis-esque panache. I’m squealing with bspencerian delight.

To pretend that looks or that hotness, whether you’re a guy or a girl, shouldn’t make you popular, is one of those sad politically correct stances that make you question the validity, the reality of politically correct thinking, and a few journalistic reactions to the LA Weekly piece. This ode to Sky Ferreira may not have been that well written, but it is clearly written honestly by, yes, most definitely a man, who is, yes, most definitely looking at a woman he desires, and writing about that desire. What’s wrong with that? Even if it overshadows what he thinks about her music, so what if he’s honest about objectifying her?

Oh, clearly you didn’t think the little snowflake justice warriors everywhere, from the LAist to Flavorwire to Jezebel to Teen Vogue to Vulture, were going to let this innocuous piece go unnoticed without having a hissy fit? Oh yes, most deliciously, the little snowflakes got so pissed off and were just sooo unbelievably offended by this piece, that they had to denounce it. Oh, little snowflakes, when did you all become grandmothers and society matrons, clutching your pearls in horror at someone who has an opinion about something, a way of expressing themselves that’s not the mirror image of yours, you snivelling little weak-ass narcissists? The high moral tone from social justice warriors is always out of scale with what they are indignant about. When did this hideous and probably nerve-wracking way of living begin transforming you into the authoritarian language police, with your strict set of little rules and manufactured outrage, demanding apologies from every sandwich or salad you didn’t like?

Eeeeexcellent.

All Scott Adams All the Time Links

[ 55 ] August 2, 2016 |

Please enjoy this list of links that was probably BUILT BY MEN.

 

Scott Adams 2020!!

[ 119 ] July 28, 2016 |

As some of you may know, Scott Adams is voting for Hillary Clinton because his tinfoil-ensconced head is telling him to. But his heart is clearly with Trump.

Or maybe he has political aspirations of his own? I figure it’s too late for him to run this year…but think of all the topics he can master in four years!!! Scott Adams 2020!!!!

  • PZ Meyers asks Scott Adams to “stop teabagging science.” My favorite part: “But it takes a special kind of wanker to see other people getting their due and think that acknowledging other people’s achievements somehow diminishes your own. Scott Adams must be fun at children’s birthday parties; he probably goes around reminding the kids that he has birthday parties, too, and he’s had more of them and they’re better than this stupid party.”
  • More PZ Meyers. Here he’s talking about the happy subject of white supremicist group, White Lives Matter.
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