Author: vacuumslayer

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If I were Trump’s doctor I would just go balls to the wall with it: The President is in robust health. His heart is strong. His blood is 60% wolf and 40% stripper sweat. His dick can lift 50 lbs. Don’t bother going to Tulsa cuz the gun show’s right under this stud’s shirtsleeves. What […]

Cleek, Meet Starfish

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In General
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On October 25, 2019
Recently I came across a tweet by an account I follow on twitter that said that lately even the most benign, banal observations come across as insults to Trump. It’s honestly quite remarkable. I call it Starfish Law. Share

We Like Cletus

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On October 21, 2019

BREAKING NEWS: A professor named Evan Mandery went on a Cletus Safari and found he liked Cletus. A lot. “I’ll give you an A,” I say. “All you have to do is designate someone to get an F.”

Game of No’s

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On May 20, 2019

I was happy with the finale of Game of Thrones. I know it’s fashionable to trash the show now, but I’m not fashionable. I enjoyed the last episode because it felt like all the characters w

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Haake Take

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In General
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On April 17, 2019
Obviously nobody in the Democratic Party should go on Fox News because it functions as propaganda arm for the Trump administration, but, beyond that, nobody should go on the network lest it lend credence to galaxy-brained takes like this one: The giddy, breathless reactions to Bernie’s appearance on Fox were incredibly amusing. To the extent […]

Heavy Rotation

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On March 30, 2019

I use Amazon Music as my main music player and aggregator these days. I’m always looking for new music to add to my library and recently it recommended Janelle Monae’s “Dirty Compute

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