Someone please check on Dinesh.
We've essentially let you do this by allowing you a career. https://t.co/Jv65nMJfJM
— bspencer (@vacuumslayer) May 20, 2016
Trying to get your kids interested cooking? Bring out a hand blender I guess. pic.twitter.com/Cfop2Z86uF
— bspencer (@vacuumslayer) May 17, 2016
I think this should be required reading for…everyone.
If this prospect terrifies you, this proves you are human. Congratulations. I won’t spoil the surprise for you by riffing too much, but I will say I cannot understand what the purpose this little plug for hawt marital sexting was. I mean, presumably if you’re in a hawt, sexy Christian marriage filled with loads of hot sexy Christian sex, the idea of sexting has probably occurred to you. So this column ends up sounding more like wish-fulfillment fiction than anything that might actually be useful. And while it is about sex, it also manages to be the about the most genital-shriveling bit of derprotica I’ve ever read. It must be seen to be believed.
The comments are gold. And I’m not just saying that because the two top-rated ones are mine, but I’m mostly saying it because of that. (No, seriously, the alicublog commentariat is delightful, as always.)
People hate change, especially people who feel entitled to use free social media. So I always prepare myself for some super-dumb freakouts when platforms like Facebook and twitter make even minor changes to their interfaces. But I think twitter is on to something with its new Rape and Kill You button. It’s an upgrade we can all agree on.
I didn’t, really. I liked him a whole lot, but sometimes his shtick and mugging for the camera wore on me. But I sure like this Jon Stewart:
You may remember telling me this before, but I love Lindy West. Yes, I know she writes terrific articles on being fat, on being feminist, on being fat and feminist, as well as popular culture; but honestly the reason I love Lindy West is because she’s on twitter…and she’s really really really funny. So it’s always with a heavy heart that I check her timeline because amidst all the fun and frivolity there is always a horde of twitter doctors telling Lindy West that they’re very concerned about her health. It’s amusing to me because it’s just a ruse to avoid saying “You make my boner deflate because you’re fat.” And because you’re not going to solve the obesity epidemic by yelling at Lindy West on twitter.
First, I’d like to expound on my review of Beyonce’s visual album, “Lemonade.” I like some of the music, and I think one song–“All Night”–is superb. I think it’s all worth a look and listen. I’m keeping “Formation,” in my library. It’s a song I want to describe, but can’t. (Can anyone help me out here?) I think it’s the second-strongest single from the album. I also think “Freedom,” which sounds like it could have come from a Woodstock/Wattstax mashup concert is worth a listen. As is the Jack White collaboration, “Don’t Hurt Yourself.” Outside of that, I mostly just think the music was a nice atmospheric accompaniment to the album’s gorgeous visuals.
My co-blogger requested I talk more about those, so here goes…
“Lemonade” was filmed in New Orleans. New Orleans has never looked more beautiful. And ugly. And beautiful and ugly. And sad. And creepy. And stunning. And gritty. And haunted. I’m a big fan of the aesthetic taking ugly things and making them beautiful (even as they remain ugly, really). I loved the visuals in “Let the Right One In,” largely because I thought it was so spare and ugly and beautiful all at the same time. Now, obviously, New Orleans is a gorgeous town, but “Lemonade” wasn’t afraid to take you into a grim, abandoned parking lot, car garage, or humble residential area and overlay such potent imagery it was transformed. Suddenly it wasn’t a parking lot, it was a haunted parking lot–haunted with anger and perseverance and hope.
And, of course, there’s the stuff that’s not not ugly-beautiful, but beautiful-beautiful. The Louisiana coastline, the plantation, the abandoned stone wall overgrown with the greenest green you can imagine… A standout scene comes early in the film: there’s a large, elegant room (in the plantation?) that’s filled with water. An entire room, sitting silently in water. And Beyonce’s there, her hair floating around her in slow motion. And she looks like the world’s saddest mermaid. The imagery is nothing less than stunning. It will stay with you.
Finally, I want to talk about the people who populate this gorgeous, haunted world. They’re mostly women, black women. And they are often still, which I found fascinating. In scene after scene the camera would pan to women, mostly sitting or standing completely still, and it was so powerful. I felt like there was a defiance in the stillness; there was so much menace in that stillness.
One woman who didn’t stand still was Serena Williams, who made a cameo appearance in the film. I wanted to high five the screen when I saw she and Beyonce had effectively traded places in this segment. Beyonce had taken her place on Serena’s now-famous throne while Serena danced provocatively to the music. And in so doing, both women had been empowered. Amazing.
Delete your account https://t.co/bnWXcBEH46
— bspencer (@vacuumslayer) May 1, 2016
Yeah, I’m just gonna come out and say it: keep RedState drunk. ‘Cuz when RedState is drunk RedState writes stuff like this–“Keep Cheerleaders Hot.” And then I laugh and laugh and laugh. Then cry a little. Then laugh some more. And that’s good for my abs. And then my abs look good and I think “Hey, maybe I should try out for the squad.” So keep RedState drunk. It makes me pretty.