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NRA Enemies List


How the deuce am I not on the NRA enemies list?

What the heck does a C-list blogger have to do to get on this list, use common metaphors that right-wingers pretend call for the assassination of the NRA wacko Wayne LaPierre in order to stoke mock outrage and distract attention from the fact that NRA-supported policies facilitated the death of 26 people in Connecticut?

Wait, I’ve already done that!!!

Hard to break through in this world, I’ll tell you what.

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    Maybe Horowitz will get around to updating the 100 most dangerous professors list.

  • herr doktor bimler

    What’s the NRA’s current position on gun-ownership registries, such as bad people might use to track down gun owners and give them a hard time or target them for burglary?

    • efgoldman

      …such as bad people might use to track down gun owners and give them a hard time or target them for burglary?

      Well, all those people will have guns, right? So they will just go ahead and blast the burglars (and the rest of the neighborhood.) I mean, shit, don’t they read their own publicity, like that crazy woman who testified before Congress this week, gonna’ blast four or five of the fuckers with her kids lined up behind her?

    • Timb

      They oppose gun registries, since everyone knows the only reason anyone would want that is as a prelude to gun confiscation. It’s why I refuse to register my TV with Costco’s warranty plan; obviously, the only reason Costco wants to know is they can confiscate the TV in the middle of the night

  • cpinva

    clearly, you just don’t know the right people.

    “What the heck does a C-list blogger have to do to get on this list”

    i’m guessing you weren’t on nixon’s “enemies list” either, amirite? oh, wait, you weren’t actually born yet………….

    • FLRealist

      Not being born yet is no excuse.

  • herr doktor bimler

    I look forward to the day when the farm lobby issues a list of nutritions and food purists and anyone else opposed to adulterating everything with HFCS and similar food-based products.

    There will be jokes about them issuing a trans-fatwah.

    • expatchad

      gack! +90

  • efgoldman

    Loomis, are you the dedicated late night and weekend guy?
    If you were the senior blogger here, you might have a chance. I bet Scott is there, at least as a footnote. Or maybe they only publish annually, and heads/pikes will make the next issue.

  • Ed Koch is on that list.

    It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

    • Timb

      I wouldn’t. He tends to get angry over speculation

      • efgoldman

        He tends to get angry over speculation

        Not any more, he doesn’t.

  • wjts

    Remarkably, Andy Williams is on the list despite being, you know, dead. Equally remarkably, the Tribune Media Group is on the list despite publishing, you know, The Chicago Tribune.

    • efgoldman

      Maybe I was right, above: they only revise the list annually. Hell, I think Nixon had people on his from when he ran for Congress and the Senate.

    • So the NRA does believe that corporations are people?

      • herr doktor bimler

        And should be allowed to own whatever weapons they need to protect themselves from lawyers and hostile takeovers.

    • JonP

      They also include such currently relavent musical groups as N*Sync and The Temptations.

      • Friedrich Wilhelm Ludolf Gerhard Augustin von Steuben

        Presumably added in a fit of pique when they realized the song wasn’t actually “My Gun”.

      • herr doktor bimler

        But not the Beatles, I imagine.

        • Happiness!

          • Hogan

            And look how many people Maxwell Emerson killed with a silver hammer. Are we now going to ban silver hammers?

            • Hogan

              Edison. Whatever.

    • BobS

      Apparently Claudine Longet didn’t agree with Williams when it came to guns.

      • LittlePig

        Dang. There went the last of my tea. Well played.

  • Jewish Steel

    Mercy! That’s a mighty list. I think everyone in the US could be on that list in some capacity.

    Are sure you weren’t in Boys II Men?

    • I am now certain — more certain than I have ever been, about anything — that Erik was, indeed, in Boys II Men.

  • Maybe you’re on the double-secret, hated with the heat of a thousand suns list.

  • Incontinentia Buttocks

    I made Massada 2000’s SHIT (Self-Hating Israel Theatening Jews) List!

  • God Damn you Carol Bayer Sager! You’ll never take my guns.

    • spencer

      Now *that’s* funny. I’m not sure why, but it is.

  • Sly

    You honestly think you’re a bigger threat to liberty than the Unitarians, Hallmark Cards, and MacGyver?

  • cpinva

    prof. loomis, i did a bit of research for you, and found this. can’t hurt to give it a, um, uh……………shot.


    worst case, it costs you for a long-distance call.

  • dl

    Damn, they didn’t even bother to put Geraldo’s last name. Cold blooded. Also, you bet your ass that the Rams wouldn’t be on the list if that naughty NFL hadn’t blacklisted Rush.

    • Patricia Greene

      It actually increased my respect for Geraldo from zero to well, slightly more than zero.

  • Competition is tough. Hell, I have not been able to get a single link from LGM to my blog denouncing one of my posts even though I take a number of extreme right wing positions such as freedom for Palestine, no military intervention in Mali, and opposition to Stalinist crimes.

    • The Dark Avenger

      C’mon, J. Otto, are you really going to tell us you’re not sad that the Islamicists in Mali didn’t get a chance to destroy all those centuries-old manuscripts in Timbuktu after all?

      • I am glad the manuscripts survived. Although natural causes destroy a lot of documents in Africa daily without any concern in the US or Europe. But, destruction of documents does not seem to be a good reason to go to war. Otherwise how come Nixon established relations with China instead of invading them during the Cultural Revolution when the regime was destroying millions of precious and unique cultural artifacts including ancient manuscripts both in China proper and in Tibet, Inner Mongolia, and East Turkestan? Obviously that was much greater cause for war than what happened in Mali recently.

        • The Dark Avenger

          How about innocent people losing their lives to the Islamicists? Isn’t that a good enough reason to go to war?

          Obviously that was much greater cause for war than what happened in Mali recently.

          That something that should’ve been done in the past wasn’t isn’t an excuse for similar inaction in the present.

          But, keep telling us how the Islamicists are so much better than Stalinists these days………………

          • Generally countries go to war because it is necessary to protect their vital interests. I do not see any US vital interests in helping France in Mali. The Islamists have killed relatively few people in Mali. Certainly far fewer than the US supported Rwandan forces have in Congo. Do you really think the US should invade every country that violates human rights and that it was a mistake not to invade mainland China in 1967? Is the new leftist orthodoxy that the US should declare war and bomb every country that violates human rights? God you people really are nuts.

    • LosGatosCA

      Buck up, you’re on my ‘ignore and indifference’ list if that makes you feel better.

  • I too was disappointed to find out that I am not on this list…clearly my internet profile is not sufficient for the NRA to consider me to be an existentialist threat. Back to the drawing board…gotta formulate a new cunning plan….WHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

  • Gorram American Academy of Pediatrics.

    You can tell they’re really bad because they made the list twice.

    • ChrisTS

      As did the AMA. Either they need better clerical support or they are counting particularly nasty enemies twice.

      • BigHank53

        Either they need better clerical support

        Hey, how many competent secretaries are willing to be paid in ammunition?

        • ChrisTS

          Have we really tried?

  • arguingwithsignposts

    Just out of curiosity, where is the “C” list of bloggers?

    • Jameson Quinn

      LGM is actually on the B list. To make the A list, all it needs is an edit function for comments.

      • expatchad

        But that would pervert the whole intent!

      • somethingblue

        Why do you hate freedom?

      • Idealogue.

  • John Protevi

    The Ambulatory Pediatric Association and the National Association of Chain Drug Stores. We’re talking ice cream, Mandrake, children’s ice cream. Your hard-core commie is going to use ambulances to take sick children to drug stores to get fluoridated ice cream.

    • LittlePig

      Loss of purity of essence and obesity to boot. Damn Reds won’t stop at anything.

  • KadeKo

    All I can think of is a Pogo series in which Churchy and maybe Owl were chuffed that they weren’t on an enemies list of Simple J. Malarkey.

    Some things never change.

  • oldster

    “How the deuce am I not on the NRA enemies list?”

    Isn’t this kinda easy?

    You will appear on their list, just as soon as the NRA can raise money by putting you on their list.

    “Nancy Pelosi!!” “Jane Fonda!!”

    Those are names that raise money from the rubes.

    Don’t worry–they may be focus-grouping your name right now, to see if they can use it to raise blood-pressures and open wallets.

  • Uncle Ebeneezer

    Always a bridesmaid…

  • Bill Murray

    “How the deuce am I not on the NRA enemies list?”

    Have you made it clear that you have deliberately not shot people when you had the chance?

    What about cold-bloodedly not buying guns, when you had the money to?

    and that you didn’t shoot the sheriff?

    • Hogan

      Or even the deputy?

  • Jonas

    I think every Jewish organization in America is on the list. Hadassah? Really? It’s like they don’t realize that only Nazis want to take away guns in order to bring about another holocaust.

    • Lieutenant Général des Armées Navales François-Joseph Paul, marquis de Grasse Tilly, comte de Grasse

      While not a single neo-Nazi, white supremacist group is on the list.

      Makes you wonder? Or not.

      There’s a lot over overlap between this list and the one the Klan has I’m sure.

      Consider the Jewish Labor Committee, sorta makes you feel nostalgic for the HUAC doesn’t it.

      And the existential threat from the National Black Nurses` Association. If that doesn’t justify the 8.9th gun in your household you are just some liberal moron sleeping while Red Skull plots to take over America.

      • Consider the Jewish Labor Committee

        Am I the only one who thinks “the Jewish Labor Committee” sounds like a body that Albert Speer would chair?

  • John McCutcheon had a song in the wake of the post-9/11 ClearChannel purge

    I didn’t make this list
    Though I’ve worked my whole life long
    Twenty five recordings
    They can’t find one lousy song?
    It’s a slap in the face, an awful disgrace
    What do I have to do
    To make the grade and not be played
    Like Sinatra and U2?

    “Christmas in the Trenches” really should have made the list, too.

  • Hogan

    That list needs more crosshairs.

  • peter

    You don’t get on the best enemies lists till you’ve got tenure.

    • efgoldman

      Oh that’s cold!

  • Jim Lynch

    Of course, the horse has left the barn. But it’s unwise to goad gun nuts, even in jest. Consider that they qualify as being nuts because they’re stupid and humorless and take such things very, very seriously. And it only takes one, Eric.

  • wembley

    So many medical professionals on that list. You’d think the NRA would get a clue.

    • ChrisTS

      And churches/religious leaders.

      • MAJeff

        They recognize no religion other than the Church of the Gun, Synod of the Almighty Dollar.

        • herr doktor bimler

          ZARDOZ SPEAKS.

        • ChrisTS

          Ok; so what about AARP at the top of the list?

    • BigHank53

      You’d think the NRA would get a clue.

      To paraphrase Mr. Menken, they’re paid quite handsomely to not get a clue.

  • Oh hell!!!! I couldn’t find Bill Maher isn’t on the list so we know it’s not to be taken seriously!!!

  • You’re no Peter Bonerz. Step up your game, man!

  • Shakezula

    You were bumped at the last minute for Tara Lipinski.

    Hey, it makes as much sense as the fact Tara Lipinski is on the list.

    Which makes as much sense as allowing an organization that is afraid of pixie-sized ice skaters to have a say in shaping national policy.

    The shark. It has been triple Salchowed.

  • commie atheist

    Judging from some of the names on the list (Louie Anderson? Is he even still alive?), I have a feeling this list hasn’t ben update for ten years, if not more. So buck up, Erik. There’s still hope.

    • BigHank53

      Let’s face it, the NRA has been kind of busy for the last six weeks.

  • calling all toasters

    You think this is bad? Just wait until Jewel makes the list before you do.

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