Home / General / The President is a 6 Year Old Boy

The President is a 6 Year Old Boy


Trump gets back in big trucks.

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  • dmsilev

    I have a nephew who is nearly six. He’s got an evener temper and a longer attention span than Trump does.

  • Thom

    Where’s the fire? Have a look at your pants.

  • efgoldman

    Loomis, you don’t have kids, right?
    Take parents’/grandparents’ word for it, he’s four – and a slow, immature, spoiled, tantrumy four at that.

    ETA: Or what dmsilev said, also too.

    • Thirtyish

      Eh, I think it depends. I have a friend with a kid who recently turned 7, and while the kid’s temperament is more even than the shitgibbon’s, he’s every bit as annoying in his own way (though less destructive on a global scale, so he’s got that going for him). I’m not impressed with the small handful of six-year-olds (boys, anyway) that I’ve been around, but I’ll fully allow that we’ve been around different ones.

    • Ash

      Hmm, most four-year-olds I’ve taught had better self-control than Donald. I would peg him at three, and a young three at that.

  • malraux

    I’m old enough to remember when John Kerry had a few bad photo ops and those photos were considered campaign ending.

    • efgoldman

      I’m old enough to remember when John Kerry had a few bad photo ops

      I’m old enough to remember when Ed Muskie, a really good man, got slagged for “crying”, standing on a flatbed trailer in the snow. in NH.

    • Tige Gibson


    • dmsilev

      Or Michael Dukakis, for that matter.

      • malraux

        Had I been paying attention at the time, I might remember that, but I wasn’t nearly as politically aware. So I only remember that in retrospect.

      • Pete

        That was just an awful, awful picture though…

      • Cervantes

        Yep, George Bush the First would never have been president if Mike Dukakis didn’t look silly riding in a tank.

        • weirdnoise

          I think his fluster at Bernard Shaw’s “thought” experiment cost him at least as much as his tank photo.

    • Thomas W

      I remember when Howard Dean’s campaign derailed because he yelled “yeah!” at the end of a rally.

      • Well, you know how it is. Dean showed too much enthusiasm for his campaign, which is a disqualifying thing. Now, if he had shown just a little bit less enthusiasm, he would have been disqualified because he didn’t really want to be president.
        So, really, Democrats must live up to whatever ever-shifting nonsensical standard pundits care to create. Republicans must merely continue to breathe, and even that can be waived.

      • DAS

        I remember a media type being interviewed on WNYC who, without mentioning Dean by name, was gloating over how the media took down an emotionally unstable (or something like that) candidate for President.

        Why the media didn’t decide to do the same with Trump, I dunno … however, even if the media did go after Trump, it probably only would have increased his support!

        • weirdnoise

          even if the media did go after Trump, it probably only would have increased his support!

          You could argue that for his staunchest supporters this is true even now.

    • JDM

      I’m old enough to remember that one of those was Kerry windsurfing, which proved he was less of a manly man than his opponent who was known for holding a big megaphone as a college cheerleader.

  • Murc

    I’m gonna be honest.

    If I were president I would absolutely be doing what Trump does with trucks and other giant, awesome pieces of equipment.

    I would go to the Smithsonian and say “Gentlemen, I am going to sit in the Discovery’s command chair and press the buttons. If I need to take special care not to destroy anything historic, please tell me, but I am the president and I am going to sit in the command chair of the space shuttle and pretend to fly it for five or ten minutes.” I would do the same thing with the USS Iowa.

    • malraux

      There’s a way you could get away with some of this and not look foolish. Bring young kids. Adults look silly playing in a firetruck, but invite some kids and suddenly you’re being cool.

      • weirdnoise

        All signs are that Trump is pretty uncomfortable with kids (except for girl children past puberty).

        • malraux

          Right, what I did was think what would Obama do? Obviously he’d invite congressional families, staffers etc to bring some kids and get some banal but nice photos having fun. Trump is clearly an asshole and hates kids.

    • efgoldman

      I am the president and I am going to sit in the command chair of the
      space shuttle and pretend to fly it for five or ten minutes.”

      Anybody can do that at the Smithsonian Air & Space Annex (a great take, BTW) out near Dulles Airport.
      Of course they wouldn’t make “the president” wait in line or pay for parking, which ordinary people have to do. And being who he is, he’d probably hog the thing all afternoon and wouldn’t give it up.

      • nathanw

        You can walk around Discovery, but you can’t even look inside, much less touch anything (A great museum, to be sure, as long as you mostly want to look). The “space shuttle simulator” shaky-ride is pretty weak by comparison.

    • tsam100

      You’d likely be aware that about 1000 cameras are pointed at you and try not to look like a DERPASAURUS REX

      ETA: I totally would too. If you don’t, I kinda don’t trust you.

      • Deborah Bender

        There is a fire station literally around the corner from where I live; they are always parking trucks and rescue vehicles out on the driveway for maintenance; they have open houses and charity fundraisers several times a year that kids are invited to. The crew are all men. I have never had an interest in getting into the cab of one of those vehicles.

        OTOH, my brother got a summer job as a wildfire fighter but the job wasn’t open to females when I was a young woman. I have never gotten over the envy I felt about that. So it’s not so much about fantasies of physical bravery, it’s that I don’t yearn to operate big powerful machinery.

    • sharculese

      Yeah, but that’s a cool piece of American history. This is a fucking fire truck.

      • Murc

        Fire trucks are inherently cool.

    • You needn’t be President to hang out all over the Iowa. However, they wouldn’t let anyone on the bridge when I was there.

    • Karen

      I would go to the Smithsonian after hours and play with the Hope Diamond, and probably ask if I could try one some of the inaugural ball gowns. (Not that any would fit me, but still.) I would also order every delicacy the US produces, and challenge the WH cooks with “okay, this week is New England seafood week. How many creative takes on clam chowder can we manage? Next week, crab cakes. Week after, Gulf coast and Cajun. Appropriate booze is up to you, but make it special.”

      The thing is, we would have FUN doing this stuff. Trump, other than with the big wheel thingies, always seems so miserable. If you have as much money as he’s supposed to, and you’re the damned President, you should at least TRY to have a good time. He doesn’t.

      • Murc

        Karen, you may no longer be the 24th of your name, but your comments retain the proud insight of a long and distinguished noble line.

        • Karen

          Thank you!

      • david spikes

        The pics of Trump at the Bastille Day parades-obviously could not wait for it to be over because it wasn’t about him.

      • Sharon1W

        Oh that sounds like a blast. I’m too short, but Michelle Obama’s gown from the first inaugural by Jason Wu would be irresistible.

        • Sharon1W

          The irony is that the Obamas did these sorts of things when they were in the WH. OK, not Eloise-ing the Smithsonian, but the held concerts, worked with local kids on their kitchen garden, just embraced the “People’s House” aspect of the WH when they were there. The WH Halloween videos with kids from military families Trick or Treating at 1600 are darling.

        • Karen

          I figure that’s what the world owed them for the RW nonsense, and for hosting state visits by the dictators of countries that have only existed since 1992. “We celebrate the long friendship between the people of the United States and the people of Kyrgyzstan.” (With apologies to Kyrgyzstan. I’m sure it’s a nice enough place, but I needed the name of a country that looks funny written in English and that’s my best option.)

      • firefall

        he enjoys being praised, being angry and acting out. He’s having the time of his life.

    • wjts

      “Good morning. I’m President wjts and you must be the people who, in the interests of national security, will be spending the next however long it takes guiding me through every single attic, basement, subbasement, storage area, crawlspace, catwalk, and other behind the scenes area in every single federal museum in the city. I’ve brought my own gloves – latex and cotton – in case it proves necessary for me, again in the interests of national security, to personally examine any suspicious or otherwise interesting artifacts we find. I also brought a flashlight.”

  • Morbo

    “Where’s the fire?” Trump said. “I’ll put it out.”

    More evidence that the piss tape is real…

  • JMP

    The fire is coming from your pants, they are on fire, you liar.

  • RovingYouthPastor

    [takes out 11-dimensional chess board]

    Ahh, I see. Self-infantilization in order to change expectations and prevent community standards of how an adult man should operate from being applied to you… Well played, sir!

    Oh, wait, no. You just have the mind of an idiot child.

    • dmsilev

      “Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot and look like an idiot. But don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.”

      • Hogan

        Baravelli, you’ve got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it.

    • Thirtyish

      Most charitable interpretation: he knows his fan base, so it’s likely he’s at least in part pandering to the most maturity-impaired among his rabid supporters. Then again, he’s also clearly an overgrown idiot child himself, and why should anyone extend any charity to the shitbiggon anyway.

      • Schadenboner

        Really? In all seriousness, who does this sort of thing “play well” among?

  • tsam100

    Now a picture of Trump furiously hosing down his administration–especially that lawyer guy who shouldn’ta rec–relc–took himself offa that Russia thing.

  • Bub, Zombie in mourning

    Once you understand that Donald Trump is an infantile, ignorant, greedy, mendacious bully with the IQ of a box of rocks, everything else falls into place.

  • Deborah Bender

    i’ve never imagined myself as President, but I have imagined what I would ask for if the President owed me a favor, or if I won a Nobel Prize or something. I would ask for permission to take the stairs or ladder up the inside of the Statue of Liberty’s arm and step out on the viewing deck around the torch. No member of the public has been allowed to do that for decades.

    • John F

      When I was a kid and first visited the Statue of Liberty, we were allowed to climb up to the crown, we were told that access to the torch was “temporarily” closed for maintenance…. I learned years later that the torch had already been closed for 50-60 years at that point…

      • Deborah Bender

        I think I heard that too on the first visit. I can see why the arm is closed to the public. It isn’t big enough to accommodate a double helix staircase like the one that leads to and from the windows in the crown. There are no windows to look out of so you would have to go outside the torch to get a view. The last time I was up in the head, a wind came up and the entire statue rocked. If a bunch of people were out on the balcony, even if they kept their balance, it would put additional stress on the shoulder joint of the statue. Although “died when out on the viewing balcony of the Statue of Liberty’s torch when the arm fell off,” would make you posthumously famous for a long time.

        I’ve been up in the crown twice, once with my parents as a child and once in the 1980s not long after the big restoration job (the interior copper was still shiny.) The stairs to the crown were closed again for years after 9/11, but have reopened since. Show up early in the morning and be prepared to stand in line for a long time. There is a little side platform just before you get to the crown where you can step off from the line and be by yourself for a couple of minutes.

        The museum that was put in the pedestal at the same time as the restoration was great when I visited it, and didn’t have long lines to get in. At that time the exhibits included detailed information about the engineering, about the fundraising in France and America, and a full sized replica of her foot that you can sit on.

  • Two words: Developmentally disabled.

    • Ash

      That’s an insult to the many fine people with developmental disabilities I know, who are all more mature than Trump.

  • Thirtyish
  • Duvall

    That’s not fair. The President shares many interests with 6-year-old boys (large trucks, ice cream) but it is far harder to get him to share or play well with others.

    • JMP

      Although it’s definitely one of his most minor bits of assholery, the story about how Donald likes to serve ice cream with everyone else getting one scoop but two for himself is extremely telling, he’s just such a petty little vindictive and childish bully that he constantly has to demean everyone else around him. No wonder he’s never had any friends.

      • The Great God Pan

        It wasn’t just the ice cream, either. Every aspect of the meal had Trump getting something extra or different: soda instead of water, different salad dressing, an extra dish of sauce for the chicken.

        Presumably every meal he has with guests is like this.

    • Shawn Kelley

      Yes. He’s like a 6 year old whose parents encourage terrible behavior and never ask him to share. Only his parents are his wingnut supporters.

    • gocart mozart
  • Warren Terra

    I don’t remember if it ever escalated actually to burning anyone out of their home, but Trump was infamous for his abuse of inconvenient tenants who stood in the way of his plans to demolish and rebuild, or to refurbish, in order to turn affordable housing into luxury apartments for the rich. I’d hardly be surprised if he committed a little arson in the process.

    • petesh

      a little light arson, please

  • From one 6-year-old boy to another

    pic.twitter.com/7aUM8lx0vD— superkaratemonkey (@LedZepBoxedSet) July 16, 2017

    • Erik Loomis


  • DN Nation

    This aspect of Trump’s personality – TRUCKS GO VROOM VROOM – is the only one I see eye-to-eye with. /truck owner

  • feebog

    Anyone notice that Hair Furor’s natural hair is badly in need of a touchup? It seems to be reverting to it’s natural gray, while the hair piece that used to belong to a Golden Retriever is still that weird orange yellow.

  • Joanne

    The Ceremonial President.

  • Joe Paulson

    Sometimes, we are like that. A bit embarrassing if you have an important job.

    A little of that is no big deal. Acting like an immature six year old on Twitter? A bit different.

  • Ryan Denniston

    No doubt from the golf cart he’s towing behind. Hey moran, turn around and look at the dumpster fire of a White House you created!

  • NewishLawyer

    Today’s depression:


    “On the surface, this would seem like good news for the Democrats at the forefront of the Resistance. The bad news, however, is that to most Americans, the Resistance has very clearly subsumed the party’s identity in a negative way. A new Washington Post-ABC News poll from Sunday finds that 52 percent of Americans don’t believe the party stands for anything beyond opposing Trump. That includes not only majorities of the white working-class voters whom some Democratic strategists have puzzled over how to win back (65 percent of white noncollege men and 51 percent of white noncollege women). But it also includes a significant number of nonwhite voters typically within the Democratic fold—they’re almost evenly split on this question with 43 percent saying the party stands for something beyond resisting Trump and 42 percent saying the party does not. Americans are clearly interested in and largely disapproving of the constantly unfolding Russia imbroglio. They’d also like to hear the Democratic Party put forward an affirmative vision or message beyond a desire to boot Trump out of office. As the House Democratic Caucus Chairman Joe Crowley told the Associated Press last week, “that message is still being worked on.”

    On the one hand this seems rather no duh to me because the Democratic Party are the opposition party, of course, they should be against Trump. On the other hand, it is deeply depressing and makes it seem like the deck is just stacked against liberalism in general.

    It would be really depressing to see Trump and the GOP survive the midterms because they at least stand for something even if that something is death and depression.

    • Erik Loomis

      Following polls this closely is pointless. No matter what happens, 30-40% of voters are going to support Trump. Just get used to this and keep up the pressure.

    • Perkniticky

      And over the previous 8 years the Republicans didn’t stand for anything but opposing Obama. Look how that turned out.

      • DAS

        Was about to post a similar comment. But yours is more succinct.

        The problem is that the kinds of voters who respond to such negativity and nihilism already have a party, the GOP. People who would vote Democratic expect more from their party.

        The thing is that different groups of people expect different things. What appeals to white working class individuals might not appeal to minorities. What appeals to those of us who are more economically liberal will not appeal to a certain segment of fiscal conservative voters. What are the policies that the Democrats can put forward that will excite one segment of our base without alienating other segments?

        I know a fiscal conservative who pointed out that when people are motivated by fear, you get Trump or worse. He feels that we need to be a party of hope and not fear and opposition. The thing is that “hope” is pretty empty when it doesn’t come along with an agenda to turn hope into reality. And what would make him hopeful for the future (not burdening future generations with so much debt) requires agenda items that would make me and people like me less hopeful for the future as decreased federal spending would squelch the sort of bold programs that would improve our economy in the long run.

        • Hogan

          The problem is that the kinds of voters who respond to such negativity and nihilism already have a party, the GOP.

          Oh FFS. It isn’t nihilism. What the GOP is proposing is aggressively evil. It’s going to hurt millions of people to enrich a few dozen. We’re not opposing it just because Trump supports it. Explaining that is pretty goddamn important.

      • Pseudonym

        Dismantling so-called big government is a vision of sorts, especially if it involves hurting ones so-called inferiors.

      • JMP

        And the Democrats standing on opposing the disastrous presidency of W. Bush worked out very well in 2006 and 2008.

    • gyrfalcon

      The Democratic party at this time stands for opposing Trump and the Repukes, in service of not sacrificing every legislative achievement of the last eight years to cut Koch tax rates by 0.1%. The depression is inherent in the implicit Bothsidesdoitism of “the role of the minority is to stand in opposition, regardless of the motives”.

  • hellslittlestangel

    When he met Brigitte Macron, he didn’t start masturbating.In that moment, he became the President.

    • Drew

      More like she was older than 25, so he didn’t even consider her a woman.

      • notthelogos

        “More like she was older than 15, so he didn’t even consider her a woman.” Fixed it for you.

  • And still people on the right will lap this shit up. Not a single second of contemplation. well, maybe when they see librul tears, they’ll dance with joy.

  • And he’s loved forever by those with the mentality of a 5 year old, to whom he seems so wise.

  • Ash

    Presidential photo-ops should not be reminding me of taking my preschool students on field trips. Of course, last time, several of the preschoolers made far more intelligent comments than Trump’s…

    • Drew

      I’m sure they would make much better presidents.

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