As I peek through my fingers at my bank account at month’s end, it occurs to me it might be time for another OLDMAN CAT fundraiser, because I am broke. As in, broker than broke, can’t afford to go to the laundromat broke, eating even cheaper Ramen noodles broke. It’s not their fault that they’re old and their food and medicine are expensive, but they are and it is.
So, if you have some spare change around and want to keep OLDMAN CAT spry, profane, and perpetually annoying, I have a Pay Pal account through which you can do so.
This isn’t a GoFundMe, but I thought I’d offer incentives anyway:
- For $5, OLDMAN VIRGIL will annoy me
- For $10, OLDMAN MUND will join in
- For $50, I will record what happens when dinner is 3 minutes late
- For $75, I will stop recording what happens when dinner is 3 minutes late
- For $500, I will give the OLDMAN of your choice a bath
- For $750, I will do so without wearing a full suit of armor
- For $1,500, I will dress them in sweater vests and take pictures of them telling you to “FUCK OFF”
- For $5,000, I will teach them an aria from favorite opera, which they will refuse to learn
- For $10,000, they will crack the unsolved mathematical theorem of your choice, then refuse to share the answer
Thanks in advance for any and all donations, I really appreciate it.