Wherever there’s a racist being racist, I’ll be there.

As someone who writes about race and also teaches at the University of California, Irvine, I take full responsibility for this egregious recording. Clearly, I’m a horrible teacher because students I never taught wore blackface on the Internet.

So say the emails that poured in after a prominent conservative blogger tweeted my email address in connection with this local scandal. But as I scanned subject lines while deleting said emails, I noticed that I’m not the only one to blame. Irvine also has an African American Studies program that failed to prevent this racist display from happening. And a department of Asian American studies that neglected to inform an Asian American student that racism is bad. The Women’s Studies department also did nothing to prevent this performance of antebellum proportions from occurring on its campus (because abortion).

Point being, despite all these programs and departments dedicated to creating a more compassionate body politic, there are still students on the Irvine campus who are racist. Therefore, per these emails and the dictates of logic, the aforementioned departments should be shut down. They’re disappointing the corporate charter.

The only real solution to fighting racism is to stop fighting it.

Then it’ll just go away.

UPDATE: I forgot to mention how humorless these “studies” people are, and how their humorlessness is responsible for everything wrong with America.