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Busted!

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[The following post was written for mature audiences.  Reader discretion is advised.]

The Donalde caught me cursing, which as we all know I never do.  Well, actually, the Donalde caught my student cursing, which as we all know they never do either.  Then he proved I’ve cursed before by linking to an unformatted comment in a post that deemed me “insufferable” for writing those visual rhetoric posts you love—or at least the ones that receive the most random positive feedback.  Because he’s the Donalde, he fails to realize that I was being purposely insufferable because I’d been called “insufferable,” and that I sarcastically answered the question “What the fucking fuck?” with “Q.F.E.F.D.” But alas!  It is not in the Donalde to recognize such things.

However, it is in the Donalde to end a post in which he castigates me for cursing by calling me an “asshat.”  He does as well with irony as he does sarcasm and Google: he suggests that I use the word “cocksucker” in private, when I not only use it quite publicly, I think it can be fucking poetry.

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  • SEK

    P.S. Soon enough, I’ll crawl out of the end-of-quarter/end-of-school-year obligations and do more than write reactionary posts, i.e. write more of those visual rhetoric posts you love.

    • dave

      Reactive, dude, please! My fucking students can’t get that right, but you should. The Donalde is a reactionary, who would clearly like to take us back to some imagined Playboy 1950s; you are reacting to him.

  • Malaclypse

    Good thing he’s not still ranting about that Carl Salami dude. Because if he were, that would make him look like a complete fucking tool.

    • SEK

      You mean, like the way he posted a screen-capture of my site, as if he thought his post would compel me to pull my post because he’s so, um, important? Nope, doesn’t make him look like a self-important tool in the least.

      • Malaclypse

        But, you let a student use a naughty, naughty word! Dear Cthulhu, sir – if you had any decency, you would have posted cheesecake pictures of her, rather than expose people to that naughty, naughty word.

        At long last, sir – fuck!

        • SEK

          Moreover, that naughty word was about me! How could I establish my authority after that? I mean, if it’s not through superficial stuff like not cursing, there’s no way to demonstrate to students that I possess expertise in the material I teach them. They must think I’m a blithering, nay, profanely blithering idiot, and not respect me in the least!

          • How much authority, indeed, SEK!

            You have as much credibility as, say, a PoliSci professor who has not voted in the past six years!

            Good day, I SAY GOOD DAY, sir!

  • Malaclypse

    And I do wonder what ever happened to
    I’m on the verge of obtaining the mother of all tips on Tintin’s identity.
    It would be wrong to refer to crudities about shitting or getting off of the pot, and I would not want to bruise poor Donalde’s delicate sensibilities by suggesting that he do so.

    • *examining nails*

      He was persuaded out of that. I suspect he’ll try to sneak one by some time later this year.

      If he’s not actually in prison at that point. Or if the public library he’ll be posting from censors.

      • Malaclypse

        And yet he keeps posting about this Carl Salami dude almost daily. I think our Donalde has finally found the object of his affections, or something.

        • He doesn’t know about the “other” mail that Carl sent.

          Carl is not a man to be messed with. His words carry a weight that would break a lesser man’s jaw

  • Excuse me, but I find that the proper use of profanity can be a great aid to understanding.

    For instance, if that sign had read “Sasquatch Is Fucking Real,” it would have saved everyone a whole lot of grief.

    • I generally prefer the format of “Sasquatch Fucking Isreal.” Because ooh-la-la, Bigfoot love Netanyahu long time!

    • efgoldman

      Excuse me, but I find that the proper use of profanity can be a great aid to understanding.

      Fuck, yeah.

  • wengler

    I need a Paul Campos BMI post now.

    • SEK

      I’m incapable of not responding to poppycock with flabbergasting blathering. Chalk it up to having been a warboarder back in the pre-Internet era, but I can’t not respond to words on a screen if they’re attacking me. Have no fear, though, I’ll be back to writing different sorts of posts you don’t like as soon as I finish being a responsible professor.

  • Murc

    Good heavens! Are you telling me that respectable University students CURSE these days, sir?

    *monocle pops out*

    Have them seized at once, and flogged, before they proceed from cursing to blaspheming! And arrest that young man with his unshorn locks, lest he incite the female population into a riotous lust!

    • Malaclypse

      Have them seized at once, and flogged, before they proceed from cursing to blaspheming!

      I have even heard that, after blasphemy, sodomy will follow, as night follows day, and as Meade follows Althouse, with short, purposeful strides.

    • MAJeff

      Good heavens! Are you telling me that respectable University students CURSE these days, sir?

      Heaven forbid they produce assignments based on songs with lyrics like “Fuck the pain away.

      And, of course, a professor like myself would never use such an example in class to talk about mashup culture.

      • DrDick

        And one such as my self would never show monkey porn (bonobo actually) in class to illustrate the fact that primate sex is not just about reproduction as a foundation for talking about human sexuality.

  • SEK

    You know, he’s so fixated on the rhetorical flourish of “I will end you” that I’m almost sad I passed on the opportunity to claim that I’d fuck him up flatter than hammered shit. The image of him cowering under his desk, masturbating to a description of Reagan in a neocon tome about OUR AWESOME STRONG MILITARY BEING AWESOMELY STRONG is … possibly the most disturbing visual that’s ever entered my brain, and I apologize for sharing.

    • Thanks anyway for the oeuvre.

      What is that anyway? Some sort of French tickler?

      • Warren Terra

        incidentally, I have a soft spot for the word ouevre. I think it’s because more or less the first place I read it, and certainly the place I read it used most frequently and most enjoyably, was in the collected essays of Molly Ivins.

        • Soft-boiled oeufs?

          • DocAmazing

            …as hors d’ouevres.

            • I don’t pay for what I can get for free.

  • gocart mozart

    The problem SEK is that you tried to use nuance while debating him like some pansy ass liberal elitist. You may as well of spread fancy French mustard all over him and thrown him in a bed of fresh arugula but to each his own.

    Also, Ewwww!!!

  • Pupienus

    I wish to request a pronunciation guide for saying “F**k” because I have no idea how to say it.

    • Bill Murray

      fuh-tck-tck-kuh

      • Halloween Jack

        That sounds like an outtake from “Oh Yeah”, therefore I approve.

    • herr doktor bimler

      The asterisks are glottal stops.

      • DrDick

        No, you use an apostrophe or “?” for those. I think the asterisk id a click sound like “!”,”#”,& “/”.

    • Left_Wing_Fox

      It starts with an “ffff” but then you have to ad-lib a bleep, ding, honk-honk, AHOOOGAH or “shmeep” into there, before ending in the gutteral k.

  • gocart mozart

    possibly the most disturbing visual that’s ever entered my brain, and I apologize for sharing.

    Is it the second now?

    • SEK

      No, but I don’t want to think about it anymore, so if you’d like it to be “Yes,” I’m willing to grant you that.

  • gocart mozart

    Rhymes with look.

    • Warren Terra

      In Manchester, maybe. Or is it Liverpool?

      • rea

        I would have thought Canada, or maybe N. Dakota:”Fooking is what life’s aboot, eh”

        • MAJeff

          Here in North Dakota, the “uh” in “fuck” is somewhere in between “uh” and “ah.”

          • mds

            Oh, I’ll just bet it is, MAJeff.

          • efgoldman

            Is it not a two syllable word, y’all?

            • SEK

              Only when Clay Davis says it.

              • MAJeff

                Molly Ivins: “Shit is a three-syllable word with a ay in the middle.”

              • SEK

                Ivins may’ve written that, but Davis lived it.

  • Willard

    Everyone here is shit stuffing cock washers

    • N.C.

      Proper penile hygiene is important.

    • Warren Terra

      Sorry, is that fourth word meant as a noun or an adjective?

    • MAJeff

      Greetings, Governor Romney. How’s the campaign going?

    • BigHank53

      You’re here too, sparky…and the meeting isn’t until Tuesday.

    • Anonymous

      See, now that is some Machiavellian elan!

      • Malaclypse

        Above was me. I blame Sasquatch.

    • In fairness to us, it pays better than minimum wage.

    • Halloween Jack

      I had to wash my cock the other day to get the pussy blood off. (That cat should have known better than to take on a full-grown rooster.) I can’t say that I’ve ever had shit stuffing, although there’s been more than one Thanksgiving when I’ve been tempted to ask the cook if they were actually allergic to spices.

      • Larkspur

        This is remarkably clever, and now I’m gonna throw up.

  • Bart

    What exactly is an “asshat”?

    • Warren Terra
      • Y’know…

        It’d be a whole lot more satisfying (and topical, in a topical sort of way) if step 3 said “Is that so fucking hard.”

        I’m just sayin’…

      • Wow. That site is AMAZING! Fucking AMAZING!

  • I try to lace my seminars and lectures with profanity. Keeps the students on their toes.

  • As I said at Scott’s other place, I love how Douglas bobbles the Biblical “beam” bash, spiralling spontaneously into self-parody.

    Also I forgot to add, “Q.F.E.F.D.” made me smile.

  • john

    Ha it looks like he got his Netanyahus mixed up.

    http://americanpowerblog.blogspot.com/2011/05/netanyahu-v-obama.html

    It seems that was the brother, Yonathan, at Entebbe. Not Bibi.

    • john

      Oops. I’m wrong. That’s not the Entebbe raid he’s talking about.

  • I think the best part is that somehow Donalde is completely unable to recognize that the student’s captioning is fucking funny.

    • Malaclypse

      Nah, we always knew Donalde could never let up on the rage long enough to recognize humor. The best parts are that the person who would write

      And you know, it’s an intra-progressive debate, so they’re all pretty much scumbags. Frankly, Leiter himself comes off the epic prick, and truth be told, strip away Bertram’s fancy bullshit parsing, the commie dicks at Crooked Timber are a bunch of social justice “sick fuck”* losers.

      * Birds of a feather. See Amy Alkon, “sick fuck adult losers …”

      is 1) willing to complain about profanity, and 2) so unable to actually use profanity well himself that he needs to quote Amy Alkon.

      • I have the strangest feeling that Donalde is trying to play some kinda “not my responsibility” game with all the links to the Alkon article, of late. Kinda like “…I didn’t say those things, she did. I just linked to what she said.” He’s hiding behind Alkon’s skirt and trying to maintain that internet tough guy image, at the same time.

        He is acting pretty wimpy about the whole thing all of a sudden. As I said at my place, it’s getting more and more unlikely that the disappeared posts will ever again see the light of day at his blog. No, the big Tintin-Salami-??? reveal will more’n’likely never take place. Damned shame, too, because I’m still wondering whether I’m really SEK.

        • He’s hiding behind Alkon’s skirt

          Citation, please

        • Gary Ruppert, Secret Mastermind Behind S,N!

          I’m still wondering whether I’m really SEK.

          The fact is, here in the Heartland, that I know SEK’s real, true identity. Amy Alkon, who I know very well, told me.

          • SEK = Gary Ruppert?

            Man, even I couldn’t have forseen that…

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