The case of the magic Rubio slippers (Update)

When the administration is filled with vain, vicious vacuous people whose success has outstripped their natural talents and there’s some hot gossip about fashion faux pas, you bet I checked People magazine’s take.

Trump’s preoccupation on the shoes being worn in the White House didn’t come out of nowhere. Back in December, Vance recounted a “behind-the-scenes” Oval Office moment he said he would “never, ever forget.”

The vice president told right-wing commentator Benny Johnson that he, Trump, Rubio and another unnamed politician were discussing a serious policy issue — until Trump abruptly shifted the conversation to their footwear.

“The president kind of holds up his hand and says, ‘No, no, no, hold on a second. There’s something much more important. Shoes,’ ” Vance recounted. Trump then “peers over the Resolute Desk” and declared, “Marco, JD, you guys have s—– shoes. We gotta get you better shoes.”

It goes without saying, but I’m going to say it: If a woman president stopped any conversation to chat about shoes, Congress would impeach her so quickly that time would warp and Congress would have filed the articles of impeachment before the conversation began. However, it would never, ever, ever happen because getting bored with serious stuff to talk about shoes is a sexist’s stereotype of how women behave.

Anyway.

Trump then allegedly asked the men in the room for their shoe size. When one unnamed politician answered “7,” Vance said, Trump apparently “leaned back in his chair and joked, ‘You know you can tell a lot about a man by his shoe size.’ “

I can tell you to look for a cabinet member who is a man and about 5′ 6″ tall.

I’m sure the conversation is seared into Vance’s brain. That was the moment he realized he’d have to spend four years giving rimjobs to a complete fuckhead who might not remember who was tonging the ring if he wants that endorsement when he runs for president.

President Donald Trump has reportedly found a way to unite his top advisers during a controversial moment in his presidency: matching shoes.

The Wall Street Journal reported on Monday, March 9, that the president has taken to gifting his top Cabinet members and political allies pairs of his favorite dress shoes. The footwear, from an American brand called Florsheim, reportedly cost just $145 a pair and are paid for by the president himself, according to the outlet.

“All the boys have them,” one female White House told the Journal.

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“It’s hysterical because everybody’s afraid not to wear them,” another female official said.

And of course there’ll be sport humiliation.

According to a recent photo of Rubio, however, the president’s guessing may be slightly off. Following the reporting on Trump’s shoe shopping, an image of the secretary of state went viral, showing him seemingly wearing loose Florsheim dress shoes with a noticeable gap between his heel and the back of the shoe.

There’s a photo at the link but a search for Rubio’s shoes pulls up dozens of photos of him in a pair of obviously outsized loafers. Plus tons of mockery. Perhaps the Department of State will be the next to ban press photographers.

Update: The shoe-buying frenzy might end soon. Or at least shift to another company because Weyco Group Inc. is suing him over his tariff tantrum. Weyco is owned by the Florsheim family and includes the eponymous brand.

In its complaint, Weyco argues that the president exceeded his authority by imposing sweeping tariffs under the International Emergency Economic Powers Act (IEEPA), and asks the court to declare those actions unlawful and order refunds with interest. The case also forms part of a broader wave of challenges brought by importers seeking to preserve their right to recover tariffs following Supreme Court rulings limiting the use of IEEPA for trade measures.

And talking of bans for bad pictures. That article features a particularly choice one.