Florida Man

Does a single person in Washington care that anal canker Howard Schultz is stomping out of that state to move to Florida to avoid taxes? Even if it means Washington doesn’t get his tax money, who gives a shit if he lives there?

The news comes one week after Starbucks tapped Tennessee as the home of a new corporate operations office, though the company confirmed there are no plans to move its headquarters out of Seattle.

Rian Watt, executive director of Seattle nonprofit Economic Opportunity Institute, doesn’t see a substantial link between the legislative progress of the “millionaires tax” bill and Schultz’s relocation.

“It seems like this move had already happened, and, obviously, the ‘millionaires tax,’ if it’s passed, wouldn’t go into effect until 2029,” Watt said in a phone interview Wednesday.

Schultz helped build Starbucks into the industry fixture it is today after buying the company from founders Jerry Baldwin, Zev Siegl and Gordon Bowker in 1987. He served three stints in leadership roles before finally stepping away from the Starbucks board of directors in 2023.

But Schultz clashed during his last years at Starbucks with a budding labor movement that pushed for unionizing store workers. His contentious relationship with the union attracted lawmakers’ attention. In 2023, he testified before a U.S. Senate committee headed by Sen. Bernie Sanders in Washington, D.C., and addressed claims of union busting and federal labor law violations at the company.

Schultz remains the “lifelong chairman emeritus” at Starbucks.

The company didn’t respond to a request for comment.

Let the 2026 hurricane season strike right at some prime billionaire properties!