Erik Visits a (Non-)American Grave, Part 1,976

This is the grave of Henry V of England.

Born in 1386 in Monmouth Castle, Wales, Henry of Monmouth was not originally in line to be king. But in 1399, his father, who became Henry IV, had led nobles in a revolt to overthrow Richard II, who had denied Henry inherited lands after an earlier revolt in 1388. Now, when you are talking anything hereditary, the chances are that you might be a skilled warrior and leader but your son is a moron. I mean, say what you want about Scumbag Don, but Usay and Qusay Trump are far, far stupider than he is and whatever happens after all the tanning causes the fatal cancer, the future of that movement is not in those two morons. Luckily for Henry IV, his son Henry was very good at the whole military and leadership thing. Shortly after Henry IV took power, the Glyndŵr Rebellion began in Wales and Henry started leading troops in that war from a pretty young age, particularly at the Battle of Shrewsbury in 1403.

Henry was also the first future English king educated in the English vernacular instead of the French of his ancestors. He spent quite a bit of time at Queen’s College, Oxford and a big fan of the English language, as well as of literature and music. Later, he would start the royal patronage of composers.

Not all things were great between Henry IV and his son. Basically, Henry knew he was probably better at all this than his dad and he wanted power. Henry IV’s health was declining and this was going to happen, but there was a lot of tension between father and son, the kind that so often happens in dynastic rivalries. In any case, Henry IV died in 1413 and his son became Henry V. The new king cut an impressive visage. He was well over 6 feet tall, probably about 6’3″ and that at a time when most people were very short. Of course he was eating better than they were.

It didn’t take Henry V long to start another war with France. Uniting England and France under the control of the English kings was long a dream of these monarchs and the core of the Hundred Years Wars that this was all part of. This had gone back to Edward III. So in 1415, Henry invaded France. This led to an immediate victory for the English in what remains one of the signature victories of the English military–the Battle of Agincourt. Despite numerical disadvantage due to disease epidemics sweeping what must have been utterly filthy camps, the English managed to follow Henry V into battle and defeat Charles VI of France in some brutal hand-to-hand fighting. The use of the English longbow was fully deployed in this battle and probably made a critical difference.

A truce after that didn’t last long. Henry just loved him some wars. So there was a second campaign from 1417-20. This was also quite successful. Henry marched into Paris. He retook Normandy for the English too, which really mattered to him and all these other descendants of the Norman invasion leaders back in 1066. England would hold onto its new stronghold in France until 1429, but of course it would never conquer that nation. But the Treaty of Troyes in 1420 did name Henry the heir apparent to that throne, disinheriting Charles’ actual son. Charles was sick too, so it was only a matter of time. As it is for all of us.

Henry was absolutely brutal as a military leader. Did he care when the people of Rouen sent out their women and children to avoid starvation during Henry’s siege of that city? He did not. He let them starve between the lines of the two sides. Many died.

Notice here that we haven’t talked at all about domestic affairs. There’s a good reason for this–Henry V only cared about war in France. He was utterly indifferent to what was going on at home, except to make sure he had enough money for his wars. The one exception was to crack down on any kind of Lollard uprising, since anger about the church was pretty rampant through these years. The major Lollard uprising was in 1414 and Henry brutally destroyed it. He had his own friend John Oldcastle burned at the stake in 1417 when that guy’s sentiments moved toward Lollard leadership and Henry felt it threatened his rule. Henry also made the English language the official language of government in 1417.

There was one problem though with the young king’s domination over more of France. Henry died in 1422. We don’t really know why Henry died. For a long time, there was discussion of dysentery, but the timeline doesn’t make sense. Could be poisoning. In any case, he was 35 years old.

Henry had an infant son who would become King of England as Henry VI. But no one in France was too scared and so while he would claim the throne, that didn’t mean that the French would accept it. And as it turned out Henry VI was terminally weak. But that’s for a different grave post. Also, while Henry V is notable for good reason; Agincourt is a legendary moment in English history for reason, the true reason he is remembered more than most kings today is that Shakespeare really nailed it with that play. While I probably have a personal preference for Richard III as a play–and honestly that’s probably because of that beautifully campy film version from the mid 90s that set it in fascist England and starred Ian McKellen in the title role–Henry V is the one that’s had the most impact over time. I also would not saying against the Kenneth Branagh version from that great Shakespeare film revival period of the 90s.

Can you imagine popular Shakespeare films being made today? Everyone from a 15 year old to a 80 year old would rather just fuck around on their phone and go deeper into internet rabbit holes that just repeat the same thing back to them over and over and over again. It’s a true wonder America is in collapse.

Henry V is buried in Westminister Abbey, London, England.

If you want this series to visit an American monarch, you can donate to cover the required expenses here. What you say? America doesn’t have monarchs!?!?! Ah, the kings and queens of Hawaii are all buried in Honolulu, so you should make that happen. Previous posts in this series are archived here and here.