Tariffs gon’ make you sick

Then, trump gon’ give you the antidote. Which involves increasing the cost of health care for Americans. And possibly bleach and cod liver oil enemas.

Global drugmakers’ stocks dropped across the board on Wednesday after U.S. President Donald Trump reiterated plans for a “major” tariff on pharmaceutical imports, threatening an interwoven supply chain across the world, and as his country-specific reciprocal tariffs took effect, leading to more pain in global markets.

Pharmaceutical imports were initially exempt from Trump’s first set of reciprocal tariffs last week but his administration has since indicated that levies on the sector, which in the past has been excluded from such actions, are coming.

The U.S. president has said the tariffs will incentivize drug companies to move operations to the U.S. However, analysts and companies have raised concerns about the difficulty in setting up manufacturing in the United States.

Sure, just toss a pinch of powdered pharmaceutical phactory phlakes into the air and Twing!

Infrastructure not included.

Or all the stuff necessary to make the pharmaceuticals.

Or employees. And don’t plan to bring any employees unless they can pass Marco Rubio’s paper bag test and the Grand Ol’ Perverts’ gender conformity test and have ever said anything not nice about Dumpster Don. Or want to live in a country that has any sort of social safety net. The employees should either not have or want children, thereby exposing themselves to the Wrath of Vance, or be willing to have their children receive whatever passes for education in this country. Good thing making pharmaceuticals is really easy and doesn’t require any special training at all. So it won’t be a big deal if the employees who might pass muster refuse to move to the land of opportunity. To get shot during a food riot.

And did we mention? The Secretary of the Department of Health & Human Services thinks that people just need to eat raw milk and raw meat and get out in the sun to be healthy. But he probably won’t be much of a problem.

Also not included: Any guarantee that if you do get a factory up and running while he’s still around, that it won’t be seized under Verruca Salt rules.

Whew. Time for a P-Funk break.