How Uncle Joe Brandon Bailed Out SBF

Remember when the hot theory amongst our tech supergeniuses was that SBF would be given a pass because he was a Democratic campaign donor?

there was a significant number of people on here who were absolutely convinced for no reason that SBF was going to completely get away with it

like, not even an arrest or trial

here’s one of them https://t.co/R0Tkk5D4uw pic.twitter.com/3yHHCGGJwn— Matt Binder (@MattBinder) November 3, 2023

How did this pan out? I haven’t had the chance to check the news lately. [Sees news update on phone] Oh. Clearly, this was a witch hunt designed to detract attention from Hunter Biden’s nude selfies!

SBF’s otherwise inexplicable decision to go to a trial against federal prosecutors when 1)he committed numerous serious felonies and 2)went to very media outlet he could find to discuss how he had committed numerous serious felonies is the final sad trombone for Effective Altruism as wealthy people who lack any notable commitment to either altruism or effectiveness define it:

There was a hypothetical he posited, where you could flip a coin: heads annihilated the world, and tails made it twice as good. Bankman-Fried said he would take that bet. For Joseph Bankman and Barbara Fried, I think that is no longer a hypothetical. Bankman-Fried’s loving parents suffered through a trial where his closest friends testified against him, with their every move watched intently by a gallery of reporters.

There is a reason most people won’t flip that coin: they aren’t selfish enough to gamble with other people’s lives.

Anyway, make sure to get in on the fifteenth floor of LOOMCOIN or you’ll miss the SUPERCYCLE!