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Entertain me!*

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Discussion about who will replace TFG (that fucking ghast) before he is dead and tucked away in one of Palm Beach County’s deluxe landfills is premature. But there’s going to be more and more (and more and more and more) of it because people who lack the chops to competently cover politics and the sense of shame that would cause them to seek suitable employment get to engage in endless horsecasting, press release rehashing and gossip-peddling under the guise of political reporting.

National outlets are pushing DeSantis as the Republican apparent heir of choice, because – if I may summarize – he’s obnoxious and cruel in ways that have earned him national coverage and the fact that he has vigorously used racism to prevent people who would vote for Democrats from doing so shows what a good politician he is.

But a key factor that seems to be missing from the various R.D. v. D.T. mock match ups is consideration of whether DeSantis can match or even outdo Glump when it comes to entertaining the Republican base.

So. Can DeSantis match or even outdo Glump when it comes to entertaining the – ?

Fuck it. Of course he can’t. Because he is a shitty excuse for a human being, but he isn’t shitty in the right ways.

What started with the GOP promoting a spoiled, addled jackass whose personality stopped developing his freshman year of college as the preferable alternative to a man who wasn’t a douche and could navigate whole paragraphs without mishap (because some people like to sit down for drinks with mean assholes, I guess) has ultimately created Republican voters who crave behavior that normal people describe as dumb, obnoxious and erratic.

Thanks to Le Petitmain, the chaos also has to have a thick glaze of celebrity and a heavy sprinkling of sleaze. Who is going to convince the Republican base that the party’s over and they can’t have that any more; Mitch McConnell? Ha. Ha ha ha ha.

Anyone who wants a chance to say they were first to spot the next great Republican hero should be asking themselves what scum eaters like Kid Rock and Ted Nugent are up to these days.

People who post off-topic comments think DeSantis looked stylish in those white galoshes.

* Source (music)

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