Here is the complete and exhaustive list of things that will stop Donald John Barron Trump from running for president again:
- Being dead.
- Being a deep coma.
I was going to add “Being abducted by aliens,” but why would anyone or thing travel to the wrong side of the universe to collect garbage? And if by chance they did nab him – during an intergalactic treasure hunt for the most disgusting organism that mimics sentience, perhaps – they’d bring him back before we had a chance to enjoy his absence. And then the aliens would execute their version of the WOER Protocol on the planet because that’s the only way to be sure that the species that produced him never achieves interstellar travel and shows up on their doorstep.
So I guess abducted by aliens is a third option. But I digress.
Neither accusation nor investigation nor prosecution nor conviction nor
glo m of ni t incarceration will stay the cantilevered comboverist from trying to ooze its way back into the White House. Neither will it stay Republicans from enthusiastically helping him do it while parading around waving their guns and shouting NOW LOOK WHAT YOU MADE US DO.
And it will not stop reporters at the same outlets that trumpeted HEREMAILS from scratching their collective ass crack and deciding that all of his criming casts clouds of doubt on the Democratic Party’s failure to do the one weird trick to get the GOP to nominate someone reporters could fluff without getting orange gunge all over their hands. Not that they will stop with the fluffing!
So really, no one should expect his ever-growing pile of legal problems to keep him from running. That was never going to happen. But that’s fine, because stopping him from running is not the reason for various AGs, private citizens and organizations to take turns dragging him through court until you can track him by the trail of orange gunge. The reason for that is because he’s a fucking crook and that’s what you do with crooks.