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Thinking about making a donation doesn’t really count

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One thing I like to do is work on stand up comedy routines that I will never actually perform because I’m much funnier in my head than in real life, so called. I had this one bit worked up that Louis CK totally stole: it’s about how I like to congratulate myself for noble gestures that I’ve never actually performed in real life, so called, but I still somehow think of as redounding to my credit because at least I’ve thought about doing them. (LCK talks about giving up his first class seat to a soldier in uniform, and how he always thinks about doing this every time one walks by him on the way to coach. He somehow credits himself for having done so mentally, although he’s never actually done it except in his head. I swear I had basically the same bit all worked out before he plagiarized it. Which seems ironic somehow).

So anyway a lot of you are reading this and you’ve done the same thing when you thought about donating to LGM (or some other worthy cause). You didn’t actually donate, but you THOUGHT about donating, which is a nice thought, and just as good as actually donating, except for the worthy cause not getting the money part.

OK this year you get no credit at all, not even in your own head, unless you actually give some money.

Bonus content: Ten key films for LGM allusion purposes:

THE GODFATHER (I & II)

GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS

THE GRIFTERS

BEING THERE

DR. STRANGELOVE

GOODFELLAS

CASINO

THE KING OF COMEDY

APOCALYPSE NOW

THIS IS SPINAL TAP

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