Fleischer fantasy

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My theory, and it is mine, is that Ari Fleischer is desperate to get back into the White House. Also, he wants to see dead burnt bodies and veins in his teeth. Here’s the latest proof:

So fascinating changes underway inside of Iran, no one can predict where they’re going to go. But the more unstable we can help Iran to become, the better it is to actually secure peace if we can get rid of that theological regime one day, or if the Iranian people can get rid of it themselves.

Read that as many times as you like, the letters will not rearrange themselves into words that make sense.

No one knows what a regime change in Iran would look like. If one ignores trivial things like history. However, the U.S. should help Iran by destabilizing it, because nothing is more helpful than fucking with other people’s countries until they break. Right Vlad?

I’m sure if one were to survey Iranians, there would be massive support for that sort of thing, especially if it were led by the human-shaped Titanide dropping currently in the White House. I bet it would be at least as popular as spontaneous combustion of pubic hair, if not more so.

Fleischer seems to hint that the U.S. should have some more direct involvement in kicking out the current regime and I’m surprised he didn’t start to emit low moans at that point. But at any rate, he is clearly still chasing after flarsncandy and he is clearly a blood-thirsty chicken hawk.

Since he’d clearly be a perfect fit in the current White House, I assume the only reason he hasn’t been given a job is because he worked for Bush. Maybe he should drop more hints about war. If we get through the clementine colored clown’s tenure without invading at least one country it will be a miracle, because Dump wants to play with his army. But Fleischer needs to ease up on the talk about corruption, and anything that suggests that people have a right to things like health care and a decent environment.

And [Secretary of State] Mike Pompeo put his finger on one of the biggest problems and it’s corruption. The people want their basic needs, they want their food, they want their healthcare, they want their environment — and the Iranian government is so corrupt it’s making it much harder for people to live in that country.

However, if Fleischer goes on Fox a few more times and reminisces about the joys of Iraq II,  he’ll be back in the White House before you can say Curveball.

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