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The Emperor’s New “Clothes”

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Lately I’ve been toying with the idea that designers are punking their customers with ever-more-elaborate gags. I picture them sitting at their design tables and saying things like “Let’s see if I can get these buttholes to wear a miniskirt with chaps attached.” It’s the only thing I can think of to explain this:

Listen, you’d look sulky too if you had to wear the world’s first “nipple sweater.”

And this:

TOO LATE.

And let’s not forget Ivanka’s…pants?

If you root around in those pants long enough you can grab her…influence. THAT’S where she’s been hiding it.

You may think they’re hideous and you’re right, but, listen, do *your* $500 designer pants double as makeshift circus tent when you take them off? Now, that’s architecting you life.

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