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The 25 worst people of the day this Halloween

[ 65 ] October 31, 2014 |

I’ve got say — watching my friend and colleague David Ferguson bang this out yesterday was an unqualified pleasure. Sample:

4. Bill Maher

Why he’s scary: His agenda appears to be sliding further and further to the right and now he’s even flirting with Rand Paul. We’re concerned that by spring thaw he will have gone full Dennis Miller and be appearing on Fox News.

Our tribute: Smoking a bomber joint while sexually harassing a stripper in a mosque.

New Internet Film School column: Why good horror should damn near bore you to tears

[ 7 ] October 30, 2014 |

ringu00005

On the Japanese version of Ringu and why she’s having so much fun up there. Sample:

The most interesting visual element in this shot is the perspective implied by the camera placement. By partially obscuring the view of Reiko Asakawa, Nakata suggests that this might be a point-of-view shot, thereby planting in the minds of the audience the idea that perhaps she’s being watched—and that the audience might be sharing the perspective of whoever (or whatever) is doing the watching. The fact that the camera is perfectly still here adds to the unease, because that lack of movement alone suggests the watcher may (or may not) be in plain sight, yet is undetected and wishes to remain so. In classic horror fashion, Nakata wants his audience to inhabit the mind and perspective of a stalker.

And you know what? Being a stalker is dull…

 

Supporting the NRA now literally entails endorsing kitten and puppy murder

[ 66 ] October 29, 2014 |

I’m not saying — I’m just saying.

I’ll be damned if this doesn’t make me want to call for someone’s head on a stick.

Ever wondered how horror films work?

[ 24 ] October 23, 2014 |

For those of you who enjoy my breakdown of films — and in the spirit of Halloween — I’m going to link to this Vox article that I had no input into the choice of films selected or the techniques discussed.

In all seriousness, it was supposed to be a collaboration, but events intervened — so Todd had to settle for doing a fantastic job writing it up on his own.

As for my next AV Club column, it’s been pushed back a bit so it can take part in the site’s “Horror Week” theme. It’ll cover some of the same territory as the Vox article, but will be about Ringu.

Honestly, I wouldn’t even know what one looked like

[ 86 ] October 22, 2014 |

COP: Have you noticed anything unusual this morning?

SEK: Not to my knowledge.

COP: Nothing at all? Not even a…suspicious dump truck?

SEK: A suspicious dump truck? I’ve seen a lot of dump trucks across the street, at the construction site, but I don’t know what would make one suspicious.

COP: You know, like one that didn’t look like it…belonged with the other dump trucks.

SEK: Sorry, they look like a happy little dump truck family to me.

COP: I understand. Just keep your eyes peeled, and call me if you see anything suspicious.

SEK: Will do.

UPDATE: Someone did come in and steal all the dump trucks. Video here. Looks like someone will finally earn his Boy Detective merit badge…

DON’T FEED THE GAYS AFTER MIDNIGHT!

[ 18 ] October 20, 2014 |

Or get them wet — they love it when you get them wet.

“How many of the defiant white youths causing mayhem and destruction come from fatherless families? Where are the leaders in the white community?”

[ 49 ] October 19, 2014 |

Most days I hate Twitter. Thanks to #pumpkinfest today is not one of those days.

Cast of The Wire reunites!

[ 4 ] October 17, 2014 |

But only to disappoint you.

In all seriousness, though, you have to go to the 58-minute mark and listen to Seth Gilliam discussing how he and Domenick Lombardozzi stormed into Simon’s office and demand he do more with Carver and Herc. It’s beyond priceless.

But only because, as everyone knows, flamingos never lie

[ 22 ] October 10, 2014 |

As horrifying — and horrifying typical of fraternities — as this story is, I can’t help but note that if this same fraternity had done something to a woman, conservatives would insist the students get the benefit of the doubt because she could be lying.

Thanks to campus rape culture, flamingos are more likely to get justice than women.

An LGM podcast: SEK and Arturo Garcia discuss the Doctor Who episode “Listen”

[ 14 ] October 7, 2014 |

doctor-who-capaldi

This podcast is a bit of experiment in format, production, and distribution, as was necessitated by the death of the computer that had all the LGM podcast templates on it.*

If all goes well, at the bottom of this post there will be a podcast, and if you’re subscribed to the podcasts via iTunes, there will be one there too.

As for its content — as you well know, I’m a fan of Doctor Who, as is my Raw Story colleague Arturo, and we were talking the other day and thought, “You know what? Our conversations might could make a fine podcast.” So we’re trying it out.

Arturo is also the editor of Racialicious, and this podcast is basically a live-action version of the kind of conversations we have anyway. If there’s interest, we’ll do more of these. If there isn’t, you’ll merely have hurt our feelings and we’ll resent you forever. On that note:

Enjoy!

*They are in the process of being rebuilt, but it’s slow-going because once things work, I tend to forget how I got them to.  Also, Steve and I have two more Game of Thrones podcasts in the can — or sort of in the can, as I have to reconstruct them — and are planning on covering the second season before the next one starts.

Have we had an asshole of the day yet?

[ 131 ] October 5, 2014 |

If not, I’m gonna nominate this guy.

Spooky Halloween tales from rural Louisiana, Part 1

[ 37 ] October 3, 2014 |

It is 4 a.m.

I am alone downstairs, when all of a sudden, in the kitchen, I hear someone saying, “Hello? Is anybody there? Hello?”

“Hello,” I reply, and walk in.

No one is there — except for my cat, Virgil, who is sitting on the counter.

I shoo him away, think it must have been the thunder, or the early hour, that confused me.

Then my roommate’s phone rings, and goes to voice mail. Rings, and goes to voice mail. Rings, and goes to voice mail.

Finally, I walk into the kitchen, grab his phone off the counter, and say, “Hello, this is my roommate’s phone. Can I help you?”

“Is everything OK?” a man asks.

“Why wouldn’t it be,” I reply.

“I got a call, heard strange noises, then a muffled voice calling for help.”

I assure him that everything is OK, and he seems satisfied. As I place the phone back on the counter, I realize:

GOD DAMN IT VIRGIL YOUR ASS JUST SCARED THAT POOR MAN HALF TO DEATH.

THE END

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