THE MOFONGO INCIDENT

OLDMAN VIRGIL: FINALLY YOU MAKE ME MY MOFONGO

SEK: I’m making me mofongo.

OLDMAN VIRGIL: I AM PUERTO RICAN GIVE ME MY MOFONGO

SEK: You’re from Mississippi, you’re not —

OLDMAN VIRGIL: PUT SHRIMP IN MY MOFONGO

SEK: Get out of the kitchen.

OLDMAN VIRGIL: PUT PIG IN MY MOFONGO

SEK: Knock it off.

OLDMAN VIRGIL: PUT MORE PIG IN MY MOFONGO

SEK: Do not hop on the counter.

OLDMAN VIRGIL: [hops on counter] I AM PUERTO RICAN GIVE ME MY MOFONGO

SEK: [tosses OLDMAN VIRGIL out of the kitchen]

OLDMAN VIRGIL: [from the library] I AM PUERTO RICAN GIVE ME MY MOFONGO

SEK: Shut up!

OLDMAN VIRGIL: I AM PUERTO RICAN GIVE ME MY MOFONGO

SEK: [hears crashing in the library]

OLDMAN VIRGIL: WHAT I DON’T KNOW BEATS ME I DIDN’T DO IT

SEK: I didn’t say anything. I think I preferred it when you couldn’t jump quite so —

OLDMAN VIRGIL: TAKE THAT BACK YOU DON’T MEAN IT

SEK: You’re right, I’m sorry, that was awful of me to even —

OLDMAN VIRGIL: STOP YOUR WORDS APOLOGIZE WITH MY MOFONGO