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NFL Draft Open Thread

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Tonight begins the end of the NFL’s silly season, as months of right-wing white men putting 21 year olds through the ringer and then failing to evaluate them very well comes to a head with the 1st round of the NFL Draft. There is so much ridiculousness to talk about.

1) The sheer idea that Josh Allen could be the #1 pick is completely nuts. Here’s the problem with Josh Allen: He is bad at quarterbacking. OK, OK, he played at Wyoming and didn’t have great receivers this year. I get that. But watching him against Oregon, a team that had an improved secondary but still not a very good one, he was awful. It wasn’t so much that his receivers didn’t always get open, although they sometimes did. He underthrew balls. He overthrew balls. He wasn’t close on a lot of balls. And that summed up much of his season against those mighty, mighty Mountain West secondaries. But he’s tall, he’s white, and he has a big arm. For the NFL, nothing more is required, despite so many failures drafting this kind of QB in the past. But then again, he had some racist tweets many years ago, so his stock is now falling. I mean, I assume your average white NFL player is basically Richie Incognito who maybe shuts up about it a little more. But with everything overthought here, I guess this might hurt him. Also might save a team from overdrafting him.

2) Meanwhile, people are questioning whether Lamar Jackson can even play QB in the NFL. Now, I don’t claim any extra special QB evaluation ability. He might be good, he might not be good. But that, like every black QB, Jackson has to face this question and scouts wanting to turn him into a receiver is just racism. You would think after Russell Wilson and DeShaun Watson, to mention just two obvious cases, that a black QB who can move and who maybe doesn’t have a cannon for an arm but has had huge success would be seen as a model that can work. But it doesn’t fill a scout’s wet dream of a QB. So some team is probably going to get a steal, like Seattle and Houston did.

3) And then we have actual questions about whether a Jew can be an NFL QB, leading to Josh Rosen likely falling in the draft. I don’t know–when he moves around in the pocket, he seems a little globalist to me, if you know what I’m saying. He’s probably trying to lend money to his offensive linemen too! If the Patriots end up with him after all this, as some mock drafts are suggesting, I am going to put my head through a window.

4) Oh, and of course, we have scouts asking players if they are gay. Because we can’t have that now. Might make John Elway and Jerry Jones and the other upstanding owners and GMs of the NFL nervous and uncomfortable.

Anyway, all the talk of Pete Carroll, Draft Genius is finally over, as the Seahawks last had even an average draft in the first Obama administration and now will probably be bad for several years. Since they went all-in last year, they lack good picks. So this should be another exciting year of mediocre players being drafted. And let’s see how many disastrous picks the Browns can make, starting with #1. It should be a joy!

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