Home / General / Abannondoned! <del>I’ll believe it when I see it.</del> Update + 1

Abannondoned! I’ll believe it when I see it. Update + 1


Free to a good home: Man-sized carbuncle that thinks whites are superior to everyone else, despite the evidence presented by its mirror and the people around it. Not recommended for homes with children, pets, adults or anyone who doesn’t want a white supremacist auto-fellating itself on the living room couch.

President Trump has told senior aides that he has decided to remove Stephen K. Bannon, the embattled White House chief strategist who helped Mr. Trump win the 2016 election, according to two administration officials briefed on the discussion.

The president and senior White House officials were debating when and how to dismiss Mr. Bannon.

With some sort of trebuchet, would be my recommendation.

The two administration officials cautioned that Mr. Trump is known to be averse to confrontation within his inner circle, and could decide to keep on Mr. Bannon for some time.

You’re fired! See you on Monday.

A person close to Mr. Bannon insisted the parting of ways was his idea, and that he had submitted his resignation to the president on Aug. 7, to be announced at the start of this week, but it was delayed in the wake of the racial unrest in Charlottesville, Va.

Napoleorange needed him to write his pro-supremacy rants.

Even if he does go, I expect he’ll continue to piss out on behalf of tRump. One way to tell will be the response at Blightshart. Unfortunately this will mean reading Blightshart.


He’s gone. Thanks to commentarian Monty for the alert.

The Blight of Sharts is going with He wasn’t pushed, he jumped! Much angst in the comments.

What happening is even ?

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  • Space_Pirate_Harlock

    I am hoping his dismissal involves a rancor monster and a pit.

    • dmsilev

      I thought Bannon _was_ the Rancor.

      • wjts

        No – at least one person loved the Rancor.

      • Space_Pirate_Harlock

        Bannon is the Gamorrean Guard.

    • Hypersphericalcow

      It would be very fitting if Steve Bannon fell into the Sarlacc pit because somebody shot his jet pack and he crashed into Donald Trump’s floating sex barge.

      • JDTrust

        Thank you for testing my ability to block out unpleasant mental pictures in a moment’s notice with the words “Donald Trump’s floating sex barge.”

        May I offer in return Mother Pence’s PushUp Leather’n’Lace bustier and Electro-Drive 9000 PleasurePounder (“For Her *And* Him”)?

        [Note: No kinks were shamed in the execution of this post. Shaming people for their kinks is not appropriate– shaming people for hypocrisy, however, is universal open season.]

      • David

        As mentioned before…I will never be the same.

  • DN Nation

    Plenty of time to upload Nazi furry pr0n to DeviantArt now.

  • Shemp Marx

    Hi! As someone who has devoted decades now to plumbing the depths of the right-wing blogosphere and media emporiums, I’ll happily volunteer my services.

    • I may hold you to this on days I am feeling rather queasy.

      • Shemp Marx

        Mangoes! Getcher fresh mangoes right here!

      • Keep an eye peeled for the BatShit signal.

    • Karen

      I have some experience in mango-gathering. I will volunteer my services as well.

  • Hogan

    Headline at TPM: “Schroedinger’s Bannon”

    • farin

      [Schroedinger shakes box vigorously]

  • randykhan

    I’m hoping that you’re wrong about Bannon’s next act – I’m on board for him “helping” Trump by pointing out how disappointing it is to Trump’s core supporters that Trump is not doing things Bannon wants him to do. Bannon’s a chaos god (well, a chaos hemisemidemigod), and it seems like it would be hard for him not to act true to form.

    ETA: With the reports that the Breitbartians have declared war, I am hopeful that it will be even messier. That would be swell.

    • CP

      So, in the cult of the Nordic race that is Nazism, Bannon wants to be Loki?

      • JDTrust

        Not quite. In the Nordic race that is Nazism, Bannon wants to be Odin, sees himself as Loki, and actually *is* a privileged Dwarven princess at The Pennsylvania Avenue School for Improper Manners Et Alia.

        Also, for some reason, the words ‘quid pro quo’ and ‘Golden Parachute’ keep running through my head for some reason.

        • CP


          • JDTrust

            But you can toss one if you ask nicely and promise not to tell anyone about it afterward and it only happened once anyway…

        • Gregor Sansa

          With Trump, the parachutes are as golden as the showers.

          • JDTrust


      • Unemployed_Northeastern

        Steve Bannon comes from an Irish Catholic family, which means he wouldn’t have even been considered truly white by the sort of eugenicists and *race scientists* he adulates until about 1950. The lack of awareness is palpable.

        • CP

          You know what they say about the ideal Nazi. As blond as Hitler, as slim as Goring, as tall as Goebbels.

        • JDTrust

          On the other hand, that does lead to a potential scenario where Bannon stands up, and– in an outraged voice in the vein of “Richard Pryor from ‘See No Evil, Hear No Evil'” — declares: “You mean I’m not *white*?”

          I, for one, would happily purchase a ticket to see that.

        • CP

          Thread’s probably dead, but if not, I’m actually curious now –

          Bannon comes from an Irish Catholic family, which means he wouldn’t have
          even been considered truly white by the sort of eugenicists and *race
          scientists* he adulates until about 1950. The lack of awareness is

          Was this true in the case of the actual original Nazis? I know Anglo racists had a whole shtick about how the Irish weren’t really white, but I’d think the Germans couldn’t have cared less. Anti-Celtic racialism wasn’t really a thing on the continent anymore, was it?

          • Unemployed_Northeastern

            I’m thinking more along the lines of American and British eugenicists and *race scientists.* They tended to be social sciences professors at elite universities and divide Europe into several *races* based entirely upon confirmation bias and dislike of whatever group most recently immigrated.

            • CP

              Okay, that’s what I thought. I was just wondering if there’d been some version of that particular prejudice in Germany or elsewhere outside the Anglosphere that I’d simply never heard of.

      • IM

        perhaps Hagen.

        • Captain_Subtext

          That’s the Germanic Tradition rather than the Nordic one. Unless I am thinking of a different Hagen; he’s the one from Seigfried, right? The one who spears Siegfried in the back?

  • aab84

    Yet more proof that Trump will drop anyone he isn’t directly related to — and probably some of them too — the second they’re no longer useful to him.

    • Thirtyish

      I await the day when no one but the prodigal son and lust-object daughter Javanka remain.

  • FlipYrWhig

    Do we think this is Kelly saying “It’s him or me and if we don’t get order restored to this place ASAP we’re all going down?”

    • twbb

      And Bannon realizing with Kelly running interference his time is more valuable influencing Trump through Breitbart.

      The one thing I don’t understand is why he went after the white nationalists in that interview with the Prospect guy. Unless he was trying to clear his reputation before pushing Breitbart more into the mainstream.

      • brad

        I think the simplest answer is he was on some powerful drugs and the mania led him to say things in the moment. Meth and/or coke. And in case anyone thinks I’m just talking trash and hasn’t seen this….

      • Bluesmank

        ‘The one thing I don’t understand is why he went after the white nationalists in that interview with the Prospect guy.’

        Easy. No one in Breitbart-land will ever believe Bannon talked to the American Prospect, other than to troll the cuck Kuttner.

        ‘He was just joking. Now, let’s get to tearing down that lib-tard Kelly. This is all his fault.’

    • Gregor Sansa

      Right, but the over/under on Kelly lasting is a few months at most. And for Trump himself, about a year.

  • Gregor Sansa

    This move lowers the average IQ of both the remaining Trump officials and the set of ex Trump officials. In both cases, that’s actually saying a lot.

    • Unemployed_Northeastern

      Jared and Ivanka got into Harvard and Penn on their own merits.

  • Fine-tuned machine.

  • N__B

    Who’s gonna get the big white(heh)board?

  • N__B

    President Roslin knew how to eject an unwanted underling.

    • Lurking Canadian

      Will somebody please throw this Nazi out an airlock?

  • SomeTreasonBrewing

    Unfortunately, at least in the short term (before the next massive screw up), this increases the likelihood of getting something done.

    • Why? tRump’s still there.

      • SomeTreasonBrewing

        one fewer loudmouth bigot in the room. plus, sessions and gorka aren’t gonna be in the room for things like tax cutting.

  • Monty

    Nope, he’s actually gone


    The White House has announced that Steve Bannon would leave his role as chief strategist on Friday.

    “White House Chief of Staff John Kelly and Steve Bannon have mutually agreed today would be Steve’s last day. We are grateful for his service and wish him the best,” Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said in a statement.

    • Leigh Grossman

      I was sort of hoping they’d handle it in the traditional Nazi way and leave him in a room with a pistol and one bullet and tell him to do the honorable thing. Maybe that’s why Bannon spent his last issue distancing himself from the Nazis ?

  • I suggest either Oswalt, Hammill or Stephen Root to play him in the inevitable TV adaptation.

    • Bluesmank

      John Goodman?

      • kvs

        Philip Seymour Hoffman’s corpse. Reanimated or otherwise.

      • CP

        He did make a pretty good Klansman in “O Brother Where Art Thou.” And a pretty good survivalist lunatic in “10 Cloverfield Lane.”

    • Unemployed_Northeastern

      Casting Jerry Seinfeld would twist the knife on multiple levels.

  • waspuppet

    “Much angst in the comments.”

    Well, yeah. When your only philosophy is “piss off liberals*,” it’s hard to know where to come down on this dispute. They need to be told what to think.

    *(Not actual liberals, because you’ve never met one — the caricature Sean Hannity paints for you)

    • Drew

      Oh man I had a great time hate-reading those comments.

      • CP

        I really love the guy going “FUCK YOU Jared Kushner!” Of course it’s the Jews’ fault.

        I love even more the guy who says “I sent WH a telegrim just now: DEMAND YOU RE-HIRE BANNON, STOP. HE IS THE BRAINS STOP. THIS WILL NOT STAND.” Oh, Trump’s gonna react real well to that one.

        • Thirtyish

          Nothing, and I mean nothing, is more delicious and soul-quenching than nazi tears.

        • A telegrim being a giant ghostly dog-shaped omen of death that can be sent by wire.

          Do telegrams even exist anymore?

          • CP

            Do telegrams even exist anymore?

            1860s technology to match their 1860s politics.

            • kvs

              They’ll have you know that they aspire to 1830s politics, thank you very much.

              • CP

                After all that “our beautiful monuments,” they don’t get to claim that anymore.

          • SamR

            Last I checked, there were a couple telegram companies around. They market themselves based on the novelty, ie, if you send someone a telegram instead of a card or email, they’re more likely to remember it/keep it.

  • Egad
    • CP

      I’m pretty sure that’s a Russian aircraft, which makes this image even more perfect.

  • arangalanga

    I clicked on the Blight Shart link to see the comments. Who knew digital tears could be so delicious.

  • IM

    So he couldn’t ride the tiger either.

  • TomHilton

    On the one hand, this won’t change anything.

    On the other hand, it always warms my heart to see bad things happen to spectacularly shitty people.

    • LosGatosCA

      Have patience.

  • Cheap Wino

    Love the opening paragraph!

  • Ryan Denniston

    I’m sure Andy Lack can open up a space on weekend AM for him.

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