Home / General / Official LGM Valentine’s Day Dinner*

Official LGM Valentine’s Day Dinner*


When I was looking for the recipe for last night’s delightful meal recommendation, I ran across this classic seafood mousse dish that I thought would just be wonderful for all of you who are cooking a romantic Valentine’s Day dinner for your special someone.

Let me know if this helps make your day extra special.

* Not actually officially sanctioned by LGM. Or really, anyone.

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  • Expecting Python fans in 3, 2, 1…

    • You didn’t used canned salmon, did you?


  • Bill Murray

    gotta love the smile

    • Ken

      And sometimes ya gotta laugh or just start screaming.

      • JohnR

        The eyes! The horrible, horrible eyes!

  • Winchester

    Hmmm, it seems like a good alternative to pancakes.

    • Atticus Dogsbody

      If the pancakes were covered in goat vomit.

  • That picture is going to haunt my nightmares.

    • Who wants to eat the head?

      • rea

        With that smile? How could you?

        • Barry Freed

          You could always take it out to see a movie.

          • Linnaeus

            And you won’t have to pay to get it in.

            • grouchomarxist

              And it’ll never be seen drinking cappuccino in Italian resturaunts, with Oriental women

      • Barry Freed

        Put it on a stick and eat it like a corn dog.

        • DrDick

          Only if you batter and deep fry it first.

          • MAJeff

            I’m sensing a new booth for the MN State Fair.

            • DrDick

              Or in Texas.

              • The Dark Avenger

                Or Scotland, which has the Munchy box that doubles as something you’d feed to people climbing Mt. Everest, nutritionally speaking:

                Ingredients and nutrition

                The contents of a munchy box vary but may typically include kebab meat, fried chicken, pizza, chicken tikka, onion rings, pakora, naan bread, garlic bread, coleslaw, other fast foods and sauces. There is sometimes a salad item and, invariably, chips.[1][2]

                The energy content of sample munchy boxes has been reported as 1224, 2200[1] and 3000[2] calories while their salt content was estimated to be more than double the 6g recommended maximum for an adult. While it is not clear whether a munchy box is actually intended to be consumed as a meal for one[citation needed], there has been concern at the health implications if it is consumed in this way.

                • Hogan

                  And a couple three pints to wash it down.

      • AstroBio

        Thank you, but I don’t remember eating any part of it (except the olives).
        My Gran always made this, or a very similar tuna mousse for her Toastmistress Club meetings (maybe I was too little to go along). I still have her mold and all I could think of to do with it was make a cranberry fish at Thanksgiving.

      • BigHank53

        Eat it? I’m afraid to close my fucking eyes right now.

        • Barry Freed

          Choo choo!

        • This is the special touch I bring to the site. The nightmares of history–invading your personal nightmares!

          • Barry Freed

            Hey, man, you don’t talk to the Professor. You listen to him. The man’s enlarged my mind. He’s a poet-warrior in the classic sense. I mean, sometimes he’ll, uh, well, you’ll say “Hello” to him, right? And he’ll just walk right by you, and he won’t even notice you. And suddenly he’ll grab you, and he’ll throw you in a corner, and he’ll say “Do you know that ‘if’ is the middle word in life? ‘If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you, if you can trust yourself when all men doubt you’…” – I mean, I’m no, I can’t – I’m a little man, I’m a little man, he’s, he’s a great man. I should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across floors of silent seas…

            • Now I just have to gain 150 lbs and flush my career down the toilet and I’m totally set.

              • Barry Freed

                Includes your own private Pacific island!*

                *While supplies last.

            • Bill Murray

              he’ll throw you in a corner,

              Nobody puts Professor in a corner

        • When you look into the a-fish, the a-fish also looks into you.

  • rea

    Apparently carrot strips for the orange lines, and sliced olives (with pimento?) for the eyes . . .

    • Vance Maverick

      That’s what makes it a salad. (I’m pretty sure that even in 1973, this didn’t qualify as a soup.)

  • Funkula`

    Are we feeling a bit Lileks lately?

  • rickhavoc

    Sometimes that shark he looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. And, you know, the thing about a shark… he’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn’t seem to be living… until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then… ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin’. The ocean turns red, and despite all the poundin’ and the hollerin’, they all come in and they… rip you to pieces.

    • dave3544


    • Halloween Jack

      Anyway, we delivered the belly bomb.

  • I don’t…because why would anyone-I mean whatthefuck is that fucking thing

    • I knew you’d regret saying last night’s post was the most horrible thing you’d ever seen or whatever.


      • Ken

        Wait a minute, are you planning a series?

        Because there’s still a court in the Hague for people who do things like that.

  • CaptBackslap

    Frankfurter Bake,” brought to you by the Rice Information Service.

    • BlueLoom

      Reminds me of the “hot-dog stew” soup I was once served by a friend: same thing as oyster stew, except substitute sliced hot dogs for oysters. Basically hot dog slices floating in warm, lightly seasoned milk. I think that nothing I’ve ever been served as a guest has tested my manners to the extent that this soup did. (Yes, I ate most of it; it was horrible.)

  • Timurid

    Can’t sleep… fish clown will eat me…

  • herr doktor bimler

    I assume that steak tartare would be served molded into the shape of a calf.
    Come to think of it, we have a brain mold lying around somewhere.

  • grouchomarxist

    “But … it’s … smiling at us!”

  • DN

    This is just wrong. I was wiling to try the bannana and ham thing and it didn’t hurt (too much). Now this. I think you’re angry at us or something.

  • LeeEsq

    I’m not looking forward to the desert recipes.

  • knecht ruprecht

    Hmmm. Am I the only one who finds that recipe entirely unobjectionable? I wager that if waiter at a trendy restaurant served a slice of it on toast and called it the amuse bouche, no small number of you would enjoy it, if not single it out for praise in your yelp review.

    • Captain Bringdown

      “Entirely” unobjectionable would be going a little far for me, but I’d *much* sooner eat this than the “bananas benedict” recipe from yesterday. In fact, I wouldn’t really have any qualms about trying it if it were made with decent Italian tuna. Fresh herbs would also be preferable to the dried.

      • knecht ruprecht

        I’d *much* sooner eat this than the “bananas benedict” recipe from yesterday

        I think all right-thinking people can agree that hollandaise sauce from a mix is an abomination in the eyes of the Lord.

        • LeeEsq

          You only know that if you read the Talmud’s discussion on kashrut.

    • I wager that if waiter at a trendy restaurant served a slice of it on toast and called it the amuse bouche…

      …it wouldn’t be a fish-shaped lump with a fucking smiley face.

      Presentation counts.

  • Matt

    Now imagine you’re hung over, and somebody puts THAT in your face and then shakes the platter a little, so it wiggles.

    SPEW-O-RAMA. Perhaps coincidentally, also the first ingredient in the “mousse”.

    • knecht ruprecht

      Perhaps coincidentally, also the first ingredient

      I don’t see the problem here. There is a long and perfectly respectable tradition of cooking with gelatin.

    • knecht ruprecht

      Perhaps coincidentally, also the first ingredient

      I tried to reply to this, but my comment got eaten. Anyway, gelatin is a perfectly honorable ingredient. Google “Sülze” or “Galareta”. Or “chaud-froid”, a dish that originated with Carême, the father of grande cuisine.

  • burritoboy

    Ia Ia Cthulhu has risen! Worship Him!

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