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These Things Christian Conservatives Believe


If we can infer from their preferred prospective GOP candidate, their worldview is a logical extension of the Sermon on the Mount:  savage attacks on education and services for poor people and murdering innocent people and covering it up.

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  • firefall

    Aaaaand they dont want to back Bachmann because she’s a woman, even tho she’s otherwise crazy enough?

    The bit that I find hysterically funny about this is, Perry doesnt want to run. At all. He’d be on a hiding to nothing, despite what the hysterics are telling him, and he’s just about astute enough to work that out. Must be nice having all the ego-puffery without any cost attached, tho.

    • Crazy Eyes Bachmann believes she must submit to her husbands authority in all things. Because Big Gay “Dr” Bachmann is a big gay man, and if Michelle is elected Pres(shudder), a gay man will be the de facto President, albeit a self-hating closet case one.

  • Harry.T..he.Hat…

    I have this same conversation with my liberal sister. She, like you, complain that the Christian politicians aren’t bringing their religion into their jobs as decisionmakers for the rest of us.

    But,when discussing abortion, she complains that the Christian politicians *are* bringing their religion into their jobs as decisionmakers for the rest of us.
    I think she just uses all of this to further her minority view of the world to her advantage. No real position, just….ya’ know….Alinsky-Style whatever-it-takes kinda attitude.

    • Boudleaux

      “She, like you, complain [sic] that the Christian politicians aren’t bringing their religion into their jobs as decisionmakers for the rest of us.”

      Yes. Can you provide a quote where someone on the left made this complaint?

      • Malaclypse

        Just because Jesus says to feed the hungry does not mean we need to feed the trolls.

        • firefall

          Sure it does: Matthew* LXXVII: Blessed are the noisemakers, for they shall inherit the commentariat.

          *Drudge, presumably

        • Boudleaux

          God done made them trolls, too.

      • Harry.T..he.Hat…

        Can you provide a quote where someone on the left made this complaint?

        Just the Header of this post “These Things Christian Conservatives Believe” demonstrates that Scott is asking why Christians aren’t more like the Christians he thinks they should be while in office. He is asking the question. All of the issues he brings up are political.

        Doesn’t take a blind man….

      • MAJeff

        Folks…remember the eleventh commandment: Thou shalt not feed trolls.

        • Harry.T..he.Hat…


    • wengler

      So people that follow a strict orthodoxy can’t be hypocritical if they follow some doctrinal rules?

      The complaint here isn’t that they aren’t sufficiently religious, it’s that they are massive hypocrites.

      • hv

        The troll knows this; that’s why it’s called trolling.


  • Malaclypse

    Matthew 25 pretty much says it all.

    34Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:

    35For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:

    36Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.

    37Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?

    38When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?

    39Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?

    40And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

    41Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels:

    42For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink:

    43I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not.

    44Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee?

    45Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.

    • DocAmazing

      Literacy is Satan’s tool.

      • DrDick

        And a functioning brain is his playground. Feed your brains to Zombie Reagan!

    • Hogan

      Obviously “the least of these” doesn’t include people who are actually, you know, hungry or sick or in prison. They’re less than “the least of these.”

      • Harry.T..he.Hat…


      • hv

        I believe Jesus was against old-timey prisons, not our modern super-prisons.

        • Malaclypse

          Jesus was for the death penalty, without due process or appeal. The record speaks for itself.

    • DrDick

      My personal favorite passage for these issues. also the foundation for the bumper sticker on my truck: “The Road to Hell Is Paved With Republicans.”

      • herr doktor bimler

        Surely a bumpy ride.

    • mark f

      Matthew? Pshaw. I prefer the teachings of real prophets.

      • United Fruit Co. Representative

        you spelled profits incorrectly

    • Shorter Malacalypse:

      45 Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.

  • millions of unborn children

    I guess the cold blooded murders conducted against us don’t count.

    • several hundred thousand dead Iraqis

      Hey, take a number, pal.

      • Harry.T..he.Hat…

        several hundred thousand dead Iraqis

        Try this…or this.

      • NBarnes

        Born people don’t count, everybody knows that. And that goes double if they are born and brown at the same time.

    • Harry.T..he.Hat…

      I guess the cold blooded murders conducted against us don’t count.

      On this board…..NO. Unless you pass through a vagina, you don’t count here.

      You’re nothing.

      How many tens of millions again?

      • hv

        DNFTT has the bonus that you get to watch a sock-puppet play.

        • Emily

          It is kind of amusing to watch him talk to himself.

      • Boudleaux

        Pass through a vagina when, exactly? Does it have to be recently?

    • wengler

      I hope you are not comparing a developing fetus to me or any other living, functional human being.

      There is not a 1:1 correlation there nor even a 1:1 correlation between a fetus at 2 months and one at 8 months.

      • DrDick

        Not to mention that over half of all fetuses spontaneously abort.

  • millions of unborn children

    Well, sorry you were killed by other Muslims for being the “wrong” kind of Muslim, but we didn’t even get a chance to be born :(

    • Anonymous

      Pick better parents next time? Since you seem to have agency, somehow.

    • millions of philistines, canaanites, and jews

      Yeah well, we got to be born, and then your God’s dudes came along and killed us in cold blood. Join the club. We’re having jackets made.

      • United Fruit Co. Representative

        I hope the jackets have a nifty crest for isn’t it written … and ye shall know them by their heraldry

    • wengler

      Plenty of kids out there that have had the chance to be born are in desperate need of your Christian charity.

      Perhaps throw them a bone, eh?

      • United Fruit Co. Representative

        real Christian charity would include a little meat on the bones rather than a sermon

  • DrDick

    Anybody ever notice how these asshats are only “pro-life” from conception to birth? After that it is pretty much “Fuck you, Charlie, you are on your own. No give me that candy!”

    • Harry.T..he.Hat…


      • Shorter Harry.T..he.Hat: “Get a job toddlers! Bunch a fuckin socialist moochers.”

        • hv

          Shorter gocart mozart: troll food.

      • wengler

        You work the family to the bone on slave wages. They don’t have time for their kids and they certainly can’t afford the most basic things.

        You turn the culture into one where every part of society is monetized and commoditized.

        You don’t fund education because you hate taxes.

        • Harry.T.he.Hat…

          You don’t fund education because you hate taxes.


          I don’t want to federally fund education because I don’t want the federal government to have any influence over what it taught. When they do, it’s called indoctrination.

          Look, where I live we have Independent School Districts. They were designed to be funded locally through property taxes to reduce the influence of those who don’t live here. People need a public education system, but they don’t want those in New York, San Francisco or Washington, D.C. telling them what they can and cannot teach.

          Bottom line is you really need to think about the broader picture and ask yourself what the role of the federal government should be.

          • In other words, fuck the poor. What a surprise!

            • Harry.T.he.Hat…

              In other words, fuck the poor.

              No, I expect to fund the local schools at least (maybe even more)than they are funded now, but with local taxes only.

              That means I am willing to pay more taxes to support the schools.

              What a surprise!

              • …so in other words, fuck people who can’t pay much in local taxes; ie, the poor.

                I apologize abjectly for feeding the troll. I know that makes me some sorta jerk. But BOY OH BOY IS THIS ONE EVER DUMB.

              • Captain Splendid

                Hang on, I’m supposed to believe that you’ll happily have you local taxes raised but not your federal ones?

                Pull the other one.

          • Anonymous

            Why is it ‘indoctrination’ when the Federal gov does it and not so when the individual States control education policy?

            I think you might stick with the local control argument as it is at least internally consistent.

            My state also has Independent school districts. But the state board of education is dominated by morons. So I’d appreciate a bit of Federal interference.

            I suspect your desire is really to have your schools controlled by the level of government you feel you have the most control over. As is mine. So I’d suggest a balance between some Federal oversight of ciriculum and local control.

            • MAJeff

              Don’t feed.

    • They are also against pre-natel care for poor women so they are not even consistent in that respect DrDick.

      • DrDick


    • That’s the weird part of the whole philosophy: they’ll whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine about welfare queens, but an embryo/fetus is the ultimate parasite.

      • Welfare queens are black though, don’t you know that?

        • So are many dead fetuses.

          • Hogan

            I think once they’re aborted, they become honorary whites.

            • DrDick

              Snowflakes even.

        • L2P

          They can occasionally be government workers with juicy pensions.

          • True, but they are probably black government workers with juicy pensions who got their job through affirmative action, thus denying my son a job, a son who is a fuck up but he deserves it by god because I and my Dad had the job and because he’s a good white American.

            • And because his dad is county commissioner in Las Vegas, Mr. Rothstein, so if you could see your way clear to giving him a job…

            • Harry.T.he.Hat…

              …he’s a good white American.

              I really expected more from you than all this racist white-bashing.

              I am disappointed.

              • Read Comprehension: try some.

  • Pingback: The Right People Like Rick Perry | Man Are We Screwed()

  • owlbear1

    Christian Conservatives will believe whatever re-enforces their claims to being the chosen of Dog as long as it doesn’t endanger their standard of living.

  • owlbear1


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