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Archive for December, 2010

The Donalde rings in the new year…

[ 21 ] December 31, 2010 |

by encouraging people to commit crimes:

Keep those cards and letters (and fake Craigslist listings) flowing!

He claims that the fact that I taught a college freshmen who is currently projecting his or her issues onto me reflects my abilities as a teacher, and then includes my name in the title of his post in a deliberate attempt to undo the good deed I attempted to do — which was to make it possible for people who were contacted by the person committing identity fraud to discover the fact that I wasn’t the one who contacted them before, as happened earlier this week, that person takes a day off work in order to meet “me” so “I” could inspect the truck “I” expressed interest in buying.

The Donalde, it follows, hates working class people who are trying to sell their trucks to make ends meet.  He sincerely hopes men whose trucks I have no interest in buying continue to risk their jobs by taking days off to meet me.  For the sake of all working class people, I sincerely hope his plan fails and that people find my post before they risk losing their jobs.

Keep those cards and letters (and fake Craigslist listings) flowing!

2010 Predictions Review

[ 18 ] December 31, 2010 |

In accordance with the requirements of the Pundit-Blogger Accountability Act of 2010, here is my review of last year’s predictions:

Take it to the bank:

Number of seats Democrats gain/lose in House: -31 (-63)
Number of seats Democrats gain/lose in Senate: -3 (-6)
Barack Obama Job Approval 12/31/10 ( average): 51.1% (45.4%)
Coalition Military Fatalities in Afghanistan: 455 (709)
Coalition Military Fatalities in Iraq: 231 (60)
World Series Champion: New York Yankees (San Francisco Giants)
NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament Champion: Kentucky Wildcats (Duke)
#1 pick, NBA draft: John Wall
US Unemployment Rate 12/10: 9.6%(9.8%)
North Korean nuclear tests: 1 (0)
Russian submarine accidents: 1 (0)
Returns to Earth of Jesus: 0
Israeli airstrikes on Iran: 0
Number of Iranian Revolutions: .5 (0)
2010 World Cup: Brazil (Spain)
Post-election UK Tory MPs: 328 (321)
Number of US Senators from Kentucky named Rand: 0 (1)

Just… terrible. Terrible in every possible way. 4 for 17 ain’t good, and that’s being generous with the unemployment figure.  Nothing but a litany of Fail.  But hey, I just write this blog; for some reason you’re here reading it.  I resolve to do better in 2011:

World Series Champion: Philadelphia Phillies
College Football National Champion: Oregon Ducks
Heisman Trophy Winner: LaMichael James
North Korean Nuclear Tests: 1
South Korean Fatalities due to North Korean military action: 25
Russian Nuclear Submarine Accidents: 1
Israeli Strikes on Iran: 0
Sarah Palin Presidential Candidacies: 1
December 2011 Unemployment: 9.2%
Barack Obama approval rate: 50.1%
US GDP Growth, 3rd quarter 2011: 3.1%
Iraq Coalition Military Fatalities: 48
Afghanistan Coalition Military Fatalities: 650
Best Picture: Social Network
NFL #1 Draft Pick: Andrew Luck
Victor, Kentucky Gubernatorial: David Williams
# of Jonathan Pollards released: 0
US Supreme Court Vacancies: 1

Happy New Year.  Stay safe out there.

“A mingled mass of perverse ingenuity, of tinsel erudition, of imbecile credulity, and of artful misrepresentation”

[ 8 ] December 31, 2010 |

The UK organization Sense About Science has released its annual list of moronic celebrity health and diet endorsements. The roster of honorees is somewhat Anglocentric; deserving Americans like the galactically irresponsible Jenny McCarthy and shepherdess of woo Oprah Winfrey are nowhere to be found, though Shaquille O’Neal earns recognition for endorsing the scamtacular Power Balance bracelet — a cheap, hologram-festooned rubber band that millions of rubes have paid good money to wear, believing that it will supply them with magical powers of some kind or another. (Recently named CNBC’s Sports Product of the Year, Power Balance is little more than a reincarnation of the legendary Perkins Tractors.)

At any rate, the clear winner in the competition is “cage fighter Alex Reid,” who — though he does not avoid women — does deny them his essence.

Cage fighter Alex Reid took things much further with his tips for health this year. Giving his fans advice on how to prepare for a match, he told the Sun: “It’s actually very good for a man to have unprotected sex as long as he doesn’t ejaculate. Because I believe that all that semen has a lot of nutrition. A tablespoon of semen has your equivalent of steak, eggs, lemons and oranges. I am reabsorbing it into my body and it makes me go raaaaahh.”

Oddly enough, this is precisely how Dick Cheney has managed to stay alive all these years.

Friday Nugget Blogging

[ 0 ] December 31, 2010 |

“It’s gonna be the 2010s, Mom. Aren’t we supposed to be at war with the machines by now?”

Um… Read more…

An End of Year Analysis of the Three Main British Parties

[ 0 ] December 31, 2010 |

can be found over at UK Polling Report.  They’re insightful, comprehensive, and informative reviews of 2010 and previews of 2011 of the Tories, the Liberal Democrats, and Labour.  Not surprisingly, Labour looks in a slightly better position than the other two.

Oh, and while I was typically pessimistic, bow down!

Judy, Judy, Judy

[ 0 ] December 31, 2010 |

In fairness, when you’ve already been the keynote speaker for whatever they were calling Pajamas Media at the time,your journalistic credibility can’t really reach a lower point.

But We’ve Always Been Hacks!

[ 0 ] December 31, 2010 |

Shorter Tom Maguire: “I can’t believe Paul Krugman’s claims that ‘deficit hawk’ conservatives have become hypocrites and frauds who support deficit-exploding upper-class tax cuts, even as the oppose modest assistance to the poor and unemployed.  American conservatives have pretty much always been frauds and hypocrites who care about upper-class tax cuts and don’t care about the deficit.”  Point conceded!

NCAA: I Wish I Knew How to Quit You…

[ 6 ] December 31, 2010 |

Four brief points signifying my inability to resolve the contradiction between my contempt for the NCAA cartel and my love of college athletics:

1. Congratulations to the Stanford Cardinal on ending UConn’s 90 game win streak last night!

2. Mystified congrats to the Washington Huskies for beating Nebraska last night.  Wow.

3. I do think that the NCAA should adopt the NFL rule in situations like that which extended the UNC-UT game last night.  A 12 men on the field penalty shouldn’t serve as an informal extra time out.

4. LAMICHAEL!!!!!!

The NCAA Cartel and Integritude

[ 37 ] December 30, 2010 |

I’m sure that this will restore the dignity of amateur athletics, or something:

Ohio State players facing five-game suspensions next season would not have traveled with the team to the Allstate Sugar Bowl if they had not pledged to return in 2011, coach Jim Tressel said on Thursday. The five players, including quarterback Terrelle Pryor, have been punished by the NCAA for selling championship rings and memorabilia and taking discounts from a tattoo parlor.

Tressel said he wanted to make sure that the players wouldn’t “skirt the consequences” by playing in the Sugar Bowl, then declaring for the NFL draft and avoiding any punishment.” We told them they would have to make the decision on the NFL prior to leaving for the bowl game,” Tressel said at his first Sugar Bowl news conference. “It wouldn’t be fair to not face the consequences down the road.”

I sure am glad that Jim Tressel has his players best interests at heart, and wants to make sure that they learn disciplintegritude and what not. It would be a shame if these players “skirt[ed] the consequences” of the absurd NCAA sanctions that have been applied to them.

You know, for all that crap that John Calipari gets, I trust him (far more than I trust the NCAA) to have a degree of appreciation for the economic incentives that elite college athletes actually face. There was no misunderstanding in the relationship between John Wall and the University of Kentucky, and minimal lip service to the “amateur athlete” bullshit that apparently prevails at OSU.

Today in Casual Sexism

[ 17 ] December 30, 2010 |

According to one local announcer for the Houston Rockets, playing the Miami Heat is difficult because that

There are just too many holes in too many dikes and not nearly enough fingers.

His partner’s response?

You’ve got to be a real man to force your finger in a dike.

My response?


NOTE: Today was actually “last night,” and I may’ve have incorrectly transcribed “dyke” as “dike” in that second quotation there. I considered “dyke,” but since the announcer’s “hilarious” rape pun was clearly a pun, I left it as is.

You’d Think the President Had the Power to Staff His Branch or Something

[ 19 ] December 30, 2010 |

Shorter Jennifer Rubin: “I am absolutely outraged that, following systematic Republican obstruction of executive branch nominees, President Obama has used his legal recess appointment powers to appoint people Sam Brownback and Jeff Sessions would not appoint if they were president. What an outrage!”

Battle Scene Investigation: Towton

[ 10 ] December 30, 2010 |

Fascinating account of the archaeological investigation of the Battle of Towton.  “Nasty, Brutish, and not that Short” is really a fabulous title for an article.  I wonder which side the Farleys fought on; I’d like to think my ancestors had the good sense to fight for the Lancasters, the outcome of the battle notwithstanding.

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