And for Greenland sailed away
By 
I think they’re on their way home, so let’s have a recap of Second Lady Usha Vance’s Excellent Greenland Adventure, which became Usha & JD’s excellent trip to a U.S. military base. Good thing we’re not super concerned about unnecessary spending.
As you may recall, Greenland and Denmark were less than thrilled when Second Lady Usha Vance decided to visit Greenland with one of her children and Mike Waltz.
Vance, the wife of US Vice President JD Vance, will travel to Greenland this week to watch the island’s national dogsled race and “celebrate Greenlandic culture and unity,” according to a statement from the White House. National security adviser Mike Waltz is also expected to visit the territory this week, according to a source familiar with the trip.
Greenland Prime Minister Mute B. Egede called the US delegation’s trip to the island “highly aggressive” in an interview with Greenlandic newspaper Sermitsiaq on Sunday, and raised particular objection to Waltz’s visit.
“What is the national security adviser doing in Greenland? The only purpose is to demonstrate power over us,” Egede said. “His mere presence in Greenland will no doubt fuel American belief in Trump’s mission — and the pressure will increase.”
Here’s how the White House spun the visit.
The White House presented Vance’s visit as a cultural one, and said the second lady “will travel to Greenland with her son and a United States delegation to visit historical sites, learn about Greenlandic heritage, and attend the Avannaata Qimussersu, Greenland’s national dogsled race.”
No one believed them. Especially since the Dump keeps mumbling “Gimme Greenland,” National Lack of Security Adviser Waltz was going and the U.S. didn’t bother to clear the visit with Greenland or Denmark.
VP JD Vance wasn’t scheduled to go on the trip, but that was before one of Trump’s top officers accidentally included a reporter in the White House’s battle planning group chat and JD suddenly felt a pressing urge to leave the states for a bit.
I mean, do some security stuff. Or something.
Later on Tuesday, Vance announced that he would be joining his wife on the trip. In a video posted on X, formerly Twitter, he framed the trip around security and said that Trump wants to “reinvigorate the security of the people of Greenland because we think it’s important to protecting the security of the entire world.”
Vance’s comments on Europe make it clear that any “reinvigorated security” will come at the low, low price of Greenland’s freedom and any value the U.S. can wring out of it.
“I am not sure the president is aware how inconsistent this is with his message on Europe right now,” Vance added. Then, later in the exchange, he wrote: “I just hate bailing Europe out again.”
But did JDV’s sudden decision to get out from under his boss’ feet make for a warmer welcome?
The manager of a travel agency in Greenland told Newsweek that he declined a visit from U.S. second lady Usha Vance over fears it would be “a MAGA event.”
“We are known for our hospitality, and we welcome visitors from other countries as our valued guests,” Henrik Skydsbjerg, the manager of Tupilak Travel, said in an email.
“With this delegation however we were afraid that it would turn out to be a MAGA event [which] we did not want to be part of.”
…but how do you say “Hell no,” in Greenlandic?
U.S. representatives were reportedly seen knocking door-to-door in Nuuk, Greenland’s capital, to ascertain just how Vance’s visit to the Nordic island would be received. The answer? Not well.
“The Americans’ charm offensive mission has failed,” reported TV 2 correspondent Jesper Steinmetz, adding that locals have completely cold-shouldered the Vance family’s prospective visit.
American representatives were seen walking around the city, canvassing residents to see if people would be interested in a visit from the vice president’s wife.
“They’ve gotten no, no, no, no, no, every single time,” Steinmetz said.
The new itinerary: Fuck off to Pituffik Space Base (I swear, that’s what they call it.)
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