Happy Ba’al-idays! [Update]
By 
So are we doing the War Against Christmas thing this year or not?
I recently listened to an older podcast episode (2013) about a movie called Last Ounce of Courage. Care to guess what the movie was about?
If you guessed “Whiny righties upset because their right to celebrate Christmas has not been infringed in any way,” slap a shiny new Anti-Christmas Warrior medal on your chest, Citizen.
The podcast’s hosts were three 30ish(?) guys and at least two were running the standard male lefty humor extension, so they gave the movie and the concept behind it a comprehensive roasting.
But as I listened I kept looking at the episode’s release date and thinking “They ain’t seen nothin’ yet.”
The Great Starbucks Cup Freakout was still two years in the future and a few years after that the worst white Americans still sucking air were able to take advantage of the nation’s hijacked election system and install an ambulatory orange scrotum who claimed he would make it possible to say Merry Christmas again in the White House.
However, the episode did remind me that Twitter was my source of information for all things WAC and I stopped using it back in the summer. So what with one thing (stinking conference) and another (still the stinking conference) I entered the second week of December not knowing whether I needed to join in another imaginary all-out offensive on Christmas.
This year I did notice that thanks to previous successful imaginary attacks on Christmas, Costco didn’t start selling Christmas decorations until August, but a brief check of the internet shows one item from Jesse Watters (Faux) declaring victory because some town in Massachusetts decided to put a Christmas tree in the public library.
And apparently there’s a Santa Clause TV show (ugh) that kicks off with Allen Claus moping because saying Merry Christmas is problematic. (More ugh.)
But my top search result is an on-the-ground-in-the-mall report on this year’s WAC by Mrs. Betty Bowers. She seems pretty rattled, so things must be going well.
Enjoy, and then please share your strategies for stopping Christmas in the comments.
Update: Many thanks to Commentarion Hogan for passing along this hilarious holiday tale about the film, Final Dram of Bravery.
Last Ounce of Courage was the subject of a 2014 class action lawsuit. The lawsuit alleges that the film’s marketing team conducted a massive robocall advertising campaign, which was alleged to be in violation of the Telephone Consumer Protection Act.[9] In 2017, a federal judge awarded $32.4 million to the plaintiffs.[10]
Ha ha ha ha!
The movie brought in $3.3 million at the box office. That’s roughly one dollar for every call made (3,242,493). Ha hahahaha.
And oh my God, Mike Huckabee was involved.
Producers of Last Ounce of Courage, featuring a man’s stand for religious freedom in the face of government attack, hired AIC Communications to telemarket the film. In turn, former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee became the movie’s pitchman in a pre-recorded robocall. Huckabee delivered an anti-Hollywood message to get audiences to see it.
pHuck was dismissed as a co-defendant, but I bet he still collected his check. Or tried.
