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“We hate it when our [temporary black] friends become successful”


Let’s see how the GOP’s attempt to take Sen. Warnock’s seat is going (Washington Post, if you’re counting).

At a recent Republican donor retreat in Chicago, Herschel Walker was asked a question about fiscal discipline and balancing the budget.

OK. And how did that go?

The GOP nominee for U.S. Senate in Georgia replied with a long answer on Black Lives Matter and the police, failing to address the question, according to people with knowledge of the event.

Well swat my hind with a melon rind and hand me my Sunday shocked face.

Since easily winning his primary, his polling edge against Sen. Raphael G. Warnock (D) has become a deficit amid erratic campaigning, verbal flubs and disclosures about three children he had not previously spoken about publicly.

Who does this guy think he is, Boris Johnson?

Too soon?

The surprised reaction to Walker’s response was familiar to Republicans who have been tracking his struggling bid in one of the most competitive Senate contests in the nation.

I really need the names of the hinted-at humans who were surprised. I want to tell them about my once-in-a-lifetime offer involving a map to El Dorado, the entire Norwich City Council and a blow on the head. Or, fuck it. The spectacle of adults being shocked when they get exactly what they’ve been screaming for has never not been o-l-d, so just a blow to the head.

Of course, it is well understood by marginalized people that the higher a person’s social standing, the less able they are to believe those undesirable consequence thingies would have the audacity to happen to them. Add a steady diet of bigotry, which does to logic and reasoning functions what a half-stick of dynamite does to an ant hill, cram lots of people with both characteristics into a small space and voila! One inevitable result is a political party that, when it does decide to support a Black candidate, winds up trampling its collective shvantz then yelling “Owie, why does my dick hurt?”

And guess who they’re going to blame for the discomfort?

If the GOP had simply wanted a Black candidate to run against Warnock and to pull their usual “Neener, neener we can’t be racist, we have a black friend” stunt, they had other choices. Choices that didn’t have to move from another state. Dragging multiple accusations of domestic violence, debunked claims of academic achievement – that Walker later denied ever making – and rumors of unacknowledged children behind him. Of course, no Republican bothered vetting him because that would involve doubt, a lack of certainty that everything will go exactly as they want because they said so.

But the GOP wanted their perfect Black candidate and that meant someone who fits all the stereotypes that bigots have created for Black people. Not just to defend their fragile egos, and assure the majority of their voters that it is still committed to racism because those people suck, but to give Black people the finger and remind them: “See this ambulatory clusterfuck of a caricature? This what we think of you.”

So Walker was ideal. Even his collection of fibs about college must have given them warm fuzzies. It supported their belief that anything we say about our academic achievements must be a lie. Because not only are we liars, we’re dumb liars.

The fact that supporting him also gave them a chance to show they’re still in thrall to That Fascist Goiter was certainly a bonus, and if TFG was constantly following Walker around, squinting and flashing the thumbs he’s barely evolved enough to own, Walker probably wouldn’t be trailing Warnock in the polls.

Probably, because a party packed with racists is not a party that wants to see a Black person succeed, much less help them. Even if it is a (temporary) Black friend.

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