I see that in the Middle Eastern plotline of the increasingly implausible Showtime series we’re living in, we’re being served a mean parody of a Tom Clancy novel in which the president’s idiot son-in-law has declared that after having read [the summaries some flunkie generated for him] of two dozen books he has now brought a lasting peace to the Israeli/Palestinian conflict:
The president’s senior White House adviser and son-in-law told Sky News Arabia Wednesday about the work he’s put in to develop the proposal for the region.
“I’ve been studying this now for three years,” Kushner said. “I’ve read 25 books on it, I’ve spoken to every leader in the region, I’ve spoken to everyone who’s been involved in this.”
Trump unveiled his Middle East peace plan on Tuesday, with Israel’s Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu by his side. The plan calls for the creation of a State of Palestine with its capital in parts of east Jerusalem, while recognizing Israeli sovereignty over major settlements in the West Bank. The announcement was criticized for lacking in Palestinian representation and favoring Israeli priorities, and was immediately rejected by Palestinian leaders.
The fact that the plan was a joke that was immediately rejected by one of the negotiating partners is just a minor detail.
Please lie back and stop attempting to struggle. In case you might worry that I am not qualified to perform this surgery: I read 25 books. So you are in good hands. No, I have not done this before, but in a way, that makes me actually more competent. When I look at you, I don’t see all the problems people saw before: an aorta, and ventricles, and the little tube thing that pokes out. I just see solutions. I am going to put your heart together in a way that has never been tried, but I can guarantee (I read 25 books) that it will make everything 100 percent better, using synergies.
What books? You know, it’s weird and a little rude, actually, that you would ask that. They were definitely books, definitely pertaining to hearts, and I feel that reading them prepared me for this surgery. Think about this: People who do this for a living have sometimes failed. I’ve never failed. Maybe my attitude is what is needed. There are so many assumptions we make. Anesthesia is necessary. Blood is good to have inside the body rather than outside. People without hearts can’t live for longer than — some period of time! So much received “wisdom” we never stop to question. Maybe it’s time we threw everything we think we know out the window, as I plan to do with your heart when the surgery is complete.
So many blood types! Type A, Type O, Type AB — maybe those are just letters! Letters like the many letters in the numerous books I have read on the subject. Exactly 25.