Don’t get me wrong, spending time with abusive people and practicing addicts was never what I would call fun. But I do recognize the signs when one of the fuckers starts to realize that the karma fairy is coming for a visit.
America’s Mayor demonstrates, and gives a preview of what’s going to happen when D.T. finally understands that he can’t make an impeachment inquiry go away by shouting You’re Fired!
Even among the president’s closest allies, Giuliani is now the subject of scorn. When I reached him by phone this morning, following House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff’s release of the full whistle-blower complaint at the center of the Ukraine scandal, he was, put simply, very angry.
“It is impossible that the whistle-blower is a hero and I’m not. And I will be the hero! These morons—when this is over, I will be the hero,” Giuliani told me.
“I’m not acting as a lawyer. I’m acting as someone who has devoted most of his life to straightening out government,” he continued, sounding out of breath. “Anything I did should be praised.”
Wheee? OK, I know it is alarming. This country is being controlled by men with all the impulse control of a cruel and spoiled frat bro, and one of them can launch nukes. It is perfectly normal to wonder how to appease people like this when they start stamping around and shouting. But that’s why they stamp around and shout.
So I thought a rough translation of the shouting will help make it easier for those who aren’t used to this sort of thing to understand, bear and perhaps enjoy:
Oh fuck. My shit is so fucked up that I’m being fucked by my fucked up shit. I’m totally fucked. Shit shit shit shit. Quick, who can I blame for my totally self-inflicted fucked up shit? Fuck, blaming someone else didn’t unfuck my shit. Oh fuck! Fuck. Maybe if I yell at someone my shit will be less fucked?
Shit, I yelled, I yelled a lot got all violent it didn’t work. Fuck.
Consequences are soooo unfair!
Update: I’m not sure how I would translate posting screen shots of text messages with
Ukrainian State Department officials. Maybe a drawn out, incoherent shriek of denial.