Home / shit that you couldn't make up if it weren't true / Ammo Bundy & the Whack Snack Attack Gang, Pt. V

Ammo Bundy & the Whack Snack Attack Gang, Pt. V


I feel I have been neglecting Ammo Bundy & the Whack Snack Attack Gang, what are they up to now?

Demanding better pens while in the pen. What else?

Multnomah County did agree to give the defendants more than the standard six hours access to the law library on days when other inmates cancel their visits.

Jail officials said they would also consider giving Santilli and the other inmates access to “a laptop, iPad or similar device to review audio and video recordings.”

Due to an order that they be kept separate, the jail won’t let Ammo and his brother Ryan attend LDS gatherings. However, The sheriff’s office agreed to let them have extra towels to use as kneelers and to wear temple garments under their uniforms.

But the sheriff’s office also denied many requests from the inmates, including access to internet and chairs in their cells, access to other defendants so they can “strategize together” before the trial, unmonitored phone calls, a cordless printer and scanner, more storage space in jail cells, and “real pens.”


I assume the request for real pens is a reference to the flexible ink pens which are used in jail because … why am I even explaining this?

I can’t tell if the whole thing has Prison Break written on it in big block letters or if they’re just that spoiled. At any rate, they’re suing.

In his conclusion, Arnold said Ammon Bundy may pursue a civil rights lawsuit based upon U.S. Code Section 1983, which guarantees recourse for anyone who has been denied civil rights.

Ryan Bundy wrote a supporting statement. Try to guest which rights he says are being violated. Go on, try.

I. Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

II. A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

III. No soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

IV. The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Time’s up. Please put down your flexible pens.

“My rights are being violated. My right to life is being violated. All of my First Amendment rights are being violated. My right to freedom of religion is being violated,” Ryan Bundy wrote in a supporting statement. “My Second Amendment rights are being violated. I never waived that right. My Fourth Amendment rights are being violated.

Because – if I understand how Sovereign Citizening works – they believe they have to waive their rights before they can be subject to arrest or trial and then the state has to say “Mother may I?” and then … I don’t know really. I was not raised on the same planet as these people. Yay, me.

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