Fox News covers “Game of Thrones”: People think the White Walkers are evil just because they’re white!
By This is easily the goofiest thing I’ve written in some time, and it may have been for an audience of one — i.e. people who watch as much Fox News as I do and obsess over Game of Thrones — but here you go:
On “Fox & Friends” this morning, co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck was outraged by those criticizing Stannis Baratheon’s decision to sacrifice his daughter, Agamemnon-and-Iphigenia-style, to the Lord of Light. “There’s only one true god and his name is R’hllor,” she said, adding that “it’s a leader’s job to make the difficult decisions, and he should be applauded for doing so.”
“Of course,” co-host Steve Doocy said, “the real issue here is the troops. If Stannis had cut and run, they would have starved, and now they at least have a chance to die brave deaths while laying siege to Winterfell.”
“Some people would rather the troops starve than die honorably,” Hasselbeck said. “If Stannis tried to return to Castle Black, Shireen still might have died, and even if she didn’t, Jon Snow just let a bunch of Wildlings across the border. It’s not like she would have been safe there!”
“I think we should talk about that,” co-host Brian Kilmeade said. “Who is Jon Snow to be offering all these Wildlings amnesty?”
“No one’s talking about the rate of Wildling-on-Wildling crime, either,” Doocy added. “It’s high — much higher than in the White Walker community.”
Kilmeade agreed, arguing that “some critics” are bashing the White Walkers just because they’re white. “We don’t really know anything about them,” he said, “but we do know that, unlike the Wildlings, they’re not using precious resources that could be going to the troops. I’m not saying we should start a #WhiteWalkersMatter campaign or anything, but I’m not saying we shouldn’t either.”