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Marxist Lincoln

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Look, if you have mainstream Republicans looking to return the nation to the next Gilded Age, it only makes sense that really crazy right-wingers would be longing wistfully for the earlier period of slavery, interfered with by the same perfidious activist government bringing you such horrors as roads, sewers, and the Voting Rights Act of 1965.

Religious right broadcaster Kevin Swanson agreed with one of his guests that Abraham Lincoln imposed socialism on the United States during the “war against the South” – more commonly known as the Civil War.

Swanson hosted neo-Confederate author Walter Kennedy last month on his radio program, reported Right Wing Watch, where the pair argued the Republican Party had been founded by “radical socialists and communists.”

“The Democrats, both Northern and Southerners, believed in limited government, and the Marxists hated that concept,” Kennedy said. “They wanted to do away with states’ rights and limited government so that they’d have one big all-powerful indivisible government that could force its will upon the American people.”

Of course, the same guy said that Frozen was a plot to turn young girls into satanic lesbians. Given the plague of 2014, i.e, any gathering of more than 3 children between the ages of 4 and 12 singing that annoying theme song, I’d like to agree, but then I think, as a liberal, I objectively want all of us to become satanic lesbians, not to mention become Marxists that free black people from treasonous Confederates and their idiot racist Glenn Beck listening descendants longing to rape enslaved black women again without consequences. So sing away annoying 6 year olds, sing away. And then burn a crucifix, just like Barack Obama taught you.

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