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Sharktopus vs. EMP vs. Dinocroc

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This is a gift from the Heritage Foundation:

The SyFy channel’s newest original movie, Sharknado, took social media by storm earlier this month and continues to gain traction (a sequel is in the works). The tagline of the movie reads simply, “Enough Said!” because there is not much else to say about a hurricane causing tornadoes full of bloodthirsty sharks to rain down on land, ending life as we know it.

Fortunately, the threat of a “sharknado” hitting the United States is completely fictional and ridiculous. Yet, there is an apocalyptic threat for which the United States is utterly unprepared—an electromagnetic pulse (EMP) attack that would indeed end life as we know it

From now until the end of days, every time I mention EMP I will include a reference to it being mildly more likely than a Sharknado. However, I’m altogether unconvinced that an EMP attack is more likely than these other SyFy titles:

  • Aztec Rex
  • Attack of the Sabretooth
  • Chupacabra vs. the Alamo
  • Dinocroc
  • Dinocroc vs. Supergator
  • Mongolian Death Worm
  • Megapython vs. Gatoroid
  • Megapirahna
  • Mansquito
  • Piranhanconda
  • Sharktopus

The Heritage Foundation has yet to respond to my inquiries on this subject, but I’d peg EMP as slightly more likely than Piranhaconda, and slightly less likely than Mansquito. More seriously, it’s been fun to watch the slow spread of EMP “panic” through the right-wing think tank/journalistic community. Four years ago an editor of the Weekly Standard could tell me that he didn’t take EMP nuttery seriously; now I doubt that anyone would be willing to be so forthcoming. EMP does a bunch of stuff for the right wing defense community, including provide an excuse for missile defense, an excuse for preventive war, and an excuse for funneling tremendous amounts of money to firms that will “secure” America’s electronic infrastructure.  Why let the fact that it’s mostly nonsense get in the way of that?

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