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Poorly Designed Crime


For reasons out of my control, half of my life is now traveling around seeing statues of virgins, which is especially exciting since I’m not a believer. Thus, I’ve seen this virgin where an outrageously poorly designed crime was executed:

A Bolivian judge has ordered a 34-year-old priest jailed in the theft of the sumptuous collection of gem-encrusted gold jewelry that bedecked a statue of the country’s patron saint, the Virgin of Copacabana.

Also under arrest in the case is the female owner of a hostel where the Rev. Jesus Cortes was lodged when the jewels disappeared April 22 from the basilica in the town on Lake Titicaca’s shore.

The jewels removed from the statue, which was carved in 1580, are worth an estimated $1 million.

Cortes was arraigned Wednesday. He lives in the eastern city of Santa Cruz and was helping out while the church’s pastor was abroad.

Authorities say Cortes was the only member of the church staff who was not mysteriously tranquilized the night of the theft.

Am I the only who thinks this guy deserved a long sentence for being stupid? Hello! You have a partner in the hostel owner. Make a copy of the keys and then tranquilize yourself and have her come and steal the jewels. Gee, I wonder what people will think when I’m a priest from a different part of the country and I drug everyone and walk off with the jewels from the most important virgin statue in Bolivia?

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