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Call The Authorities!!!!!


OMG, someone alert the authorities. Dr. Erik Loomis of the University of Rhode Island has Buster Keaton’s head on a stick. He is responsible for the murder of said actor. Nevermind the fact that Keaton died in 1966, nearly a decade before Loomis was born. His heads on sticks metaphor has gone too far. Not only has he killed some of Hollywood’s leading actors, but he has literally put their heads on sticks and flashed them before cameras. Has he no shame? How can taxpayer dollars support the employment of such a scoundrel. Even worse, he makes his students watch silent films, an outrage which knows no boundaries.

I call for a witch hunt against Loomis. Since in this case there is no metaphor, I won’t be accused of being an disingenuous lying moron by pretending like I take this threat seriously. See–it’s right there in front of you!!

I’ll heat up the tar if you provide the feathers!!!

In all seriousness, I can’t believe I forgot about this picture until now. I took it at a showing of Steamboat Bill Jr. in Seattle last summer. They provided audience members with pictures of Buster Keaton on sticks. Clearly my life has led to this moment.

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