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“Dismember the Corpse and Send the Widow a Corsage.”

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It’s the strangest thing. Taking a team that had zero quality offensive players not on their offensive line and adding nothing of interest but a shitty backup QB who would also be an immense distraction seemed like a great idea, but apparently it’s not working. Odd.

I must, say though, that as a Seahawks fan I was just terrified by the prospect of seeing Tim Tebow in the game Sunday, just like I was terrified by the possibility that the Republicans would run Sarah Palin or Newt Gingrich for president. I mean, you never knew what would happen — a 3-yard run up the middle? A sidearm screen pass? A timeout because nobody knew who was supposed to be behind center on a given play? It was a very tense experience. And noted offensive supergenius Tony Sparano didn’t even haul out the most frightening artillery of all — Mark Sanchez lining up as a wide receiver.

The punchline is that Jets owner Woody Johnson, having pulled himself up by his bootsraps by inheriting the Johnson & Johnson fortune, was a major Mittens fundraiser:

“One of the reasons Coach Ryan was successful is that he believed in his defense. He said, ‘You are a great defense.’ And he said that day one, we’ve got the best defense in the league. We were 25th in the league and he said, ‘I’ve got the best guys here’ and you know what? It turned out that way. And I think when Mitt Romney is president it will be the same thing, because he knows how to do this.”

And when Mr. Romney went looking for a local finance chairman, Mr. Johnson was, according to Mr. Lazio, “the number one draft pick—a franchise player.”

If Johnson ran his fundraising the way he runs his football team, Karl Rove must have gotten some really juicy profit margins out of the deal.

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