I’m not sure why conservatives are panicking about the responses of Romney’s spokeperson, Al Swearengen. They seem rote enough to me:
CNN: Governor Romney are you concerned about some of the mishaps of your trip?
AL SWEARENGEN: We’re forming a fucking government, you loopy fucking cunt.
NEW YORK TIMES: Governor Romney, do you have a statement for the Palestinians?
AL SWEARENGEN: You’re the cocksucker. Change the fucking angle.
WASHINGTON POST: What about your gaffes?
AL SWEARENGEN: Get a fucking haircut. Looks like your mother fucked a monkey.
CNN: Governor Romney just a few questions sir, you haven’t taken but three questions on this trip from the press.
AL SWEARENGEN: We’re illegal. Our whole goal is to get presidented to the United fucking States. We start answering questions, what’s to keep the United States fucking Congress from saying, “Oh, excuse us. We didn’t realize you were a fucking sovereign community out there. Where’s your cocksucker’s flag? Where’s your fucking navy, or the like?”
CNN: Would it hurt to let us …
AL SWEARENGEN: … say you’re a pain in my balls that can’t desist from inquiry till told to shut his fucking mouth?
CNN: I’d rather not any of that.
AL SWEARENGEN: Don’t I yearn for the days when a draw across the throat made fucking resolution. Pain or damage don’t end the world. Or despair, or fucking beatings. The world ends when you’re dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man and give some back. That’s the fucking sum and substance of it.
CNN: So you support—
AL SWEARENGEN: I will profane your fucking remains, CNN.
*I do so love literature.