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He tends to make more sense when you lift his head out of the toilet bowl

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Just in time for Confederate Inauguration Day, there was this bit of soul-coughing indignity from some fellow at Redstate last night.

Our hero — who answers to the rustic handle of “haystack” — found his man-thong in a twist after reading a Frank Rich commentary which dared to point out that Republicans tend to be . . . you know . . . white and that no small part of that fact can be explained by white hostility to the expansion of black civil rights in the 1950s and 1960s. Among other things, haystack scoffs at Rich’s refusal to curse the negroes who torched his own father’s shoe store during the 1968 riots. By refusing to acknowledge his authentic historical grievances, Rich is denied the right speak for or about white Southern men; that is to say, Rich fails to partake in the Great Absolution in which white men near and far toss their hands to the sky and declare that “Black People Wanted to Kill Me!”

While I may be nine years Rich’s junior, I actually STAYED for the mayhem that began in April of 1968 (I was 10), and the racial HELL that carried on through my entire Junior and Senior High School life. See, unlike Mr. Rich, I was (as a white kid in a white neighborhood) bused to a black neighborhood starting in the fall of 1970 (7th grade). I seem to remember an entirely different world than the one Mr. Rich glorifies, and I lived only a handful of miles away – just over the Maryland border…a simple enough bicycle ride back then through Queenstown that would likely see me killed were I to try such a ride today.

Having established his credentials as Someone Whom Black People Wanted to Kill, haystack continues his epic-length description of why Frank Rich don’t know shit.

As a down-line Confederate, I know of a reverence for God, a deep-rooted respect for my elders, a conviction that a Government is only as good as the independent and strong-willed people who fight FOR her, and a belief that the Federal Government is BEST that governs States the LEAST – this being emblematic of a Republic that was founded with the intention of ensuring as much for her citizens. What I ALSO know, is that anyone that believes such things today are considered racist, or worse. Look, I am derived from Confederates who often-times found themselves indentured servants, so it’s not like there’s any anti black mentality in my blood-we had as much to lose as anyone else…but we DID appreciate the meaning and value of fighting for what what we believed in-black, white, green, yellow or anything in between…the difference here is that the Democrats want you to believe any who might question such platitudes now must therefore be deemed rednecks. My ancestors, and yours, are rolling in their graves. The Confederate flag might have flown over some dark days of this republic, but that’s not to suggest that the ideals of the Confederacy, beyond the darkness of slavery, should be lost in the translation. That flag flew to represent an America that stood up for a people and a belief that a Federal Government had no place in deciding the business of the States’ right to determine their futures.

For good measure, of course, we’re reminded for the billionth time or so that Democrats were once the party of white supremacy and that modern liberals like Frank Rich won’t “take responsibility” for that legacy — “taking responsibility” being code for “harping endlessly on this irrelevant historical fact for the sole benefit of the Republican Party.” (To the author’s credit, though, he doesn’t remind us that Robert Byrd Was a Klansman [TM]). But the real treat here is the author’s ingenious formulation of a “Confederacy beyond the darkness of slavery” — a phrase that bears as much sense as “a fish beyond the oxygen-rich environment of the aquarium.” After all, the Confederate Constitution permanently safeguarded human property at the national level, and in so doing created a government that would have been utterly hostile to “States’ rights” if any particular state decided to abandon the institution. And when they fought for “what [we] believed in,” they fought for a national government thrown down on a cornerstone of slavery. Why neo-Confederates can’t “take responsibility” for this is quite beyond my imagination.

(Via a tip from Thers, whose blue language I frequently plagiarize.)

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