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Saddam was fluoridating our water, too!


Scott and Ezra, predictably enough, have rushed to judgment on the question of Iraq’s ties to Al Qaeda. Sure, we could rely on declassified reports that undermine one of the administration’s central cases for war (a case that Dick Cheney among others continues to make in public.) And we could assume that because this latest report reiterates what most authoritative sources — including the September 11 Commission — have been arguing for several years, it would be reasonable to grant the DoD’s assessment a certain measure of legitimacy.

But wouldn’t it be irresponsible of us not to consider the possibility that some dude’s self-published e-book might offer a more reliable, alternative account of Saddam’s vast Islamic conspiratorializing? Bob Owens thinks so, and he’s already prepared to state that “If the conclusions made are supported, it may just be the most important book released since the beginning of the War On Terror.”

And what might those conclusions be? Glad you asked:

2. Documents provide strong evidence that Saddam was the instigator and ultimate mastermind behind the Battle of Mogadishu in 1993. They also provide evidence to suspect that Saddam was complicit in the Millennium Plot as executed by al Qaeda against the United States. Furthermore, documents reveal what may be foreknowledge by Saddam of the American anthrax attack that occurred within days of 9/11 . . . .

4. Saddam corrupted mightily. He used pacifists, leftists, and even environmentalists to spread his propaganda. His intelligence agencies claimed to have sources all over the world in sensitive organizations, including the UN and the American media . . . .

6. For the sake of history we make the startling revelation that during President Bush’s 2006 State of the Union Address, a spy for Saddam Hussein sat with the First Lady, Laura Bush. It should be noted that it was practically impossible to know this, and at the time the man was a leader of the Afghan reform movement that supported the overthrow of the Taliban.

This is what separates hacks like us from true citizen journalists like Bob Owens. Have we forgotten the One Percent Doctrine already?

Failure of imagination, guys. Failure. Of. Imagination.

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