My New Kentucky Home

By a 2-1 vote, the Central Committee of Lawyers, Guns and Money has decided to establish a “Red State” bureau in Lexington, Kentucky. It is believed that much of our appalling performance in the Central and Mountain time zones can be attributed to the lack of a “Red State” presence.

Also by a 2-1 vote, the Central Committee of Lawyers, Guns and Money has decided to make me LGM’s Lexington Bureau Chief. I will relocate to Lexington in August, and immediately begin observation of red state activities. In addition to general observation, I will assess local levels of gun ownership and begin developing lists of reactionaries to be detained in the wake of the Revolution.

I will also serve as a post-doctoral fellow in the Patterson School of Diplomacy and International Commerce at the University of Kentucky, where I will teach one class each semester to roughly 20-25 graduate students. My autumn course will be Defense Statecraft, and my spring course will be Problems in National Security Policy.

So, anybody live in Lexington? If so, can I sleep on your couch for, oh, around nine months?