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I want to — but can’t — hate the person who roped me into this conversation

[ 57 ] August 13, 2015 |

My email was added to some conversation about whether or not Robert E. Lee was a racist or a patriot, the majority of the claims made therein were beyond ridiculous, but I ignored it because I’m not one to feed trolls who write things like “You sought to destroy the legacy of a truly great man, and you were called on by alpha males, so shut up and crawl back in the sewer you came from.”

But the sentence that followed that was one up with which I could not put, because it was delivered with absolute seriousness: “Don’t mess with bulls, you’ll get the horns.”

To which I responded, because as a child of the ’80s, I couldn’t not:
Read more…


The Swearengen Times: A Coarser Publication for a More Profane Time

[ 17 ] August 13, 2015 |


I’m fucking terrible at writing headlines, so I hired me a cocksucker who can:

Campaign dispatches from alternate universe America

[ 45 ] August 5, 2015 |

You know you want to live in this universe — you know you do.

Quick Salon labor update

[ 7 ] August 1, 2015 |


More information here. Yes, someone at Salon should actually cover this, but we’re all exhausted beyond the telling, so it’s going to have to wait.

Also, in terms of the clickbait-to-content ratio at Salon that Other Scott’s complaining about, it’s worth juxtaposing the sudden reappearance of Paglia with the current labor dispute and wondering if there isn’t some sort of connection between the two, as was alluded to in the previous IBT article.

Jonah’s got some competition!

[ 15 ] July 23, 2015 |

On paper, the race looks a less close than when you actually hear the words exiting his mouth in the video:

On “Hannity” Wednesday night, host Sean Hannity spoke to the man behind the Planned Parenthood hoax, and as you can probably guess, the conversation wasn’t going to be about the way in which the videos were deceptively edited.

“For the past two-and-a-half years,” David Daleiden said, “the Center for Medical Progress conducted a long-term, in-depth, comprehensive investigative journalism study,” a self-assessment that rivals Jonah Goldberg’s claim that “Liberal Fascism” would be “a very serious, thoughtful, argument that has never been made in such detail or with such care.” Patent overcompensation notwithstanding, Daleiden said that the purpose of this “study” was to determine “how exactly Planned Parenthood harvests and sells the body parts of the babies they abort.”

That those body parts aren’t actually sold — Planned Parenthood is reimbursed for expenses related to the delivery of the specimens — isn’t the point. Hannity didn’t invite Daleiden on to interrogate him, after all…

You don’t need to have attended my Internet Film School to spot the glitches in the Matrix in the Sandra Bland arrest video

[ 54 ] July 22, 2015 |

Given what the Waller County Sheriff’s Department didn’t edit out, I shudder to think at what they did.

The only problem I had was narrowing the list down to eight

[ 58 ] July 21, 2015 |

On the heels of his very stupid statements about shark attacks yesterday, I decided to remind American why Brian Kilmeade of “Fox & Friends” is a national treasure:

Brian Kilmeade is, without a doubt, intended to be a walking punchline on a program already full of them — “Fox & Friends” co-host Steve Doocy’s area of expertise is, after all, being a man who eats — so when he wondered yesterday why “they” don’t just “have a way of clearing the waters [of sharks] before a surfing competition of this level,” most observers weren’t surprised that Kilmeade believes we have the technology to rid the oceans of an entire class of animals.

But instead of lingering on whether he thinks America has a shark-vacuum, a laser-equipped satellite capable of identifying and eliminating sharks from space, or a weather-controlling machine capable of suctioning up the offending fishes in a series of spectacular sharknadoes, we here at Salon thought it would be better to remind readers of the greatest things Fox News’ resident man-child has said, beginning with…

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell podcast — Episode 3 — “The Education of a Magician”

[ 4 ] July 17, 2015 |

This is a video because my computer’s corrupting files I process on it for no particularly good reason. I’ll post audio and publish this on iTunes as soon as I beat down this machine.

Anyway — enjoy!

David Brooks accuses Ta-Nehisi Coates of “distorting history”

[ 222 ] July 17, 2015 |

So SEK takes David Brooks behind the woodshed. Sample:

The condescension of the privileged is a many blinkered thing, so it’s not surprising that it appears in many forms throughout Brooks’ “letter.”

There’s the knowledgeable lecturer — “You obviously do not mean that literally” — and the old man with children on his lawn — “You reject the dream itself as flimflam.” There’s the backhanded compliment — “You’ve filled my ears unforgettably” — and the historical apologist — “There’s a Lincoln for every Jefferson Davis.” And then there’s whatever this is — “The last year has been an education for white people.”

Making black deaths at police hands about the education of white people is an asymptotic display of white privilege. I take that back — it doesn’t just approach, it actually aspires to whatever the infinite expression of white privilege should be.

Operation Jade Helm 15: Life in Obama-occupied Texas

[ 45 ] July 16, 2015 |

I have a reporter embedded in Dallas, and it doesn’t look good for America, people.

Bill O’Reilly is extremely unhappy with me

[ 60 ] July 15, 2015 |

But since I don’t have a nationally televised show, I had to respond the only way I know how — with my words and what I say*:

According to O’Reilly, I set the narrative marching orders for some vast liberal media network from my downstairs office in Prairieville, Louisiana — which is, of course, well known as a hub of violent leftist dissent…

Of course, O’Reilly followed his complaint about my criticism of him by doing precisely what I criticized him for doing, because if you’re going to be tone-deaf, there’s no reason not to go all in, I suppose.

*Being a reference to to the finest student complaint ever, not merely me being redundant.

What does an intellectually dishonest review look like? Just ask The Economist!

[ 221 ] July 14, 2015 |

The Economist’s review of Ta-Nehisi Coates’ Between the World and Me was predictably atrocious, but having just read the book this morning — and remembering the publication’s record on reviewing books about race — I thought it best to subject the atrocious thing to the kind of punishment all of its ilk deserve. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.

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