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Campus preachers can’t take the heat, whine to conservative “news” outlets that anthropology professor won’t vacate the kitchen

[ 117 ] April 25, 2014 |

This is some delicious whining on the part of campus preachers — you know, the guys who stand outside buildings screaming at strangers while classes are in session:

“He asked me if I had accepted Darwin as my lord and savior,” Karns said. “He was very demonstrative.”

But that’s not all!

“As I was pointing to Christ,” he said, “I was talking about the sin nature — I said, ‘There’s probably some people out there—maybe even professors — who think they descended from monkeys.”

At that point, Boster “jumped off the ground and came running over and basically started screaming, ‘I did not come from a monkey! I came from an ape!’”

Karns claimed that Boster’s behavior — i.e. the spot-on impersonation of campus preachers like Karns — was “very unbecoming of a professor.”

I only wish he’d lacked the self-awareness to say something like “that sort of behavior doesn’t belong on college campuses,” since that was exactly the professor’s point.

I’m so glad Facebook has rendered reunions obsolete

[ 123 ] April 25, 2014 |

A high school acquaintance just sent me a message on Facebook saying he was blocking my updates because what I do “is despicable” — and this person’s official job title is, I kid you not, “Foreclosure Specialist.”

That’s right: a “Foreclosure Specialist” just called me “despicable.”

According to the message, he’s upset because his wife is having second thoughts about the gays after reading this article I wrote yesterday. He said, “she thinks they might be capable of Christian love now,” meaning that he’s done lost control of his woman.

As for me?

Apparently I’m doing a damn fine job of gayin’ up the South, one thumbed under house-wife at a time.

Kids are, and say, the damnedest things

[ 44 ] April 25, 2014 |

Child of a blood relative of SEK’s roommate, upon learning that SEK’s not a blood relative of his roommate:

CHILD: So, do you have a last name?

SEK: No, actually, I was born without one.

CHILD: God let you do that?

SEK: Yes.

CHILD: Can you get him to take mine back? I want mine to be ‘Pouncing Cat.’

SEK: I’ll see what I can do.

I know it’s wrong, but in my mind…

[ 13 ] April 24, 2014 |

…I hear Alice B. Toklas, as written by Gertrude Stein, saying this:

I don’t see where the ashes of a couple old lesbians is going to hurt anyone.

I’m just going to leave this headline in the post and let you savor it…

[ 91 ] April 23, 2014 |

Ahem:

Prosecutors: Cuckolded husband’s tape proves Dinesh D’Souza knew he broke campaign laws

So much to savor! So very, very much!

That’s O. Henry, Professional Oracle, to you sir

[ 9 ] April 23, 2014 |

Call it a modern day version of “The Ransom of Red Chief,” if you must.

Fox News and its resident God-botherers would have you believe that it was the fact that the child sang a spiritual that led to his release, but just listen to that boy sing.

It ain’t his angelic voice that earned him his freedom.

SEK’s Game of Thrones Recap

[ 210 ] April 21, 2014 |

gotrecap4

You can read my full recap here, but just in case you want to know where I come down on the episode’s most controversial issue:

Speaking of still being alive, Jaime Lannister is, and he’s a man, and he has needs. In a reversal of the Jaime-is-becoming-a-better-human-being plot, here we have a sex-starved Jaime raping his sister over the body of their dead child — in other words, we have a return to the incestuous relations that make King’s Landing the city we love to hate.

As for whether it’s a rape, director Alex Graves told Alan Sepinwall that “it becomes consensual by the end, because anything for them ultimately results in a turn-on, especially a power struggle.” Which means, yes, it’s rape.

So, there’s that out of the way…

Lawyers, Guns & Money podcast: Game of Thrones, Season 4, Episode 3: “Breaker of Chains”

[ 11 ] April 21, 2014 |

SEK & Steven Attewell on the new episode of Game of Thrones. Enjoy!

Audio available here.

Purchase Steven Attewell’s Race for the Iron Throne: Political and Historical Analysis of “A Game of Thrones” at that link. You know you want to!

So this new FDA proposal is environmentally unfriendly and raises the price of beer?

[ 40 ] April 20, 2014 |

In that case, why

not support it?

Oklahoma’s war on science is going exactly according to plan…

[ 75 ] April 18, 2014 |

…unless, of course, you believe students who complete a sophomore biology course are supposed to know less about evolutionary theory after taking Biology I than they did before.

In America, even the air is racist

[ 6 ] April 17, 2014 |

It turns out that the quality of the air you breathe might be related to the color of your skin — even after adjusting for income.

Great job, air!

Ask Steven Attewell anything!

[ 34 ] April 16, 2014 |

He’s got an AMA over there on that reddit thing, and you’re more than welcome to join in the festivities.

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