If I were planning on going out on a high note…
By ..this would probably be it:
I liked talking to you @scottekaufman. You are not an internet asshat. Well done @Salon for hiring him. https://t.co/MaC2DO9Aeh
— Craig Ferguson (@CraigyFerg) September 7, 2015
Once upon a time, and for many, many years, Craig Ferguson was my best friend. The feeling wasn’t mutual, as that’s not how television works, but like hundreds of thousands of insomniacs, the Scottish comedian was a nightly companion, a reprieve from the crushing anxiety of insomnia. Instead of watching the minutes crawl across the clock, each one bringing you that much closer to the moment in which the charade of sleep would have to be abandoned, you’d hear the doorbell ring and watch a pantomime horse dance out of the wings while a gay robot skeleton wiggled his wrist to the beat.
Maybe you were awake, maybe you weren’t, it didn’t matter — you weren’t curled in a corner of your bed dreading the break of day. How could you not come to love the man who stayed your execution nightly? And how could not freak the fuck out when that man’s assistant calls you up and said, “Scott, I’ve got Craig on the line for you.”
Fortunately, there’s a bit in his new special about how flustered he was the first time he met Mick Jagger…