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No Labels, No Method, No Guru, No Teacher, No Clue

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This is a thing that was actually published at the Politico dot com website:

Biden Should Run on a Unity Ticket With Romney

Oh Christ.

The former vice president is clocking in well above the closest competition in the latest 2020 presidential polls. And, as he said last week, he is the “most qualified person in the country to be president.” Yet in a Democratic primary he could be cannibalized by his own kind. Other Democratic candidates with more ambition than ability to win a general election against Donald Trump will inexorably and gleefully erode his standing by rehashing the Anita Hill hearings, pushing him to the left on domestic policy and endlessly reminding voters of his support for the Gulf War.

Yes, the fact that he has taken numerous positions that have become toxic within the party will be a serious problem, and you probably shouldn’t omit the fact that this political powerhouse’s previous to run for the Dem nomination resulted in winning zero (0) delegates.

The speech salved some of the grief of those in our nation who worry that McCain’s passing has left a gaping hole in America’s moral fabric.

[One billion eyeroll emojis]

And here’s where the column becomes the worst erotic fiction ever:

Now here’s what Biden should do next: Pick a Republican running mate in a “trans-party” third-party run for the White House.

Joe Biden can TRANSCEND parties, man. [Elon Musk smoking weed gif]

Should Trump run again, this could be a “break-the-glass” moment for many Americans, creating an opening for a radical departure from our malfunctioning two-party political system.

Or they could just “break the glass” by voting for the Democratic Party, just like they did last month. Just crazy enough to work!

The Democratic primary is shaping up to be cacophonous and chaotic. Biden should capitalize on his status as one of America’s most popular politicians, skip the risk and potential indignities of running and losing in what will be a vicious and mulish, leftward-lurching primary, and slingshot straight to the general election debate stage on a third-party ticket.

Democracy — so CACOPHONOUS and CHAOTIC and even worse it might not produce the results favored by Beltway lobbyists!

Biden could run as the major third-party candidate with a principled conservative by his side (Lieberman, a one-time Democrat, technically categorized himself as an independent at the time McCain ran for president). A number of Republicans stand out: Nebraska Sen. Ben Sasse, outgoing Ohio Gov. John Kasich and newly minted Utah Sen. Mitt Romney.

“Joe Biden should run on a third party ticket with someone who agrees with Trump on every policy issue but wishes he was a little less vulgar.” I see no flaws in this theory.

Many past third-party bids have failed because they came from the lunatic fringes—think Jill Stein and Ralph Nader of the Green Party or Ross Perot with his quirky North American Free Trade Agreement obsession.

Imagine someone running against NAFTA, they’d have no chance of winning the Electoral College!

Biden, by picking someone from the principled wing of the GOP, would instantly signal that he intends to run from the center.

“Biden, by picking a docrtinaire right-winger with unpopular views, would signal that he intends to run to the center.”

What about policy? A Biden-led bipartisan ticket would pledge to serve a Cincinnatus-like single term and address all of the U.S.’s ticking time bombs like Social Security, Medicare, health care reform, climate change, money in politics, immigration, gerrymandering and infrastructure investment in four years.

Yes, the way a third party candidate can win should start by running on the premise that Social Security and Medicare are “ticking time bombs,” because the election will be decided by the Politico editorial board of 2011. And definitely I see no barrier to Joe Biden and someone who thinks the ACA should be completely dismantled coming up with a unified message on health care reform, Biden and a climate troofer coming up with a unified message on the environment, etc. etc.

Biden and his running mate could also promise to break through the debilitating stalemate on Capitol Hill by pledging to push for laws that reflect the will of simple majorities in Congress. Recent Congresses allow bills to move forward only when a “majority of the majority” in either house supports the policy, leading to gridlock and deepening partisanship.

“They should sit down with Mitch McConnell and tell him to cut the bullshit.”

A third-party presidency would be genuinely disruptive. Today’s ironclad party discipline could well break down, and moderates on both sides could form a powerful, decisive block willing to work with the new president.

DISRUPTIVE! Once you’ve used that word, you can make up any nonsense you want and it must be right. And what if this DISRUPTION resulted in the presidency being selected by House Republicans?

Would the members of Congress from various states choose to vote for the winner of the popular vote in their own states, or make their own calculations as to who is best for America? Precedent suggests a secret ballot, so individual lawmakers may vote their consciences. This scenario may not be terribly reassuring for those seeking a surefire means to keep Trump from a second term. But throwing the election to House seems just as risky as relying on the Democrats to nominate someone who can win 270 electoral votes.

Yes, if anything will save America from Trump, it’s the consciences of House Republicans. Would they support Donald Trump or Joe Biden for president? WHO CAN SAY?

And now, the punchline:

Juleanna Glover has worked as an adviser for several Republican politicians, including George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and Rudy Giuliani and advised the presidential campaigns of John McCain and Jeb Bush.

Who saw that coming?

…Shakezula has more.

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