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Julian Assange Has Thoughts About Lincoln

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Were you waiting with baited breath for Julian Assange’s thoughts about Abraham Lincoln?

If we accept my complete bullshit about American politics after I did more than any other person (along with my good buddies Vladimir Putin and Glenn Greenwald) to elect Donald Trump, then I am sure you will want to hear more about my discussions of American presidential history. Sure, I would have worked with Lord Palmerston to undermine that National Security State bastard Lincoln in favor of good Americans who aren’t going to start wars with foreign powers or clamp down on dissent like Stephen A. Douglas or Andrew Johnson. It’s what any good rapist hiding out in the Ecuadoran Embassy would do! Let’s start by thinking of all the people “Lincoln killed” without giving a damn about the 4 million slaves in the United States that the Civil War freed. And I am really shocked that Julian Assange doesn’t really care about slavery! Shocked I tell you!!!!

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